If you are against Daycare...?

Question

...would you accept a job if your mom could watch the baby for you? Is being left with Grandma different?

Answer 1

Yes I wil never put my kids in daycare, do to an abuse case involving my brother when he was 3. I only trust my mom or grandma to watch my kids. My grandmother took care of my oldest until she was 4, now I am a stay at home mom of a 6 and 1 year old.

You know your mom better than anyone at adaycare, and you know that she would never hurt her grandbaby.

Answer 2

Historically, rural families lived together in the same house, with the oldest son taking the farm over from his father. The wife would do farm chores and grandma would help with the kids. A relative is a good child care option, however, you have to be certain the relative can handle and active baby/toddler.

Also, children in daycare now receive a lot of personal attention and are given a boost up in social and learning skills. My daughter uses Grandma for 2-3 days and day care from 2-3 days, depending on the week. But daycare is expensive, you have to make sure that your job earning will cover daycare and still provide additional income to the house. A good compromise would be maybe a part-time job which would not cause too much dislocation to a less "athletic" grandma.

Answer 3

Yes, completely. Grandma is a family member and (hopefully!) deeply loves the child and already has a relationship with the child. Plus, one-on-one care from Grandma is totally different from one on 10 or 15 or 20 (or whatever your state mandated ratios are) that you will find at most daycares. The child would get more personal attention and be at less risk of infection and agression from other children. If mom or dad can't stay home, then IMO Grandma or another close relative is the next best option.

Any literate Grandma can teach a kid colors and numbers... my kids were both reading fluently well before Kindergarten not because they went to daycare but because they had intense one-on-one daily interaction from loving, involved parents. If Grandma is active, she can take the baby to story time at the library and playdates at the park for socialization. If she's not, you can consider a few mornings a week of preschool when your child is 3 or 4. Daycare is *not* required for early learning *or* socialization. Don't buy into the myth that only a paid babysitter can possibly raise your child for you.

I am certainly biased...some of my best memories from childhood are from being in the care of my grandmother during elementary & jr. high school. Ironically, I have more memories of her from that time than of my own mother, but some of my worst memories of childhood are from when she no longer took care of my & my sister and my mother was working full time. Every kid wants to know they are loved and cared for by someone who puts them first, no matter what. Hired help, no matter how warm, can't provide that unconditional love because at the end of the day they can be replaced by someone else who's trying to earn a paycheck.

Answer 4

I'm going through the same thing. In my case, I'm going to suck it up and let grandma be the babysitter. The only problem is that my mother and I have different parenting skills and ideas, so it's important that some guidlines are established. Being left with grandma is a lot different because of the surroundings. That's not to say that your child will learn on any different of a level than the kids in daycare.. but it is a good idea for you to set the rules for what should be done during the day and the routine that you wish to have set in place.

Answer 5

Under a few conditions I think it would be okay:
1) she was a good parent
2) she is willing to provide day care
3) she is able to keep up with your child
4) you still make the rules and are able to spend adequate time bonding

Yes being left with Grandma is completely different. In that case the child is no longer just another person to watch over, feed, and change diapers; it is kin. Also, one of the things I dislike about daycare (even though many are very good), is that they are often dirty, and are places that heighten the ability of viruses to pass on from child to child.
So, if Grandma is willing, capable, and responsible, I would consider it. If she shares good values, is enthusiastic, and a good caregiver then I would promote it. If she enjoys it, is creative, and full of love, I would jump at the opportunity.

Answer 6

I personally am against daycare, although I would never belittle anyone else for making that choice. My husband and I feel that my staying home enhances the upbringing that our children receive. They can get a lot more one on one attention from me than daycare. I can also set rules, boundaries and expectations to match our parenting style rather than rely on strangers to follow through or not.

I cannot imagine leaving my children with my mother for an extended period of time in that I have never done anything right in her eyes and she might convey that same message to my children. My mother in law watches the children periodically when I have a doctor's appointment or something like that.

The choice of working or staying home is a big one. We certainly made some changes once my income was gone. However, we feel that the benefits truly far outweigh any financial gain we might get from me working. Daycare expenses are very high and are only the start of what one will have to spend when going back to work.

I hope you are able to make the decision that is right for you, your child and your family as a whole. No one else can make that decision for you. Good luck!

Answer 7

IMO yes. i would feel a lot more comfortable working if a family member or trusted friend was watching my child. I considered going back to work part time after my first daughter was born, but the daycare i visted just seemed to much like "assembly -line" childcare to me. i just couldnt do it. That being said i would never put a young child in daycare 9 or 10 hrs a day. even if with grandma. JMO

Answer 8

I am a Grandmother of five. There is a big difference when Grandma watches her grandchildren. Is it better??? It depends on the grandmother. Here are some questions to ask yourself.
1) Is she physically able to keep up
2) Are you going to over load her with hours...will it ruin her special time and begin feeling more like a chore.
3) Does she work? If so are you asking too much?
4) Is she active? Will she keep your children active?
5) Will she be creative with the children?
6) Will she respect your wishes and not under-mind you?
7) How are you going to compensate her for her time? It doesn't have to be money...will you help her with choirs...lawn care????

I watch my grandchildren and love every minute of it however, I am a young grandmother. I also run my own business and set my own hours. My grandchildren partake of my activities which include art and writing. Very seldom do I prop them in front of a television. However, I have at times felt taken advantage of.

Answer 9

Ya being left with mom is different because the kids are with someone that actually loves them and doesn't look at the kids as just a paycheck. Grandma would be a little more protective with your kids than a total stranger would.

Answer 10

i'm no longer against daycares. My son has been in a marvelous church environment daycare with the aid of fact he exchange into 6 months previous. he's moved in to the newborn room now and this is wonderful how plenty he's discovered. He can variety-of count variety to 5 (he skips 2 and 3 sometimes, lol) and he sings songs and brings me residing house paintings projects on a daily basis! notwithstanding i could like to be waiting to stay at residing house with him on a daily basis, i won't be in a position of. and that i've got self assurance he's in an environment suitable now the place he's going to locate out the thank you to proportion and work together with different babies.