How do you tame children under 5 years of age?

Question

Ok, I know, taming is for animals but man, these kids act like one sometimes! How should you discipline a kiddo of 3 years that feels like what he is doing (bad) is funny. I get upset but he laughs....then I give him time out but this is not working. I've also taken favourite toys away from him but then he just moves on and forgets I even took it from him...
What to do??

Answer 1

Time outs don’t work. They only cause resentment and are shaming to a child. Time outs are a way for you to control your child but not a way for a child to learn self-control. Try and use logical consequences whenever possible. Taking away a toy or privilege when your son misbehaves is not a logical consequence. Taking away a toy if he throws it or is destructive with it is logical. These are some other examples of logical consequences. If he makes a mess, he cleans it. If he breaks a toy, it goes in the trash. If he damages something in the home, money comes out of his piggy bank or he earns money doing things around the house to pay for the damages. Let the discipline fit the crime.

Another technique you can try when he is misbehaving is this. As soon as he misbehaves, get down to his level and say "I don't like when you (explain what and why)." Take him gently by the hand and put him in a spot in your home (bedroom, the couch.) Say "When you're ready to (listen, stop, behave) then you can come back with me." This is not a time out because you are not giving a time limit (you controlling him). He returns when he's ready to control himself. You may have to take him back to the spot a few times before he gets the message. Thank him when he behaves. Keep it up!

Notice his when he is not misbehaving. Say things like "You worked on that for a long time! Look how high you can climb! You used so many colors on that picture!" These are intrinsic motivators rather than extrinsic rewards ("Good job," stickers, candy). These phrases are great confidence builders.

Set limits, follow through, and offer choices, not chances. You can say “Do you want to do that by yourself or do you want some help?” "No" should mean "No" the first time you say it. Say "Yes" as much as possible. Be patient and consistent. Good luck!

Answer 2

The amount of advise you have received for this question is overwhelming !
The only other thing would like to say is, whatever discipline you choose to use be consistent , say what you mean and mean what you say. Always follow through with a disciplinary action.
If he doesn't listen to you the first or second time you say or ask him to do something, go too him, get his attention (turn him around and gently force him to look at you i find works best) and get down to his eye level.
There is sound advice in the other answers ,decide on the best points out of them and then stick to it.
Also routine for any age group of children is a good idea1
Bringing up children isn't a walk in the park!
~we love them dearly even though they drive us to distraction~
good luck!

Answer 3

First the child doesn't know that you are in charge . We were spanked when we were little and at about 5 we knew when any adult meant business. The spanking was not abusive and rarely did I get one, but just knowing that is the consequence can change a child mind and behavior. If this child knew that if he did not stop the bad behavior soon his punishment would be unpleasant then maybe you could gain control. And at 5 they need control and consistency.

Answer 4

how old are you, you are obvioulsy not doing it right or the child has some major behaviour problems. All the things you listed are rigt, apart from showing upset. Always look and sound cross, never get upset and never get angry.
Three year olds are ego centric, meaning they are selfish, you need to guide them in how to think about others.
Have you tried gentley moving him onto something else, spending ome one to one time with him.
Having tackled 20+ of these types at once, I can say that patience and care works wonders

Answer 5

The correct word is "training", and the first 5 years are the most important. Who they are at 5, is who they will be for the rest of their life. Treat this tender age like a flower. I have 3 precious children who are happy, and enjoyable to be around. Here's what I do:

( I think time outs would work if the parents are CONSISTANT about the whole thing.) I think it's harder than spankings. Here is how my husband and I spank our children:

answer: out of pure love-
never out of anger,
never with a raised voice.
Firmly, but not to hard.
with consistancy
I spank my children for 3 things, and 3 things only:
1. Lying
2. Disobedience (I mean obeying your voice the 1st time)
3. bad attitudes

If they got these 3 down pat, they will be very well-behaved children. Very pleasant to be around. When one of these 3 things are broken, I get the paddle (wooden spoon usually), and they must touch the bed, and stand still to get their spankings. Usually about 2 or 3 firm ones. Enough to sting. Depends on the crime. I hate lying more than anything, so they might get about 7 of those for lying. Then, after the spanking session is over, I ask them why they got spanked. They must tell me why, or some kind of communiction went wrong. Then they must say they are sorry, and name the thing they got spanked for. Saying "I'm sorry" is not enough. They must say "I'm sorry for _______". Then I give them a hug, love them up, and tickle them or something to keep the communication lines open. never tell them to go to their room after you spanked because they will just think of reasons why that was so unfair, or why they were right, and you were wrong. Yes, spanking must be administered in love. Never spank for accidents, or things like they are just being kids- such as running around, or being loud or things like that (unless you tell them to stop- then that would be disobeying.) I am a mother of three, and have peaple begging me to babysit my kids because they are happy, sweet, enjoyable children. Perfect??? Haaa!!! NOPE!!! But they are enjoyable to be around for the most part. I love them, and spend time with them, read them books on free time.

Hope this helps- and a key word is CONSISTANT- don't spank them for something one day, and let them get away with it tomarrow or this method won't work. It's not easy, but rewarding.

Answer 6

Was this kid taught to mind? Are there others around that are laughing when he does wrong; that definitely doesnt' help.

Set up a behavior chart (reward system)with prizes or special priviledges. Like one star for listening, or two stars for picking up toys and then of course take them away for doing wrong. Don't let the kid keep the prize if they turn around and misbehave.

Give him alot of praise for doing well and behaving properly.

Answer 7

He might just be bored which is why he might find you getting upset funny. Try spending more time with them so they don't have to resort to crazy antics to get your attention. Whenever they act up, put them in time out (one minute for every year they are old. ex. 5 mins for a 5 year old) but tell them WHY they're in time out. Good luck!

Answer 8

Nanny McPhee? Nanny 911?

Answer 9

Use my blue and white whip. If its good for a horse......its good for a kid!