What do you think about teens who marry right out of high school and have kids young?

Question

I have a friend who dated this girl at school since he was 15.

He got married a few months after high school at 19, and then had a baby with his wife when he was 20.

He is 23 years old now and is MISERABLE.

He has no college education so he works at a sporting good store while his wife stays home with their child.

He says he feels he has messed up and his life will never be how he wanted it.

Even though he was a teen he should have seen the warning flags:

His girlfriend was threatening to leave him if he didn’t marry her right away!

And then she demanded to have a kid immediately after the wedding.

No one hangs out with him anymore because he and his wife are always fighting and seem unhappy.

I think teens can wait longer if they REALLY love each other. What’s with these teen girls demanding a marriage and children?

What do you think?

Answer 1

Welfare-waiting-to-happen

Answer 2

I got married 4 months after I graduated high school. I was 18 and my husband was 21. We will be married 2 years in august and we are happy. We dated on and off from the time I was 13. Don't get me wrong we have had our share of problems since we have been married and we have almost gotten a divorce but we worked hard and we are happier then ever. Now we are trying to get pregnant and have our first kid. I am 20 and he is 23. I dont regret what I did and would do it all over again. And I sure don't think I was too young. If "teens" really love each other why should they have to wait. The choice is theres. It doesnt matter if your 18,28 or 38 if you don't put in the effort to marriage and a family you are going to be miserable. I think it just depends on the person. Alot of people say they regret getting married so young and others say it is the best thing. I want to grow and change with my husband not alone. If i want to go party and hang out I want him there. Thats how it should be and some "teens" dont understand that when they get married. But I don't think people should say that ALL "teens" should wait to have kids and get married because some of them are mature enough and really will ejoy life more as a family. I know i enjoy it more being a wife then being single and I cant wait to be a mother. Hopefully before I'm 21....

Answer 3

I was in a similar situation that finally ended in divorce. I married the day after prom to my high school sweet heart. We had a child at 20. We were divorced at 23. Looking back I feel like we just married for all the wrong reasons. Lust instead of love or maybe it was just a way for me to get away from my small town life. He was in the Marine Corp and I wanted to be with him. (we were engaged for 9 months while he was deployed overseas) If we were married we could be together. I think sometimes young people just don't know how hard life is until it slaps them in the face.

We also don't see the awesome side of the world. We don't realize how many opportunities are out there for us as single people. I'm 26 and divorced now raising our 5 year old daughter. If I could change it all I don't know if I would because of her. But I do know that I have learned some very important life lessons.

Answer 4

what makes you think its always the teen girl demanding the marriage? My husband and I met when I was 17. He was 19. we were friends for a year.. dating other people.. and ended up together when I turned 18. we moved in together, and lived together for one year before getting engaged. I wanted to wait 4 years to get married, and he brought up a very valid point. we lived together, we shared the bills, we shared a life.. why wait for marriage? He wanted to be man and wife.. we were married one year after getting engaged. We now have a beautiful 17 month old, and I am expecting our second child next spring.
To each his own, many of my friends who are exactly my age are too immature to be married... however they also have different lives. We both have college degrees and steady jobs we are happy with.. You cannot judge an entire group of people.. its a case by case thing.. sure some teens may be in too much of a hurry to get married... but that is their mistake to make and not our place to judge ;)

PS.. my 'rents have been married for 26 years.. they got married when they were 19 and 23. they both were in college at the time and are still just as happy today as they were in the 80's :)

Answer 5

Well statistically speaking the marriage has a very low chance of working out. I actually know someone who did this and they have been married over 20 years, so there is always the exception. People should wait until they are old enough to make this kind of decision. 18 years old is still very young. Why not wait until you are settled into a career first, and have an opportunity to live in the real world for awhile.

Answer 6

I had a child at 18 and married at 21, i dont think i'm doing too badly we're pretty happy and everything! Each scenario is different, maybe they should try marriage guidance to work through their problems? If they are willing to give that a go it's worth a shot, if not perhaps they should sit down and talk about this as rationally as they can. Its not great for the child to hear mommy and daddy fighting. Best of luck to them who they can settle things amicably whichever road they take.

Answer 7

I guess I was a lucky one! I married 2 weeks after graduation and had my first child at 19.I have been married over 16 years! Of course there's ups and downs in any relationship,but if the downs are used as lessons things can be okay. I'm sorry things haven't went as well for your friend.♥

Answer 8

I think a lot of people who start early, end up like your friend. I don't think that they fully evaluate the possible consequences, the inability to continue school and get a good job, for example. I think that if they really loved each other, they would wait and make sure that the marriage is what is best for both of them. I also don't agree with getting married just to stop someone from breaking up with you. That does not sound like a good foundation for a relationship.

Answer 9

You go through so much growing between the ages of 18 and 25. It's really like a second adolescence. So I think getting married during that time can inhibit self-discovery and mature decision making. Waiting until your mid-20s greatly increases your chances of having a successful and stable marriage.

Answer 10

well, from my personal experience, it's up to the individual. i married not long after high school ended, my husband and i were together 6 months when we got engaged, 18 months later we married, we now have a beautifull daughter and another on the way...years after our first date and we have never been happier!
by the sound of it, he's a fool, if my partner said, marry me or i'll leave you, i would have said SEE YA! u marry for love, not cos u were threatened too. what a tool. if he isn't happy, introduce him to the words "councelling" or "divorce" hope this helps!