I am a single mom of a three yr old little boy. My fiance and I were doing a long distance relationship and now he is moving across the state to live with us. He and my son get along great...but now that my fiance lives with us, they are both having a difficult time adjusting to eachother and I am stuck in the middle! I feel like I am always upset becuase we are at eachother's throats!I need help from someone with experience on how to help both of them adjust to eachother. My son still see's his father often. So we are also dealing with two homes, two families, and two sets of rules! HELP!:)
2006-07-26 08:50:55 · 10 answers · asked by Amanda 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
its going to take time for both to adjust. its a big change not only for your fiance but also for your son. because your son is use to having mommy all to hisself. You have to try to talk to your son and explain to him that you still love him very much and that you will always be there for him. but adults have to have grown up time as well. Allow your fiance to be apart of the daily routine but also keep time just for you and your son. And it would help as well to give them time alone too. so they can adjust and learn from eachother. it is difficult at times but you will do fine. and as far as two families thats just more people in his life to love him and teach him the rights and wrongs of life. You can inforce the rules at your home. as well as they can at thiers. You may not agree with what they allow him to do or not do vise versa. But with lots of love and time things will work out.
2006-07-26 09:00:00 · answer #1 · answered by april p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At three years old he can find a way to adjust to the new living arrangement, ignore the people telling you not to let him move in. Your fiance is a grown man(i hope) and he should also be able to adjust, but it wont happen over night. Let them do fun things together and eventually they will bond.
As far as the different rules go, I grew up with divorced parents and the most difficult thing i had to deal with was the different rules. consistencey is very important with children and It was hard for me to switch, i was expected to bahave one way in one home and another in the other home it was all very confusing. For the sake of your son sit down with his father and try to come up with basic do's and don'ts that you can both adhere to.
PS a blended family can be wonderful
2006-07-26 09:42:15 · answer #2 · answered by watson4_27 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many in your same situation. I have a neighbor that is in that right now. Two sets of rules is not uncommon, but your best bet is to sit down with your former husband and see if your rules can be matched. Young children are very forgetful, this will help.
As for your fiance moving in, as said let them spend some time together. If you work out the rules, I bet all will seem easier.
I wish you a lot of luck!
take care
2006-07-26 08:57:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is it so important that he lives with you? Your son comes first. Your fiance needs to find his own place until you're married. And even that shouldn't happen until your son settles down and is adjusted to your new relationship.
2006-07-26 08:56:55 · answer #4 · answered by ruthncls 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get yourself out of the middle - let them spend time with each other if possible have some rules you are all together on - counseling is also an option
2006-07-26 09:02:58 · answer #5 · answered by worldstiti 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of grown man gets into arguments with a 3 year old. dump this dip and raise your kid instead of looking for another bedwarmer
2006-07-26 09:11:34 · answer #6 · answered by kevin a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should not let your fiancee move in. what kind of values does this instill in your son who is at a very impressionable age when he gets older he is going to think it is OK to just shack up with his girlfriend instead of marrying her
2006-07-26 08:56:52 · answer #7 · answered by j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ive been through this in every which way you can imagine...as a kid myself, with my own kids...and with a girlfriends kids....i can tell you but your not going to like it....your just thinking about you and screwing the kid up for your own selfish reasons..ok, beyond that though...if this guy isnt comfortable with the kid then dont kid yourself and tell him not to kid himself for a piece of ars either....either hes going to take on responsibility to be there emotionally for the kid and be a man about it or hes not...period.
2006-07-26 08:58:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your fiance shouldn't move in with you yet.
2006-07-26 08:53:09 · answer #9 · answered by Jet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let them spend a few days together depending on each other
2006-07-26 08:53:09 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs Wright 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋