Two months ago we moved my daughter from a daycare she’d been at since she was six weeks old to a new facility. Both her dad and I have started new jobs (my schedule hasn’t changed, but my husbands is till fluctuating-he now has weekends off, where before he was off during the week). My daughter never had a problem going to the former facility—it was hard to pin her down and get a hug from her before she ran off to be with her friends. She has gotten super-sensitive since we’ve made the switch. Every morning she cries about not wanting to go to school—sometimes before we even get in the car to take her there! She will be starting kindergarten in 2 weeks and we are concerned about another switch. She’s gotten extremely sensitive about one of us leaving as well. She had separation anxiety when she was an infant, but this is worse than that. When I leave for work and she’s home with daddy she starts to cry. When my mom leaves to go home (she lives 10 minutes away) she cries.
2006-07-26 05:25:38 · 11 answers · asked by Jen-Jen 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
This morning I was taking the kids to school as my husband had to leave early. She went berserk and spent the next 10 minutes in her room crying—and then cried to daycare and pitched a fit when I left. We’ve talked to her a great deal about it and she just says she doesn’t like her school and wants every day to be a mommy or a daddy day (what we call the days when we are off with her)—her response is “I just want you/dad/my nana”. We’ve explained as best we can why we work, she can’t have us all the time, etc… We’ve tried super loving her, we’ve tried kissing goodbye and then leaving (drop and run method) but nothing is working and we are at our wits end… has anyone else gone through this with a slightly older child (non infant/toddler)? It’s even starting to affect my 10 month old—he starts to cry when she does
2006-07-26 05:25:49 · update #1
I'm a Kindergarten teacher and I experience this all the time. I had a student this year that was diagonised with having seperation anxiety. I would always find something for him to do in the morning that was only his job and it distracted him from the goodbyes. We never had any issues for the rest of the day and he was happy. I used to have him feed our hermit crabs or squirt them with water or I would have him come in and do little tasks that he enjoyed like rearranging the kitchen, etc. The important things is to let her teacher know, K teachers are very used to this and will know exactly what to do. It would be a good idea to go on a trial run through the school with her. Read the book "The Kissing Hand" to your daughter. It is a cute story about how whenever they miss each other they can hold their hand up to their cheek and it is like they are being kissed by mom or dad. I usually read this book on the first day of school.
2006-07-27 08:55:23 · answer #1 · answered by Serena 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
5 Year Old Separation Anxiety
2016-11-07 01:04:07 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son is 11 and still has mild separation anxiety but when he was 4,5,6 years old it was really bad. I hated leaving him and that probably didn't help matters if he felt my ambivalence about the situation too. But I worked because I had to at the time so I tried not to let the drama get under my skin. I would take him into his classroom, involve him in one of the morning activities, then kiss him goodbye and leave. It didn't help to linger so I just didn't. Also, I would drop my daughter who was less than 1 yr old off in her classroom before my son so that she didn't witness these episodes. To this day, she hasn't had an ounce of separation anxiety and (at 7 yrs of age) is pretty sure she's ready to make it on her own out in the big bad world.
2006-07-26 11:15:16 · answer #3 · answered by J 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IF the switch in daycare and the switch in jobs was both within a few weeks she might have had a hard time adjusting. With everything changing at once she probably lost her security in her day to day schedule. If the switch of day care wasn't to long ago maybe you could get intouch with some of her old friends. If her friends left in the switch she probably misses them. Her cring when you leave is probably due to the fact she is afraid that your not going to come back because your not leaving/coming home at the same time that you use to. [that may sound funny but my nephew suffered from that] When she goes to Kindergarten if it is possible you or your husband might want to take a few days off. It might sound weird but I think you should go to school with her for the first couple of days. No i don't think you should hold her hand but maybe introduce her to a few kids then sit back in the cornor and watch how the class works. She might want not want to sepreate from you but you have to make her. You sitting through her class will make her feel good, because she wont feel lonely. After a few days she will get use to the rutine and maybe find a few friends then you can leave her. SHe might cry but she will get use to it.
2006-07-26 07:42:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a teacher that had this with a nine year old. The child loved me, but had some real issues. All I can say is choose a method and stick with it. Do the drop and run, don't change to today I'll talk with you while you cry tomorrow I won't. Be consistant. It will get better.
2006-07-26 07:58:00 · answer #5 · answered by mlm1975 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my daughter was a baby, I didn't work. When she was 2 1/2, I decided to go back to work. She has the same trouble with separation anxiety... I would give her something that was important to me and tell her she needed to hold on to it until I got home. She knew I would come back simply because I left her with something she knew I needed. Usually I gave her my library card or something equally important from my purse. I seemed to work well... she grew out of it eventually.
2006-07-28 03:28:12 · answer #6 · answered by Mary J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your lab is chewing through metal thats not good. It may not be right but there coud be a more underlying issues not just the seperation disorder. You may need to take molly to the vet and ask for help. But have you may be able to find a doggie day care in your area if you can afford it. I know my dads dog had the same thing but when we werent around she just wouldnt eat or anything like that. Try to maybe also try playing with her more if yo uhave the time. More so if she is still a baby. Its tough but labs are THE BEST!!!!!!!!
2016-03-16 05:44:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some kids are very sensitive to change. Most children thrive under strict routines and schedules. Try your best to get a steady schedule and routine going, even if it is a new one. She will adjust in time. All kids have their own "transition" time. She might adjust in 2 weeks or in 2 months. But whatever the time frame, keep the routine the same if you can...... right down to who comes to visit and when. Kids find comfort in that....knowing what's to come.
2006-07-26 06:57:27 · answer #8 · answered by paintgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her teacher first of all. Maybe this is just not the daycare for her. I know as a parent, this is a huge concern. Call in late to work and spend a couple of hours with her when you drop her off. Try to coordinate with the teacher and take baked goodies, have your daughter help hand them out. Maybe she just needs a little friend to make things easier.
2006-07-26 05:51:09 · answer #9 · answered by saucylatina 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your child has realized that he/she is alone, is his/her own person. This causes her distress and the need to want to reconnect with familiar things such as her old friends and her parents. All she needs is refueling.
Don't feel guilty. She just needs time to adjust. Keep up the little talks and encoragement.
2006-07-26 05:35:29 · answer #10 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋