The pictures were in a folder on the hard drive and not on the internet. They could be on the internet....I'm not sure. Do I have a legal right to address this issue? I would like full custody of my child.
2006-07-26 06:47:14 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Using your husband's indiscretion as a mean to hurt in him court is just so low. I understand that your 11 year old son saw those pictures and sure your ex should've been more careful about those pictures. Everybody has some kinkyness in them, there is no harm in that. What you should do is talk to your ex and as a family, discuss the pictures he's seen... sex ed is important. I just think that you're been quite a nasty witch to use his kinky pics to deem him as an unfit parent. You're just stooping lower than he is.
2006-07-28 08:59:34 · answer #1 · answered by bonjovifan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Addressing the issue is not a matter of law. Addressing the issue is a matter of parenting and yes you do have a right to address it. As far as a judge granting you full custody because your son saw what he saw, not likely. If the father is a bad parent and doesn't deserve access to the child I'm sure there is something else you could bring up in court except your sour grapes that your ex and his new GF are doing the horizontal mambo and taking pictures of it.
Here's how my dad addressed the subject with me when I was about the same age and some kids brought the first porn mag I had ever seen to school, and we got caught with it.
First, he asked me how much I knew about what I saw? (im guessing so he knew whether to have the 'full' sex talk with me or not) Then he tried to impress on me the need for respect for women. He told me that what I saw was not neccesarily wrong or right, but was definately not appropriate for me to see, or to want to see.
Now as for it being his dad that he saw, he probably won't sustain any more psychological injury than he would if he walked in on the act between his parents, (when you were still together) like almost every kid 'unfortunately' has done sometime in their life.
2006-07-26 14:03:42 · answer #2 · answered by peardietz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to discuss the issue with your son. He could be going through a lot right now because of those pictures, and is really in need of guidance. Just try to keep your discussion with him as age appropriate as possible.
Are you just wanting custody out of spite for this/other incident(s)? Or, have you wanted full custody for a while, and now you feel you might have a reason to get it? I have no idea whether you have a legal right to address the issue, but you probably should have a discussion with your child's father regarding computer safety for your son. Obviously, the pictures weren't well-hidden, and it could potentially happen again.
2006-07-26 13:53:37 · answer #3 · answered by Oh no 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to them about it (to make sure it has been dealt with and you are heard) but would try and get full custody as well. It's obvious that the are not taking the necessary parental precautions... Exposing a young child to such sexuality is a form of sexual abuse. If they want to keep such pictures they need to make sure he cannot get to them -- put them in a safe on a disk, put them in THEIR email which requires a password... They need to remember this is a "family computer" when children are using it. I don't think this incident alone would give you full custody but if you can prove it's not an isolated issue or can kind other forms of neglect/abuse you might have something...
And talk to your son about this... Don't assume they will. He will need your guidance...
2006-07-26 14:14:37 · answer #4 · answered by snape4good 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to have the talk about the birds and bees. It is your ex right to take what ever kind of pitchers he wants as long as he is not hurting anyone. Talk to the ex tell him what your guys son saw it will probably embarrass your ex and he will delete the pitchers as far as taking him away from his father completely you have given no good reason why that should happen. I think you still have feelings for him and it bugs you to know that he is doing those things with another girl. Move on with your life and get your self someone. Oh yea tell your kid to stay off his dad computer and don't go snooping in his stuff problem solved.
2006-07-26 14:56:31 · answer #5 · answered by Wondering 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Assuming you have not file divorce papers yet...
Yeah, you can get full legal custody over it. Keep in mind, that still means every other weekend and one night a week visitation.
It takes a lot to erase that right, and those pictures will not do it.
My freaking ex-wife became a male, and didn't pay child support, and there was still no legal way to wipe out those rights. Got the picture?
Of course, they stop paying the support, you have the lever.
She/he/it told me it was a separate issue.
I told her, yeah, it is. And I am going to send you to jail. Let's work something out...
2006-07-26 13:56:06 · answer #6 · answered by diogenese19348 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great guy... call a lawyer and file for full custody. yes, I do think that is putting your son in harm. My son saw my ex watching porn at his fathers home when he was over there. He came to me and told me about it. he wanted to know what I thought. I asked him if "his dad was alone while watching." he said "yes, in the dark in his office", and then I asked him "if he thought his step mom would like it if he were looking and getting excitied over other women". My son said" he would think it would hurt her feelings,etc". So, it's not enough to get full custody, but my son has very little respect for his father, and I didn't do or say anything, he did it to himself. My son knows what it is to disrespect women, and he wants no part of it. So, maybe talk to your son, and see how it made him feel, and what he thinks of his dad. I feel bad for your situation, thats a tough one. hang in there, but I would definitly say something to your ex, no matter how slight. And be sure to let him know how he offened his own son.
2006-07-26 13:57:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry. You 1st need to confront the father about his irresponsible actions of not being more discrete in hiding the pictures. There really isn't a good solution about that matter. Tell him the truth of the matter. You can't cover something like that up. Tell him that his father was wrong to do so, without demeaning the father too much. Good luck!!
2006-07-26 13:52:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to address the issue, but not legally. Your son's father needs to be taught responsibility when it comes to placement of things like that. You son needs to be taught about snooping on other people's computers. Your husband probably didn't have that folder on the desktop, so he probably had to dig for it. Your husband should have it hidden on his computer, not just buried.
2006-07-26 13:51:50 · answer #9 · answered by Wookie on Water 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fight for full custody if that's what it takes. You certainly don't want him to run into the same sitation again. Maybe you should talk to his dad about it. But make sure he doesn't yell at your son. You don't want your son to think his dad hates him for what he did. And try to talk to your son about what he saw that way he doesn't feel scared of his dad or girlfriend. Goodluck!
2006-07-26 15:10:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋