How Can I Get His Trust Back?

Question

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a year and i have done more then one thing to lose his trust and everytime i did something i promised him i wouldnt do any thing else to lose his trust but then i did...now i just want his trust back can someone help me?

Answer 1

Once shame on you,twice shame on him. Could you blame him for not wanting you back? Move on and watch what you do from now on.

Answer 2

I assume you are talking about cheating on him here, correct? If that's the case you're in a very tough spot. All you can do is *stop* cheating and be patient. It's going to take quite some time and it's really up to him how long.

You should also try to examine why you cheated. Often times it is a power struggle thing where you cheat to show him you don't need him, then you hand him the power back because you need his trust and forgiveness. Or perhaps you cheat because he doesn't satisfy you physically in some way. Whatever it is you need to get a sound understanding of why you cheat if you hope to stop long enough to regain his trust.

Trust takes a long time to build and even longer to re-build, but it can be destroyed in an instant. Keep that always at the front of your mind until you've reached your goal. Good luck.

Answer 3

It may not be possible, so please prepare yourself for that possibility. In the meantime, live honorably and maybe your example will be witnessed and subsequently believed. Here's the thing though: The things that will be most convincing are the things you'll be observed doing when you don't know you're being watched. Keep that in mind. Stuff you do when you know you're being watched will likely be attributed to being a front for his benefit and carry very little if any weight whatsoever. Next, make a pact with yourself to remove lies from your arsenal altogether. That way whatever you do from that point forward will have a badge of truth associated with it, and will ultimately bring you greater satisfaction in life whether you're able to repair the damage to this particular relationship or not. Lastly learn to trust yourself, and learn to be worthy of your own trust...after which, everything else will take care of itself. Good luck with this; it's not easy but it's worth doing, and awareness of the problem is half the battle won.

Answer 4

Trust is not something you can "get back". The only way to gain someone's trust is by your actions and acting trustworthy. You have promised and then contradicted what you promised by doing the very things that make one not trust you.

Gaining his trust back may be possible but it will take time, and I don't mean days or weeks or months. Could be years.. or never. ACTIONS speak louder than WORDS. You have proven that to him.

I'm not sure it is possible to gain it back. Hope you've learned a valuable lesson here.

Answer 5

Ok, so I know you don't want to hear the things some people are telling you, I assume that you feel guilty for hurting your boyfriend and don't need a finger pointing from me. So here goes. Before you talk to him do some soul searching. Do you really want him back? If so can you control yourself enough to deserve his trust? If you can,, talk to him, tell him you know that he might not be ready to trust you but that your willing to wait. That you know he might need time but you are willing to give him that. If you love him let him know. Ask him to think about this one question. "Do you think we're worth fighting for?"
Again this is a difficult question cause he might say no and walk away. If he doesn't understand that you are going to need to show and prove. I can't say much more without knowing exactly what's wrong.

Answer 6

Sorry Brittani, I really don't think you will get his trust back, if you do it's gonna take a pretty long time. I guess you can start by keeping your promises and if you can't do it then might as well let him go and move on, cuz it doesn't seem like your ready to settle down with a serious relationship, if you really loved him you would think about his feelings first before crushing them.
Good luck!

Answer 7

You can't do a thing to speed up the process of earning trust. It's something that takes time. If you haven't lost it completely, since you seem to go against your word so much, just be true to him from now on and try doing little things for him that show him that you care about him.

Answer 8

Why do you keep doing the thinks to lose his trust? You obviously dont care enough about him to be honest with him. Learn from this expierence and move on cause if he can't trust you and youve put an effort to gain his trust back. I'm sorry but there is nothing you can do about it.

Answer 9

you sound kind of like Rihanna in Unfaithful

sorry to burst your bubble, but he may dump you. loosing trust in someone you like very much is a big blow on both people. here's some advice, though- 1) talk to him about how you feel about what you've done.
2) don't make promises you can't keep. 3) listen to your conscience. it tells you when or when not to do anything. it can be a very useful thing.

Answer 10

Well if he's still with you...you're lucky he's forgiving.

Anyway stop making promises you can't keep. And only make promises you can. And just start slowly.

There is the possiblity that maybe you have certain issues and maybe therapy is needed. And going could also show him you are trying.

Answer 11

Well, first off, you need to stop betraying him. That is really the only way to do it. But it will take a long time to gain his trust back. If you stick with it, eventually, he will begin to trust him again.