Has anyone out there lost any of their younger siblings and have sum advice on how i should handle it?

Question

How do i handel it? My mom says i don't hardly talk to anyone or come out of my room but when i do she says im taking my anger out on sumone else.

Answer 1

I understand how you feel; I recently lost a younger family member, who I was very close to. It's hard and you'll never get over it. You just have to accept it and move on. I didn't want to talk to anyone either. I felt like no one really understood how I felt and like no one could help me through it. But, they can help you. The reason you are taking your anger out on other people is because you're keeping your feelings bottled up inside you. You should talk to someone; a family member, friend, pastor, teacher, therapist...you should also pray about it. I know it is easy to be mad at God, but He is there for you and He will help you through it. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers...Good luck :)

Answer 2

Loosing a family member is a very tough loss to take. I lost a little sister when I was young and I think that counseling is a very good thing. One thing that you need to remember is that your parents also lost their child. They are going through the same loss you are and want to be there for you as I'm sure you want to be there for them. You are probably having a lot of emotions that you don't know what to do with and your parents feel that you are taking your anger out on them or possibly your other siblings.

The best advise that I can give you is to talk to them and tell them how you feel. If you are angry tell them and tell them why. sometimes it takes the most tragic events to bring a family closer together. Your parents love you very much and want to know what's going on inside. Whatever you do don't bury it and act like everything is ok. It will only hurt you worse in the long run.

Be strong but not too strong.

Answer 3

I am so sorry you lost your sibling. I never have experienced this, but I have worked with an organization dealing with loss of a loved one. First of all, there is no "right" way to grieve, and everyone reacts in their own way.

"Because physical health may be affected by grief, it is important for survivors to try to maintain adequate nutrition, sleep, and exercise. It's especially important for individuals with any chronic health problems, such as heart disease, if at all possible to stay in contact with a physician to ensure proper monitoring of their condition. Survivors are often preoccupied by their grief and may be prone to other sorts of mishaps, such as accidents, so extra caution is important. Similarly, it may be more difficult if survivors must make major decisions during the first several months after a loss, since life changes may bring on additional stress.

Most experts recommend that survivors confide in someone about the loss and find a support system like a mentor. This can be a friend, a clergy person, or another person who has experienced similar loss. It may take some time to identify friends who can be good listeners. Not everyone knows what to say or do to be helpful. Some survivors withdraw from social contact because of the possibility of hurtful comments. This is unfortunate, because it can cut people off from interactions that could be healing.

Grieving is a long and difficult process because it involves slowly remembering what happened. Sometimes the memories may seem like more than the survivor can bear. It can be helpful for survivors to learn ways to calm themselves. These might include such things as taking a walk, being with people, or participating in a distracting activity. Some survivors find it useful to write or to read."

I hope this helps. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Answer 4

I lost my sister 22 years ago. She was 7 and I was 8. She was hit by a car and unfortunately I was there to see it happen. It was the most devastating thing that I have ever been through. I remember it like it was yesterday. When it happened I had a lot of guilt and I felt alone. My mother was doing the best she could do to cope and still be there for me and my brothers. My father dealt with it by not accepting it which made it harder for me to grieve. My friends didn't know how or what to say and so when I needed someone to talk to they weren't really there. Not that I hold that against them, I understand but I really felt alone. They say time heals all wounds but that is not true it only lessens the pain.

I had counseling, I cried, I relived it over and over again but I went on doing the things I did before she died and life continued. There is no easy way to deal with this kind of loss and sometimes it may seem that the pain will last forever but it will get easier. Just hold on to the love that you two had for each other and remember all the good times you've shared.

These days my pain is from knowing that she wasn't there for the most important days of my life, my wedding, the birth of my children, and knowing that my children will never know the aunt that was so special when she was here and remains special to us now. Knowing that she never got the chance to experience the joys that awaited her should she had lived. But now I tell myself that I got to share 7 wonderful years with her while others didn't that makes me a lucky person. I also know that I have my own personal angel watching over me at all times.

Give it time, life will go on, just hold onto the memories and let them carry you through.

Answer 5

I would really suggest a support group or some counseling, maybe someone who specializes in grief counseling for children.

A story please? My step-daughter is 15. She lost her little brother to a heart defect when she was not even 4 years old and he was only 10 months old. The family didn't deal with it very well together. Everyone copes with grief their own way.

The dad needed to cry all the time but didn't want to talk to anyone at work or his friends about what he was feeling because he thought if he did, he would not be able to survive how much it hurt.

The mom just wanted to pretend the baby had never existed and wanted to get rid of all of his things and try to move on, but sort of detached from her little girl at the same time. I think she was depressed and not very functional.

The grandma was just sad and tried to take care of the little girl herself, but everyone was just angry about what had happened.

So 10 years later, everyone was still upset, angry, sad, not speaking, and finally the parents got divorced and the little girl grew up not wanting to be connected to anyone.

What I'm trying to say is... do everything you can do as a family to stick together and respect each other right now. Everyone will cope with their grief in their own way, but if you feel like you need to talk to someone about what you're feeling, please ask your parents to help you find some counseling or support services. You should all be involved... but it's okay to be the first one to say "I really need some help to deal with this."

My best to your family...

Answer 6

First let me tell you, i am so sorry for your loss. But, you have to get over it, girl. You cant spend ur whole life in ur room, Your sibling would have wanted you to move on. And it is not fair that you take out your anger on someone else. REad the chiciken soup books....they have great advice.

Answer 7

Im sorry for your loss.
I lost a younger brother who was murdered in a holdup at a laundermat when he was in college. It was very difficult to deal with, and I eventually got counselling to deal with my grief. Grieving is different for each person, and can take a lot of time. Eventually I lost my depression and emptiness, but still miss him dearly, 30 years later.
Good luck, and do see a grief counselor, or a clergy member.

Answer 8

Don't bottle up your feelings it's okay to feel hurt, cry etc. I think you and your mum need to have a talk you are both hurt. Share your grief talk things over with your family or someone you trust,
Remember the good times you had with your sibling I'm sure he/she wants you to be happy. Good luck I will be praying for you

Answer 9

nothing you can do will ever get you over your loss.

but what you can do is face it and acknowledge it . for instance, talk about the person you lost. find ways to remember them. try not to be angry about it but instead look at it as God's way (that is very difficult to do so try really hard).

maybe get into art or music or something and find a way to express your anger/pain/hurt other then venting on people.

Answer 10

i'm so sorry, i cant even imagine what you're going through. i've had a close person in my life die, but not a sibling. everyone deals with it in their own way, and at their own pace. nobody can expect you to act a certain way. maybe it would help for you and your mom to go to a counselor? i hope you will find peace somehow, just hang in there and make sure you talk to someone you feel understands you. God bless-