I fell for my g/f quick and we are both very happy...we talk about marriage and I want to propose to her within a year...but Should I wait longer or no? when i do we'd only be dating for about 10 months...and she never had a previous relationship before..is this not good? Do women need to have other guys to compare with? help!!
2006-07-26 08:56:47 · 12 answers · asked by ryan v 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU COULD BE DOING TO YOURSELF.....if you think you have to marry someone to prove you love them!!!!!
Should you marry her now, at this point in time? She has never had another boyfriend? You sound too young to consider it. Especially when you're both so inexperienced.
Yes, you both need experience with others. Involvements with other people build experience and each person (and each heartbrake) teaches us more about ourselves and what we want and need from someone else.
If you do this now, you will only cheat yourselves from life lessons that we can only learn through experience. Also, you will amways wonder what else is out there and eventually cheat on each other, or become resentful towards each other for feeling tied down.
If you really love each other, you don't have to get married to prove it. You can prove it by helping each other get through school, college, a career....basically help each other make some accomplishments in life to share with each other.
drphil.com has a premarital checklist that anyone considering marriage should look at. You need to know what to expect from being married (it's not always peachy) and how to participate in a partnership.
You need to know how to divide responsibilities, how you two feel about kids, religion, work hours, investing, familys/in-laws, holidays, where to live, etc.
Besides, anyone can act like who you want them to be (usually when you date exclusively for at least a year) so you may be fooled into thinking that they are the one for you). You need to be around them longer than a year, and see each other amond lots of different sitautions and through good and bad times.
You need time to develop yourselves, and create a life to share with someone, but you can't use them to fill a "void" you feel you have. They will always let you down. You need to see what the other person does, as opposed to what they say. Actions tell you who a person is.
When you're in love you can easily ignore "red flags" and make excusses for behaviors that you don't like. When you know yourself better, you are more able to spot the phonies and recognize the real thing.
Good luck, and don't limit yourself!
2006-07-26 09:18:02 · answer #1 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 25⤊ 4⤋
Generally 10 months is not long enough to know if you can sustain a marriage with someone for the rest of your life. As far as having previous relationships, it depends on the woman if they need to have that or not. Usually women don't realize that until it is too late. If you really want to ask her to marry you and you are serious about spending the rest of your life with her: If the two of you have not already discussed it, talk about what you both think marriage is, children (how many and how to raise), where you want to live, sex, money, house or apartment, what if you lost your job, what if she wants to stay home with the kids, where do you want to be in 10 years-see where I'm going.
I know most people would say that all this stuff is not romantic, and it's not. But ask someone who did what you are about to do what they wish they would of done before they got married and they'll tell you that they wished they'd asked these kinds of questions so they wouldn't be divorced. Marriage is not a fantasy and it is not romantic, unless you are the two most compatible people for each other. If your not it's a disaster. So do the work first and then you can have the fantasy and romance.
Hope I helped.
2006-07-26 09:07:33 · answer #2 · answered by writeroftheyear1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wooooaaahhh! sweetie slow down now. I know you might feel very strong about this girl and I'm sure she does you to but marriage is not a thing to jump into. there are alot of things that go along with it that can cause problems that a new relationship is not ready to handle. Even couples that have been together for years and years before marriage have problems with the process and one of the only reasons they can make it through is because they have years of being together behind their belt and they know they wouldn't want to lose all those years a new relationship doesn't have that. If you really do love this girl do you really want to put what you have on the line for a last name, a ring and a piece of paper.
Marriage really isn't everything you can have nearly everything a marriage has with out the marriage. there is no need to rush into it just try living in a way like you were married and see how it works. Time and getting to know a person is very essential to a marriage.
If this girl really feels for you and you fell for her why rush into it if its meant to be you will be together whether you are married right now or not.
Think It Over!
2006-07-26 09:05:04 · answer #3 · answered by DixieDarlin939 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm this is a tough one. Okay you don't want to rush into anything you may regret it later down the road. As far as her not being in any other relationships that good on your part you could be her first, her last, and her only. Since you both have already discussed marriage when/if you propose it should be romantic and a surprise. Honestly if you feel it in your heart that you want to marry this woman then go for it.
2006-07-26 09:15:55 · answer #4 · answered by SouthernBelle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the woman. I mean if you're already talking marriage and everything feels right with her, go for it. You know the feeling is mutual and that she truly loves you...I mean, talk to her about how you feel, tell her you want to marry her within a year and see how she reacts - if she's happy with the news then you know you've got a good thing going :) Communication is so important in a relationship. Good luck with everything!
2006-07-26 08:59:18 · answer #5 · answered by plcarnrike 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad and that i don't get alongside in any respect he's those air-head form of previous college father who isn't actual supportive. he's extra of those paying the charges and well-known stuff like that. Are relationship is undesirable we by no ability had those connection daughters issues despite if it made 2% progression from each and all the cases we use to argue and fuss. I actually hate my father he ruined my existence and that i've got 2 extra years to stay with him. I desire i knew the way it felt to be enjoyed with the aid of a father guy and might confer with him,have help.
2016-10-08 08:38:40 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is great that you are the first man to share herself with. But you guys havent been together for a long time. If you want to marry her you need to know her and i dont think 10 months is enough to actually know how she really is. Give it time that way when you do get married you wont be suprised by anything you didnt know about......
2006-07-26 09:05:05 · answer #7 · answered by just another hot mama 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? If 21 or 22+, I'd say it's safe. If you are any younger, you should wait longer. People who get married young don't seem to last long. But, sure.....I think you should.
Congrats!
2006-07-26 09:00:13 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Lovliness♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one thing u must remember...Love dont ask for birth certificates or time. If u love her it really doesn't matter whether u know 10months or 10 years. GO FOR IT
2006-07-26 09:02:18 · answer #9 · answered by Leo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No just as long as she know what she wants
2006-07-26 08:59:17 · answer #10 · answered by !!yentruoc!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋