can you tell me the most hilarious joke you've ever heard. it can be as long as you want..just also make it funny. the one that makes me laugh the most will get 10 golden pts.(that really don't mean anything) thank you soo much.
2006-07-26 07:00:33 · 12 answers · asked by nikki -nicole 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
it's one of Wise Vibes jokes..its so darn funny...:)
A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife; so he went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home.
He had finished the book by the time he reached his house. The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And, when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
His wife responded, "The funeral director."
p.s...To..Wise thank you..i like ur jokes..:)
keep posting...hg1 cheers
2006-07-26 07:18:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
So, three nuns are driving down a highway, but the driver turns on the radio and the resulting crash kills them. When they wake, they find themselves in a cloudy wasteland--The Barrier between Heaven and Earth. They eventually see God standing next to a large bowl of holy water.
"You three have been exceptional followers of me," God said. "So I am giving you the reward of knowing the ways of evil. You may go to heaven once you have done a sinful deed on Eatrh. However, once you drink the Holy Water, the changes you created on Earth will go back to normal." He gestured towards the big bowl of Holy Water.
The nuns were quickly transported to Earth, when 10 minutes later, they returned.
"I shot a man twelve times." the first nun said. She drank the Holy Water and vanished.
"I blew up a school building." said the second nun. Then she drank the water and dissapeared.
"So, what'd you do?" God asked the third nun.
"Well," the nun said, "I peed in the Holy Water.
2006-07-26 07:13:55 · answer #2 · answered by keybaordz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is the best joke i ever heard!!:
Little Johnny is in a class where every Friday the teacher asks a question and if you get it right you don't have to go to school on Monday.
The first Friday the question was, "How many gallons of water is there in the whole world."
No one knew so they all had to go to school on Monday.
Next Friday, the question was, "How many grains of sand is there in the whole world."
No one knew so they had to go to school on Monday.
By this time Little Johnny is getting mad because he doesn't want to go to school on Monday.
So he paints two ping-pong balls black and the next Friday right before the teacher asked the question he rolled the two blach ping-pong balls up to her.
She said, "Who is the comedian with two black balls?"
Little Johnny said, "Bill Cosby, see you on Tuesday."
i copied and pasted this. it was that funny!
2006-07-26 07:10:50 · answer #3 · answered by xxfeleasexx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happened to the vampire after he bit Jessica Simpson?
His IQ dropped 30 points
2006-07-26 09:51:19 · answer #4 · answered by dishwasher67 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a boy was late for school the teacher asked why are you late then he said i was on top of cherry hill
another boy was late for school so the teacher asked why are you late then he said i was on top of cherry hill
a girl was late for school the teacher said lemme guess you were on top of cherry hill...the girl said no i am cherry hill
how is a christmas tree and a preist the same...?
they both got balls
2006-07-26 09:03:33 · answer #5 · answered by Maria 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm rather happy to word which you have particularly grew to become your resourceful and prescient to ""present day events"" from ""R&S". Now on your question : ""Thirumangalam Bye election"" has additionally been declared as ""peace & fairful"" by using the Election value of India. So. can we savour Thirumangalam human beings for that who voted with none """partiallity or favour""""or """"decrease than stress"""""?????? Th comparable trend is being accompanied by using the Ruling occasion in all the subsequent Bye elections. So Thirumangalm grew to become into an eye fixed-opener to Tamil Nadu electorate???????
2016-12-10 14:59:45 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
never heard a funny one. Yet!
2006-07-26 07:08:44 · answer #7 · answered by confused 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there was three men at the mall and one cute girl one of the men were white, one of the men were black, and the last man was chinese. so the white man went to go kiss the girl he died becuase of aids, then the black man went to go kiss the woman he was sent to the hospital becuase of hiv, and then the chinese man went to kiss the woman and said "Me chinese, me not dumb, me put condom on my tounge!"
2006-07-26 07:10:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
what's red and has 7 dents?
snow whites cherry
2006-07-26 08:28:00 · answer #9 · answered by Kim 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im not a funny person, its so sad
2006-07-26 07:11:32 · answer #10 · answered by african queen 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋