So last night I had this conversation with my guy. I wanted to know where we were at in our relationship so I talked to him about gf/bf titles i guess you could call them. He was asking well what is bf/gf, what's the difference then what we have now to putting a title on it. So he started to ask me questions like well what is commitment? what is bf/gf? Then he said that it wasn't so much his past (because he hasn't dated much) but things that he has seen happen to his friends that get into the "bf/gf relationship". It seemed that he is scared that once he makes the step of the "relationship" that he won't be able to do what he normal has done with being single. He comes over all the time rather it be I ask or he does. I am an understanding person and I also need my girl time and understand a guy needs his but yet as long as we have OUR time I'm fine with it. So is he trying to get out of the relationship thing or is he just concerned that he won't be able to live own life?
2006-07-26 07:38:35 · 8 answers · asked by browneyegirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he is just concerned about his time how do I make him more comfortable with the fact that understand that we all need our time.
2006-07-26 07:39:05 · update #1
I'm mid tweenties and he is early tweenties. Also we have talked and we don't want to date anyone else. He wants to date me but he just seems scared of the whole commitment thing. I swear it's like he is scared I would take his week of hunting away or something lol. I would be like I would miss ya but go have fun!
2006-07-26 07:59:57 · update #2
maybe he is scared that if you change the label on your relationship things will change, its like some people with marriage-things change afterwards...
maybe he is scared of losing you as has seen it happen to others.. maybe he mould feel tied down to you and feel obliged to see you all the time and the whole under the thumb thing...
you need to explain to him that nothing will change and that you really want to be his girlfriend and him your boyfriend. assure him things wont change and that it will still be the way it is etc....
then if he still gets scared ask yourself if you want to be him if he cant be with you fully
good luck hun :)
2006-07-26 20:39:18 · answer #1 · answered by sinnedfairy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a suggestion for you..(and every other girl out there) You should really read "He's Just Not That Into You" Im not saying that this guy doesnt like you but one of the main points in this book is that if a guy likes you, he will be pursuing you. I would just take a step back and kinda go with the flow. Dont push him but dont keep your hopes high that he is "the one". You are a great girl Im sure and its only fair that you get a great guy so even if this one doesnt work out, dont get discouraged because there are plenty more out there! Good luck:)
2006-07-26 14:54:01 · answer #2 · answered by breeokc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he valuse your friendship and doesn't want to lose that, for one. You should tell him tha the friendship never leaves it just gets better. Also, if he is worried about his own time, just let him know that you are not going to try to fill his whole schedule that the both of you will have time to yourselves but you will want him to make sometime for you, which he seemingly already does, the title and the commitment just let people know that he is not searching for anyone else. Basically say everything you said in your question.
2006-07-26 14:48:07 · answer #3 · answered by Paktown 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your guy is either afraid of commitment, browneyegirl, or wants to be able to date other girls. Not knowing how old both of you are, the fear of commitment could be only because of maturity. On the other side of the coin, lots of people are afraid of commitment, either because of past experience or ignorance.
If he wants to be able to date other girls, then he should not be making a commitment to you. But he should tell you that he still wants to date other girls. And as long as there is no commitment, then both of you should be ok with dating other people.
2006-07-26 14:56:10 · answer #4 · answered by Flame 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just wants something convenient for him, If he does take that step then he will have to feel obligated. He doesn't want to be taken off the market. If you are OK with the way things are now, let them stay that way, and maybe he'll come around, (but don't expect him to). If not move on!
2006-07-26 14:49:53 · answer #5 · answered by wolfberry 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a guys point of view.... he is just playing dumb and bottom line is he is not ready for a relationship. Don't push it on him (I hate it when they did that to me), cause ultimately you will just push him away. Give it time... if he really does like you he will be the one to establish the relationship.
2006-07-26 14:46:40 · answer #6 · answered by Eric 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think since he hasnt dated much, he might know what it means to be in a real relationship. Tell him to try it and go from there.
2006-07-26 14:48:23 · answer #7 · answered by rednck_soldier 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when a bf doesn't want a commitment and wants his own time - he's still looking for someone else.
2006-07-26 14:46:24 · answer #8 · answered by Leila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋