Does absence make the heart grow fonder or give room to wander?

Question

MY Bf and I are really busy at times and haven't been able to see each other much, do you think that hurts or does it help a relationship?

Answer 1

It depends on how strong you guys are in your relationship. A lot depends on the guy as well(and the girl sometimes). A lot of guy's are decent and would not wander even when tempted but........guys being guys there are many who think with the wrong head and use weak excuses to justify things.

For me absence DOES make the heart grow fonder. It makes me miss that person more, and when I see her again it feels fresh. You look forward to meeting the person again. It's like a mini falling in love with each getting 2gether cuz there isn't the tiredness that can come from being with each other 24/7. I think teh heart likes that longing and aching for the other.....bittersweet sweetness......n it loves that feeling of reuniting.............This is just my take on it though, everyone is different but I like the absence and the coming together again.

I don't think it hurts a healthy relationship. If the trust n love is there then I believe absence is a good thing . When I lose interest in someone it's never from having an extended period away from the person. It's always for other reasons. Good luck! :))

In the words of “The Prophet” by Kalil Gilbran:

"But let there be space in your togetherness,

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other’s cup but drink not from the same cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be Joyous, but let each one of you be alone.

Even as the strings of the lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow."

Answer 2

That depends on the relationship. For some, absence makes the heart grow fonder. But that only works in VERY serious relationships... as in married couples, or when both partners agree that it's headed in that direction. In such a case, the heart isn't "wandering" because it already feels it's found what it needs.

But if the relationship is shaky, new, or just not that stable and serious yet... absence can give the mind too much time to come up with doubts. Any doubt that was already there before the absence will just compound over and over again, creating the opportunity for infidelity.

Also, absence for an unconfirmed amount of time can be death to a relationship. The heart doesn't know what to hope for and look towards. There's too much uncertainty.

Answer 3

I understand where you are coming from. My bf lives in London, England and I live in the US. Absence does make the heart grow fonder but it also makes you think "is it really worth the trouble to keep this going?". I am not interested in wandering and neither is he. We do spend a great deal of time chatting online or talking on the phone everyday. We always tell each other where we are and what we are doing. Most importantly we tell each other several times a day how much we love each other. I think this is a challenge and one must have patience and understanding to make any relationship work. If you love each other, you will get through it. Don't fall through the cracks of temptation. If your relationship is a good one, don't ruin it. Our relationship is great and we have great communication. Keep the lines of communication open and always let each other know how you feel. It can hurt to have someone you love so far apart from you, but if you have faith that everything will be ok then you have nothing to worry about. Sometimes you need time and space and that isn't a bad thing either. It helps the relationship to get stronger because you also have time to think "where is this going?". Once you know how things are going for sure, you should have a great relationship and be worry free and enjoy it. I hope I have answered your question. Good luck!

Answer 4

Ok then. It depends who you ask.

I think it makes the heart grow fonder if you really care about the person. I've always thought this. In fact, my g/f is leaving the country to study abroad for about 15 weeks. She doesn't want to go, and she says she's really going to miss me. Heck, I'm going to miss her too. She's worried that I might lose interest in her while she's gone. I tell her all the time that it's only going to make me feel for her more, and when she comes back, I'll love her more than ever.

We've been together for a little over three years, so we have a fairly strong relationship going. I believe this makes a difference. If it was someone you just met and you left for 15 weeks, then the heart might start to wander. Personally, I still think it would grow stronger, even if I had just met her. I don't think any distance can (or should) come between a relationship as long as you know you'll see that person again. Friendships can come and go but a relationship is something more.

Hey, and don't worry if you haven't had too much time to see each other. It happens to everybody at some point, especially in college. My logic is "when everything's done, we can rest together". Some things are too important, and you need to spend your time doing them, like work or class. Of course, that doesn't mean that you won't have that person on your mind the whole time.

I don't think your situation should hurt the relationship. Will it help? I don't know. Maybe. If it does, great! The only thing I suggest to you both is to try to keep in contact with each other. Even though you can't see each other, talking will reassure you both that you're still thinking about one another, and that you still care for them. Time apart means that you are missing events in each other's lives. When you communicate (whether it be through telephone, email, real mail, or IM), make sure you fill each other in on your lives, and what's been happening. This will help the other not feel left out. Also, remind each other that you miss that person and can't wait to see that person again.

Best of luck to the both of you! :)

Answer 5

For me absence DOES make the heart grow fonder. It makes me miss that person more, and when I see her again it feels fresh. You look forward to meeting the person again. It's like a mini falling in love with each getting 2gether cuz there isn't the tiredness that can come from being with each other 24/7. I think teh heart likes that longing and aching for the other.....bittersweet sweetness......n it loves that feeling of reuniting.............This is just my take on it though, everyone is different but I like the absence and the coming together again.

I don't think it hurts a healthy relationship. If the trust n love is there then I believe absence is a good thing . When I lose interest in someone it's never from having an extended period away from the person. It's always for other reasons. Good luck! :))

Answer 6

You know until about a month ago I had always heard "absense makes the heart grow fonder" then someone said that it give the heart time to wonder. I don't know if that is really true or not maybe it is cause people have added on to a really old saying I will tell you that absense makes one not take advantage of each other like you normally would do if you saw each other all the time. It also makes you appreciate the little things cause you actually take the time to notice. So I think I am going to have to run with just the old part of the saying!

Answer 7

It depends on how far along you are in the relationship and how stable it was to begin with. If you are quite comfortable with each other's families and friends, have a solid friendship relationship, well established as a couple and are heading towards marriage; i.e., you've already discussed it, then absence probably makes the heart grow fonder.

If you're established in the above-referenced circumstances, absence will definitely make the heart grow fonder - of someone else.

Answer 8

That's a very good question.

It all depends on the two people and their level of feelings and commitment to one another.

Right now, hopefully in a couple days I can find out if absence made the heart grow fonder for my ex. He said he wanted a break a few weeks ago, and I can't get him out of my head, it's like, almost 24-07 he's on my mind. We did need some apart time because things were getting too bad for us. But we kept in touch via email. I miss him so much it takes everything within me not to go bazooka.

He writes me telling me he misses me, and hopefully he'll be more respectful when we see each other, and see I'm not worth losing.

But because he's not in love with me, I would not put it past him if he's thinking about other women and wanting their attention. He may not physically or verbally wander, but he might be wandering in his heart and mind to some, if not all, extents.

Good question, and I wish you the best. It can help, or hurt, or a combo of both.

Answer 9

r cuz there isn't the tiredness that can come from being with each other 24/7. I think teh heart likes that longing and aching for the other.....bittersweet sweetness......n it loves that feeling of reuniting.............This is just my take on it though, everyone is different but I like the absence and the coming together again.

I don't think it hurts a healthy relationship. If the trust n love is there then I believe absence is a good thing . When I lose interest in someone it's never from having an extended period away from the person. It's always for other reasons. Good luck! :))

In the words of “The Prophet” by Kalil Gilbran:

Answer 10

2gether cuz there isn't the tiredness that can come from being with each other 24/7. I think teh heart likes that longing and aching for the other.....bittersweet sweetness......n it loves that feeling of reuniting.............This is just my take on it though, everyone is different but I like the absence and the coming together again.

I don't think it hurts a healthy relationship. If the trust n love is there then I believe absence is a good thing . When I lose interest in someone it's never from having an extended period away from the person. It's always for other reasons. Good luck! :))

In the words of “The Prophet” by Kalil Gilbran:

"But let there be space in your togetherness,

Answer 11

You know, i think that it can really make the heart grow fonder. My boyfriend is the love of my life, circumstances beyond our control separated us eighteen years ago. We got back together in 2004 and have been very happy. We are older, wiser, the kids are all grown, we can go where we want ,when we want, with no one to worry about. I don't know if that saying holds true in every situation but for us, the second time around is soooo much better. Absence definitely made our hearts grow fonder because to coin another old saying "You don't know what you've got till it's gone". Just glad I got a second chance.