Yesterday I asked about my stepdaughter helping around the house. Here is some more details. I am the stepfather. She graduated from high school in May and has no ambition to seek employment. She will not help around the house unless her mother screams. She says she will get a job eventually, but she is in no hurry. She wants us to pay her cell phone bill and we said no and now it is shut off and she is mad at us. I think it is honestly time for her to get a LIFE REALITY check and find a new place to live. Her mother, naturally disagrees. What is YOUR advice on this one?
2006-07-26 06:19:12 · 8 answers · asked by caprikorn99 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She is an adult now and you all shouldn't be paying for anything if she has no ambition to go on to college or get a job. I would make her pay rent or she is out. In the real world you don't get to lay around all day and have your bills paid for, your laundry done, and meals fixed for you. It is unfortunate that her mother didn't start trying to show her this earlier in life.
Have your wife listen to Dr. Laura (www.drlaura.com to find radio station and broadcast times) as this question gets brought up alot. You could even call into the radio show and see what Dr. Laura tells you.
Mom doesn't realize she is doing more harm than good. But she has probably has been babying her daughter for quite some time now.
Best of luck to you. I know this has got to be hard on you.
2006-07-26 08:46:23 · answer #1 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
She does need a reality check and coming from a Step Family myself...it is hard to discipline the step kids w/o it being an argument or without someone saying "You aren't my Dad you don't tell me what to do."And for the record I was the step daughter saying that.You really need to sit down with your wife and talk to her and tell her that you BOTH need to be on the same page because she will sense discension in the ranks.She's old enough to understand that and manipulate her Mother to do what she wants her to do.Without you and your wife being on the same page this problem will never be resolved.If she doesn't cooperate then you need to put your foot down and give your step daughter rules and boundaries that she will not be able to cross and if she does let her know up front what the reprecussions are.Make her get a job and if she doesn't do not give her one cent.She is just taking a free ride and she will continue to do that until YOU as the head of the household put your foot down.It is imperative that you really let your wife know how her not really making her daughter do anything is causing so much stress. Once her daughter sees that you both are saying the same thing she may do either of two things....it may get worse because she may feel that her Mom is taking sides or she may cooperate and get a job and realize the importance of being an Adult..which legally she is.If she wants to be treated like one..she needs to act like one.And I do agree if she doesn't get herself together,then she does need to find somwhere else to live.I hope this helps.
2006-07-26 13:58:33 · answer #2 · answered by JW27 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick her out of the house that is a big reality check and send her on her way with her bags and a little bit of money like $200 and tell her good luck and call when she has found a place. that is what my parents did and i grew up real quick
2006-07-26 13:25:24 · answer #3 · answered by Kassie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is living under your roof then she has to abide by your rules. And that must mean that she gets a job to pay her way or she needs to find a place of her own.
You married her mother not her so you should not have to pay her way through life. Her mother must be made to understand or it is never going to get better.
2006-07-26 13:39:43 · answer #4 · answered by monkeyface 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there are more issues in this case.
I dont know the relationship that you and/or your wife has with your stepdaugther, and i dont know how long have u been in her life.
I think the only person who has the right to talk to this girl is the mother and they should have a private conservation without u first. Since i really dont know what are her feelings about u.
2006-07-26 13:26:48 · answer #5 · answered by Finy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her if she lives with you then she has to help around the house, help buy the groceries, and pay her own bills.
2006-07-26 13:22:58 · answer #6 · answered by Brittany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definatly, even her mother should realize this.
2006-07-26 13:22:49 · answer #7 · answered by OneDay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her mom to look at what she is dong which is nothing kick her *** out of the house!
2006-07-26 13:23:03 · answer #8 · answered by arielcowgirl_2010 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋