I have 3 kids and a stepson, so total 2 girls and 2 boys. They fight and cannot get along alot of the time. I have tried several things such as time out and so forth it doesnt work. any suggestions?
2006-07-26 05:31:46 · 8 answers · asked by Phyllis D 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Children fighting is the thing I hate most in the world. I have three kids and I've tried many different things.
The things that I've found work the best are:
1. Make the ones fighting do a chore together (and keeping doing chores until they can get along)
2. Have the fighters write a sentence, list, paragraph (depending on age, of course) about what they like, good traits of the other
3. Tell them to go into a room together until they can work it out and like each other again
4. Get both kids into such big trouble that instead of being mad at each other, they're mad at me and co-conspire about how mean Mom is, etc, etc.
Good luck to you!
2006-07-26 05:40:25 · answer #1 · answered by Mistress T 2 · 8⤊ 0⤋
Time out will only work if you insist it does. You have to stick to it no matter how tiring it is for you, they will get fed up eventually and stay put. You don't say what ages they are but if they are school age, work out a daily routine for them to do homework or any educational activity. Spend some time with them in the afternoon before supper doing something with them either indoors or out. This way they use all the energy they have instead of them diverting it on themselves. Stop any naps in the afternoon that way they will be ready to sleep after an active day.Give them little chores too. Sit down with them and tell them you have a set of rules now and you are serious about them- give them a list of consequences for breaking the rules such as time-out in a room. Teach them the importance of respecting each other.They will be too tired by the end of the day.
2006-07-26 12:44:28 · answer #2 · answered by VelvetRose 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My kids have to 'push' when they fight/argue/treat each other poorly. It's like p.t. kind of. They have less than a minute of sit ups, push ups, jumping jacks, 6 inches ( lying on their back raising thier legs 6 inches off the ground) etc. Not all consecutively. I'll pick 2 or 3 of those things. While they are doing that, they are thinking. It's enough to tire them some, plus, it gets their mind on how they are treating each other. They have nothing to do with that time but think. It's hard at first, they get frustrated, but after they are used to it, they hear the word 'push' and then they apologize to each other and instantly are nicer. It's great! Some sibling rivaly has to be allowed though. This is really only for major situations. Good luck!
2006-07-26 12:44:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that having the kids work together is a good idea. I really like to assign chores for misbehavior. For example, if my kids misbehave I will make them clean the living room. I will tell them exactly what needs to be done and that they have to stay in the room and work together until it is done. They have to divvy up the duties themselves. If the misbehavior is arguing with each other I will sometimes make them sit on the couch. The rule is they can't get up until they have figured out a solution to the argument. Of course, this does work better if the kids are close in age. I also try to talk about misbehavior issues when they aren't actually having the problem. Like when everyone is in a good mood we might discuss "what should you do if??? ( ex. your brother eats your snack) so maybe they will remember this more rational response when they are angry. Good luck. I know sibling issues are difficult.
2006-07-26 12:43:15 · answer #4 · answered by Jennifer J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 2 girls that are the same way. How old are they? Mine are 8 and 11. Making them do things together only make it worse because they blame each other and that starts another fight. The only thing that I have found that works for the moment is that I send them to bed and tell them to stay there untill they can behave. Then everytime they start a new fight I send them back to bed. They are getting better since they do like spending the summer days in bed. Good Luck
2006-07-26 13:17:15 · answer #5 · answered by lynda0322 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make them do chores that require "time together". they will hate doing the chore so much that they wont realize that they are spending time together. I think its normal for siblings to hate each other. My kids are 4 years apart and they have never gotten along. Im hoping someday they will.. Good luck
2006-07-26 12:37:03 · answer #6 · answered by sea_sher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's almost natural for kids to fight with their siblings...hm... one way you can make them spend time together is taking out the family in the weekends... organize a game that requires team, they'll have a good time, just don't let it end up in a fight.
2006-07-26 12:39:37 · answer #7 · answered by bwaygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my brother and i used to fight, what helps is if you seperate them and spend a little time with all of them at seperate times. Them take two at at time then 4...etc. be sure if you complement one, complement all, dont let any fell left out. then take a vote and do something then all can do toghter.
2006-07-26 12:37:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋