I am a white female that has been dating a black male for about 2 years. I have my own place and he is about to move in with me. I want to tell my mom but i am scared it will ruin our great relationship? How do I tell her without ruining the relationship?
2006-07-26 07:17:46 · 22 answers · asked by jennifer_spanky2002 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you love him, just do it. If she loves you, it shouldn't be an issue. Love is blind. Good luck!
2006-07-26 07:20:11 · answer #1 · answered by thesweetestthings24 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I'd take Mom out for lunch. While you two are talking, bring up something that any reasonable person must admit, like there's no good reason for racist prejudices, race has nothing to do with a person's real qualities, etc. Keep adding clues until she gets the idea. Once she is "on board," she may prefer to tell Dad herself, rather than having you do it.
Breaking it to them gently is best, I think, even if they aren't prejudiced, because you're not only telling them about the BF, but also that you've been keeping him a secret from them for two years. That's gotta hurt. Also, if I were you, I'd put off the move-in date at least six months, to give your folks time to adjust to your choice and get to know him.
BTW, I know both you and he intend to remain chaste until you are officially man and wife, but I warn you that celibacy may not be easy while cohabiting. You would ensure a happy future together MUCH, MUCH better by making plans to get married than by settling for shacking up.
Blessings to you!
2006-07-26 08:04:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's hard to say since I don't know her or her views. When I was growing up my parents were against interracial relationships. In high school, a black kid asked me to home coming. I had a crush on him anyway, so of course I said yes. My mom was pissed. In fact I dated this kid for a couple of years against her wishes before we split up. When I brought home the Mexican she welcomed him with open arms.
She will find out eventually and I think it's better she hears it from you if you think it's going to be that much of a problem for her.
2006-07-26 07:25:19 · answer #3 · answered by real_sweetheart_76 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should have done this about a year and a half ago. Now you want to tell your parents your moving in with a black man?? At first they will be traumatized. And then as they get to know him, they will get use to the idea. Prepare for some resistance at first, but they will get use to it.
2006-07-26 07:23:27 · answer #4 · answered by jacdog61 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should hide it i think you should talk to your mom and tell her and explain how you feel about this man and how he treats you not all parents agree with the choices their children make in life but they still want them to be happy skin is just a color its about what is skin deep and if he treats you good they should at least feel some what rejoiced that you have meet someone who makes you happy
2006-07-26 07:25:35 · answer #5 · answered by kizzme1017 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey mom, dad, I'm in an interracial relationship.
2006-07-26 07:19:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know you're mother. What are her general views on race? If she's fairly liberal you should have no problem. You have nothing to apologize for. See the old movie, "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner". Sometimes life imitates art.
2006-07-26 07:21:50 · answer #7 · answered by canela 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has negative feelings about interracial relationships you will not be able to keep from ruining your relationship w/her.
2006-07-26 07:20:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jenn,
I just want to say, trust God with every part of your being.
Tell your mom at her place, not yours. That way if she tells you to get out from her being upset then that leaves your door open for her to come see you to talk about it. Let her know that she is number one and you want to go to her whenever you need her and when you get married( assuming you two will), THEN SHE WILL BE still no. one for being mom but he then will be no. one because he must cling to you.
2006-07-26 07:33:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope your mom is not racist but if she is then she will be angry about it no matter how you come to her about it. But if yall do have that really good bond like you say yall do then just tell her about him. don't say he's black right away just talk about all the good things about him that you really value. Then pop it in there by saying yeah and he's black. just like that.
2006-07-26 07:24:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner! ( It's a movie that addresses this very issue and it's great.)
2006-07-26 07:22:38 · answer #11 · answered by Karen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋