I am sending him a faceted pink crystal heart with the word love etched into the bottom that is about as big as your palm... I have one I keep under my pillow and I am sending him one to because we live 4 hours apart... I wanted to write a poem to put in the box with the heart... I got this much but feels stilted or something.. any suggestions..please be kind this is serious
A token of love with a sparkle so bright
Put me under your pillow when you lay your head down at night
Whenever you feel lost or lonely and you can’t hold back the tears
Put your hand under your pillow… and remember someone cares
Her love always surrounds you though far away she may be
Just close your eyes and in your mind her face you will see
Her touch is like a liquid flame
Enveloping your body and staking her claim
You feel her arms wrap around your neck so tight
Bathing you in waves of love that you just can’t fight
Our love has ruined us body and soul
No other could ever make us whole
2006-07-26 08:13:48 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Why not instead of saying her and she you put I and me it wouldn't take anything a from the poem and it makes it more personal. It's very beautiful by the way.
2006-07-26 08:17:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 14⤊ 2⤋
I am going to print this one for my daughter, it highlights the change among being crippled and as you place it being complete. I find it irresistible and ja, this can be a reward from God. The poor are God's manner of highlighting the truth that you're created complete. This is what God desires you to understand recognize at this degree of your lifestyles. The indisputable fact that you're capable to have an understanding of this that makes you an entity those folks have got to recon with. Surprise! shock! seeing that is most effective viable you probably have the Holy Spirit on your being. I could love to understand how historical are you?It is a query of cosmetic.Lovely
2016-08-28 17:31:17 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a little corny, but it's genuine. Love may be the noblest of pursuits, but no one ever said it was the most dignified. Don't change a word.
2006-07-26 08:19:11 · answer #3 · answered by Happy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Awww, it made me cry don't change anything at all. Besides, you are writing from your heart so no one else's suggestions would be the same
2006-07-26 08:18:00 · answer #4 · answered by roxxygrrl13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THAT IS SO COOL. I WRITE POEMS MYSELF BUT NEVER DONE THAT. I AM THINKING ABOUT IT BUT I HAVE TO LOOK FOR HIM IT BEEN 5 YEARS I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM. THAT IS A GREAT POEM AND IF YOU FEEL IT RIGHT GIVE IT TO HIM AND HE'LL REMEMBER YOU ALWAYS.
2006-07-26 09:14:23 · answer #5 · answered by Gloria (Madison) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds great. what isnt right? its beautiful. but and something of a promise. a promise of love forever. i dont know exactly how you should word it, but add a promise.
2006-07-26 08:19:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think yours is really good i probablly couldnt do anything like that
2006-07-26 08:17:40 · answer #7 · answered by Jordyn B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know
2006-07-26 08:16:29 · answer #8 · answered by BrooklynBrizz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋