How do you tell someone that you want space and only.....?

Question

want to date when you have said those three magic words? I love him to peices but I like my freedom and I want to hang with friends before the summer ends. He smothers me too much with phone calls, text messages, and always wanting to be around me. I don't think there is a way to say can we just date once in a while or be friends because I'm not ready for the full blown relationship thing. oh and he is 25 and I'm going to be 30. We don't have alot of the same likes and there is definitely a maturity level difference.

Answer 1

Trying to keep from hurting someones feelings usually does just that! Your just not that into him, so woman up and tell him. Good luck.

Answer 2

You are going to have to decide what is more important...if you love him to pieces like you say then it would be him, but if hanging out with your friends is more important, you are going to have to dump him, at least temporarily. Can't really blame the guy for acting that way after you told him you love him, but try to break it off by telling him it's too much right now and you need some time to get your head right because you don't think you are being fair to him. Too many other things you want to do.

Answer 3

It sounds like it would be best to just tell him it's over. Smothering types never change and the difference in age/maturity will probably never get any smaller. Cut him loose in no uncertain terms. Don't let him believe there is a chance for future dates - that would be torturous for him and would cause a lot of unwanted phone calls for you.

Answer 4

Whether you believe it or not you just answered your own question. Being a woman about to become 30 and want to live your life the way you want too, you have every right to want your space. I know how you feel you want to just pull your hair out but I am sure you asked for this type of man in your life that would love you and be attentive to you. Mama always said be careful what you ask for. Life is short I am not saying hurt the man but what ever you decide one of you will be hurt and miserable. As long as you put it out on the table without beating around the bush and tell this man that I love you but I need time for me to get my sh** right and I would not have the time to give you with my head and time all messed up. Then you through in the fact that you really have nothing in common and that you feel that he needs to grow up. Put it like you want to but dont say it then try to clean it up where you are taking back what you said that only leads to problems. Example I have a man that I dont like at all sexually but when he starts with his sex talk over the phone I participate now he's really trying to get over here to spend the night when I know dang well it aint about to go down but I have given him the idea that it is because i participated in his sex call. You have to live your life to the fullest and be happy you can not be worried about other folks mishapps and unhappiness as long as you tell him and be done with it not sending him mixed messages then you did your part. Now if you just want to be homie lover friends with him then let him know this and see how he reacts to it. Your not ready for a relatinship you still like to go out and party. Live your life girl you still young. Never give into someone's happiness or wants because you will suffer for it.

Answer 5

I had the same exact problem once. I really loved the guy but I like my freedom. I cant stand to be smothered in a relationship. They get old really fast when I'm constantly being called, constantly being emailed and constantly being surprised with drop ins at home and work...........I cant stand it.

All I needed was just a little freedom, not to date other people but to just be alone and spend time with my family and friends. He could not understand it to save his life. I tried over and over to explain it to him but he never got the picture.

Eventually we ended up breaking up. One day I just came to the conclusion that he didn't trust me and that he wanted to control me and I wasn't having it.

Answer 6

You just did. Now tell him face to face in a public place like a restaraunt. You really would be better off not seeing this person at all but if you're determined to go on seeing him doing what I suggested at the top is the way to go. Be blunt, be direct and then be gone.

Answer 7

the only easy way is to come out and tell him and if he cant except then dump him or avoid him til u ready to go on a date ignore some calls and texts talk to him once a day then tell him u were really busy that day

Answer 8

dont tell him " i want space" just say "i dont want to be with you anymore because i think we are not compatible enough to keep dating" . sounds like to me you dont like him so dont waste any time beating around the bush. just be honest. and dating once in a while is b.s. to tell to someone that you said you love to pieces. that will just leave room for him to cheat because when you say once in a while. he is thinking you will just use him when you need him and then put him to the side when all you needs are met.

Answer 9

Just let him know you need a little more space of your own at the moment. Let him know if he continues to smother you that he may be pushing you away

Answer 10

You two are both mature, I am sure he is. Just tell him frankly and nicely. "Darling please give me more space.,, remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder" or that kind of stuff. Tell him he's choking you with too much love and too much attention you're afraid your love will die out of it. Reassure him that if you two are really meant for each other, then you want more of his attention not now but later in life, when you two grow older.

Answer 11

Tell him straight out that you are not ready to be in a serious relationship right now. It's not fair to him to lead him on like that. It obviously sounds like this guy is totally hung up on you.