What would you do in this case:?

Question

i am caring for an uncle who is sick and on dialsis and in the endding stage,he is become more hard to deal with i have nurse coming in to help but he talk so bad to them and me... my grandmother got he when he was 3 year old and he has live most of his life in jail, for one reason or another. he is 58 and been in jail for 55of them. he like hurttng other feeling. i'm thinking putting him out in a home because of his way.but he is family no matter how he came into the family. i have put my life on hold for him and he care less about that.he keep me up all night and laugh about it, and will go into things and try to fight you. here the state feel that if thay have taking care of you for year there nothing they will do so all he need come from me and my husband, food clothes everything would you put up with his way, i have for three year and i'm tired.he hate the idea of a home but how much more do i put up with. feeling out done

Answer 1

the essence of family is not merely that you are related by blood, but that the members have this natural affinity for each other. if the latter is NOT the case, what is he to you but a spiteful stranger?

before you make that decision to put him in a home, take the time to do some critical introspection, try to see where everyone is coming from (including him), but most importantly, yourself. in whatever degree, despite our best intentions, we see things through tinted glasses.

i would like to think that the root of many problems lie with misunderstanding and miscommunication. is it at all possible to have a channel of communication with him? is he misinterpreting your good intentions?

Answer 2

You should confront him. My grandmother is also in a similar situation, once in awhile she gets a little testy. I simply tell her that she cannot treat others bad because no one else would put up with that or continue to take care of her if she mistreats them. I would tell him to stop acting that way. Don't sugar coat it, just tell the truth. If you put him in a home and he acts like this, he will probably get abused because of his attitude. So at least give him the chance to straighten up before you do it. If he doesn't, then you are within your rights. It is hard caring for another dependant person, so I commend you. Keep the faith!

Answer 3

Since you have said that it is the end stage and how long more can he live.......A sick person's behaviour is very unpredictable and unbearable too because they are so frustrated with their own live and that caused them to behave in a bad manner. When a person has a renal failure the toxic level in their body can also caused them to hallucinate and thus their behaviour is also affected. Shower him more love and you will feel better when he is gone and you will not regret for not bearing with him. Whenhe is gone you will feel that "fortunately I have tolerate him...afterall only that last few years he had .....or fortunately I have taken care of him and he have lived a little while longer...."

Answer 4

Have you tried using that as a threat like telling him you can't take the way he's treating you any more and that you will soon begin looking into homes for him...most people like him who have been in jail that long that is the only life they know they don't really know how to act in the real world

Answer 5

.
You are being USED and ABUSED by this man; and he will only get worse.
You've reached the end of the patience, and it is starting to affect you and your family badly.

You need to worry about you and your family, and how you can manage your own lives...
you do not need to worry so much about his old mean and hateful jail bird anymore.

Let him go to the hospital for care, and then to a home...he's dying anyway, and he needs professional care. You are no equiped to care for hm well enough, in these last stages.

Be careful...ask the doctor to put him on HOSPICE care

Take care of your own family
stw
).

Answer 6

Not sure what he was doing in jail at age 3, but it sounds like he could give a lesser fu** that people are caring for him. Ask him what he wants. Maybe he just wants to be alone. If that's the case, take him to a home and let him live his life alone...

I wouldn't know though... maybe you should drop him off at the hospital.

Answer 7

I would put him in the home. They are better equipped to deal with his needs and are used to the occasional abusive patient. There is only so much you can give without getting anything back from a person. Even a sick and dying person can be friendly and appreciative.

Answer 8

That is very Noble, thank you for taking care of another human.

Personally, I feel that family business should be handled by the family. That is the way I was raised.

Myself in that situation I would continue to aid the human and ask other family members to assist.

A part of reality is that there are humans that need help, and those that can help. What kind are you?
There is no us and them, we are all just humans.

Answer 9

You have done enough and he doesn't appreciate it. Put him in a home and let it go. You did your best. It sounds like he has some kind of mental disorder, possibly the beginning of Alzheimer's. Talk to his Dr. But you shouldn't feel guilty because he has made it too difficult for you.

Answer 10

I think you should put him out in a home, just to teach him a lesson. If you put you life on hold to help him out then he should make things a little better. Put him in a home and go on with your life. He will be begging for you to come and get him. I guarantee.