Does it hurt the first time you have sex when you are a gurl, what does it feel like?

Question

When you have sex for the first time what does it feel like. How bad does it hurt? Is it a bearable pain or a death defiying pain.

im 18 years old so i am old enough.

PEOPLE I AM 18 YEARS OLD MY SISTER IZ 15 SHE WAS USING MY PROFILE AND DONT WORRY SHE ISNT GOING ANYWERE

Answer 1

One thing you need to understand about the hymen - that flap of skin that often partially covers over the vagina until you have sex, or use a tampon, or go horseback riding... - is that it is part of a MUCH larger context. The reason I mention this is that it is this much larger context that determines how sex is going to feel the first time you do it.

There is what I will call an 'old' system in which, unfortunately, most of the world is caught, which considers that women are or should be men's property, completely dependent on them for protection, provision and leadership.

Seen in this context, it is necessary for a woman's hymen to be intact on her wedding night so that her husband can 'make his mark' on her body by breaking it and causing her to bleed. Or at very least many men want a woman's hymen to be intact, regardless of whether they are married to her. Either way, the point is so they can feel like they own the woman's body after they have abused it.

For - let me emphasize - if a man insists on requiring a woman to let him injure her body in this way, it is exactly that: abuse. Such a man should be grateful if the woman contents herself with merely throwing him out of bed and refusing to sleep with him again - for he deserves much worse.

Among people who live in the old system, furthermore, it can even come to such perversions as women getting pleasure from the physically painful abuse of their bodies. Let me tell you something: heroin is pleasurable too. Does that mean we should all be taking heroin?

But I digress. In order for the hymen to remain intact, much more has to happen than merely not having sex. The girl must never touch herself 'down there', which means she has no chance of getting to know her body and its reactions so that she will be able to make conscious choices about what she does with her body, which means in turn that she is indeed very vulnerable to seduction and must be carefully guarded by 'responsible parties' (e.g. father, brother, etc.).

She must also never use tampons (I hope you never have to find out the hard way how *unsanitary* sanitary napkins really are...); and she must not engage in strenuous physical activity, for example riding horses (not only so she won't damage her hymen, but also so she won't acquire the physical strength necessary to maintain control over her own body even when that control is challenged).

The fact of the matter, however, is that there is no physiological necessity for the hymen, except maybe for a very young girl who isn't able to clean herself yet.

Nor does the blood coming from its breakage in any way make a relationship more holy. All the blood that we will ever need to be shed for purposes of holiness was shed by a Certain Person on a cross about 2000 years ago in Jerusalem. So there is no religious need for it either, in our day.

The only 'need' is cultural. It is based in that old relationship model. The New Testament, on the other hand, teaches redemption from the curse resulting from the Fall. It teaches that all persons are to love each other as Christ loved them, and all persons are to be subject to one another out of respect for Christ. It says that each spouse's body belongs to the other - in equal measure.

I don't see any place in this teaching for a one-way submission/ownership relationship of the type I described above. Any one-way submission is simply a reflection of the realities of the time, which Paul, for example, was giving people ways to cope with in the most Christian manner possible.

It seems to me that this must find its reflection in our attitudes towards our bodies. Women in particular become fully free agents. We can explore our bodies, become familiar with their reactions and learn to make real choices about what we do with them: then if we end up in bed with someone, it is because we chose this for ourselves.

And if, God forbid, someone takes it into their head to abuse us, we can know that we *do not* have to tolerate it. We have every right to gain the knowledge and physical abilities to maintain control over our bodies if that control is challenged, and put teeth into our insistence that the man who wants to be intimate with us must treat it as a privilege - every time.

The new model for relationships will also transform our attitudes towards making love: sex is now something done together. Since there is no need for blood, the first time can therefore be done in a manner where there's no more blood - and no more pain. Delicately, showing love and respect to the woman's body.

Practically speaking, this means the following: if a couple wants to have a delicate, loving and respectful experience (especially the first time, but not only), it's going to mean careful preparation of the woman's body in particular beforehand. The older she is, the more this is the case.

Usually, however, with enough patience, it is possible to do it even the first time without bleeding or pain, unless the woman has a medical problem - which is a good reason for her to see a doctor before she even thinks of having sex, to make sure she doesn't have such a problem.

It is usually recommended to do that several weeks in advance, just in case she needs to have an operation - to give herself time to heal afterward - or has other problems that might need to be treated.

If the couple decides, for example, to wait until their wedding night to be physically intimate, they should assume they will not actually have intercourse that first night, because they may need to spend a few days or even weeks carefully stretching her out (she can do it by herself or with her partner's help) before trying to have intercourse. It may take that long to ensure that it can be done safely - i.e. w/o pain or injury.

I think there is a reason for this: it serves as a reminder that sex is not a toy to be played with without thinking carefully about the consequences first. It creates a bond of oneness. And people who don't think about consequences beforehand often end up finding out the hard way, and too late - when there's already a third party or a breakup in the picture - that such things just aren't supposed to happen once you've had sex.

That's why you need to think about consequences in advance and fix things so that you really put each other first (even before Mom and Dad), so that you two (and only you, not your respective Moms and Dads) take sole responsibility for the consequences of your decision and for your life together, and make a permanent commitment - in public so you're accountable.

Getting this squared away beforehand (i.e. getting married - and really married, not just for the piece of paper) will provide a proper moral foundation for your sexual relationship, and also do much to reduce your anxiety level about what will happen with the relationship down the road, which will in turn make it easier for you to enjoy the proceedings in a relaxed manner when the time comes to 'tie the knot' physically.

And again, thinking through your 'model' for relationships is really key: the time to start thinking is now, so you can install the appropriate model to help you select the right person (you definitely need to both be on the same page regarding your relationship model, or you will have serious problems both in and out of the bedroom), as well as to support your having the experience of your choosing the first time you are intimate with him.

May God bless you

Answer 2

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
Does it hurt the first time you have sex when you are a gurl, what does it feel like?
When you have sex for the first time what does it feel like. How bad does it hurt? Is it a bearable pain or a death defiying pain.

Answer 3

It feels tight at first but you will relax at a point and it will not hurt anymore. It is a bearable pain unless there is more going on down there or he is too big. On your first time take it slow and make sure he respects that. Don't rush into it make sure to relax your Muscles and the pain will go away until he is all the way in then it will hurt for about 30 seconds and that pain will either be very tough or you may not even know it. everyone is different in how much they really feel.

Answer 4

It is painful. You have the realize it tears a think layer of skin away. That is why you bleed. If you are thinking about having sex and are very young I would suggest waiting. I was young when I lost my virginity and I wish I would have waited to meet someone I really loved. The person you are with should also know that it is your first time and I try to avoid the phrase, "Its my first time, be gentle." But whoever you are with should truly care about you and the experience you are sharing. I am not saying you have to wait until marriage but wait unitl you are old enough to understand that boys will tell you they love you to sleep with you and it takes longer than one week to truly love someone and you need be more mature to understand what that means. Most people after the first time say sex is over rated anyway.

Now if you are of age and thinking about having sex with your partner who has been with you for awhile and it is YOUR idea not his, (dont EVER let anyone pressure you into having sex) make sure it will not be something you regret in the future. Be responsible and use birth control and condoms. It will hurt but sharing that experience and intimacy with someone you love that feels the same way about you is worth it. At first its the most painful, you can help minimize the pain by using lubricant and having him go slow. After awhile it wont hurt as much. You will be a little sore for hours to come but it will be ok unless you are very tiny and he is very big (rarely happens) The physical pain will go away and after awhile it will get better and not hurt at all. I hope that you choose the right time for yourself and relationship.

Answer 5

I didn't hurt the first time I had sex--not that I noticed, anyway. It was a little pain, but it only hurt for a second and then we were too busy for me to really pay attention.

It it's unbearable pain, then you're either doing something wrong, or you really need to go see a doctor.

It's not that bad, and it's one of those pains that feel good.

Answer 6

it depends on ur body type. your vagina has never had something (usually) stretch the tissues around it like a rubber band. When is a man is inside u it depends on his width, which will determine the discomfort as well as how careful he is. You don't want a guy "slammin u" he must be gentle and slow. Has time goes on the tissue linning stretches out and it becomes more pleasurable than painful. Regardless, if ur hyman is broken already then it will feel like a gyno exam, however if he has to break the hyman first.. expect a liitle more pain than usual and some blood as ur breaking that skin flap, which is normal for this to occur.

good luck!

Answer 7

It depends. It didn't really hurt for me but I used to horse back ride, and I use tampons. So chances are my Hyman broke before. I have heard that for others it is a sharp quick pain followed by some discomfort after. Most of the discomfort is from soreness of muscles, Like when you work out in a new way for the first time. It is most defiantly not death defiying pain... nature saves that for child birth....

Answer 8

Well, my gf's told me that it hurts quite a bit. Not too much. Definitely a bearable pain, since she put up with it, and so did every other girl who's lost their virginity. She's told me that there's a dull pain for like two days afterwards, but after the first time, it shouldn't hurt that much anymore. When you do it the first time, make sure you're using a lot of lubrication so that it doesn't hurt too badly. Or you could be really horny and won't need all the lubrication. Good luck lol

Answer 9

Does It Hurt

Answer 10

well when i first had sex... it hurt quite a bit... i started crying a little bit (the tears just came rolling out) but it was bearable... i think the easiest way to deal with the pain is have the guy finger you first so that you're nice and wet and a bit looser than you would be if he didnt...

Answer 11

Dear baby,

I am a 41years old ,elder sister for U !
Well, I don't say ans act like a mother or aunt to U,as I am very young at heart.( for working I could be handle with the best in situation as my EQ at 55),however,when I am in love and need to learn,my heart & mood is only 17 to 24 only.So many people who know and likes me ,see me as an elder sister,of your age,OK!

Come back to the topic you concern:

1./That is totally not a hurt(as hurt means get pain in an negative way),although we get pain on our pychical body,Ok.
So,if U love each other,it is very much joyful,even the part of your body,get pain,which is not a comfortable feeling,yes,painful.

2./However,that is a process ,that each female animals should come across. Better,if both of U,love each other,the feeling at your heart ,with excitement and wonder,could more than compenatate,the pain.

3/And your lover,will understand and go there ,in a way ,with tender,that U wsill naturally cope with each other!

4/In your AGE,if go with a true love,most of the mother,will agree and support(are U 18 years old?)

5./ Go with a condom,or any well family planning,is a must,if U not prepare to have baby at the moment!

God bless U!