so we got the wedding invitations but my parents names aren't on it !?

Question

I ask my wife to be is this right and she said her family was paying for the wedding and my parents were divorced, and that would take up to many lines, But arent the grooms parents supposed to be on the invitation ?

Answer 1

Subject: invitation ettiquette
Question: should both families be on the wedding invitations? My parents are paying for the wedding. Fiance's parents are divorced how do we handle the writing if they have to be on the invitation?
From: Cheryl Kennedy
Response: Karen, the choice to include both families is yours. There is no mandatory rule on this. However, if you choose to include the groom parents which is actually a very nice gesture here is a sample wording:
Mr. and Mrs. Charles Brown
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Karen Marie
to
Jacob Michael Linder
son of Mr. Harvey Linder
and Ms. Teresa name she currently goes by
on Saturday, the twentieth of May
Two-thousand
at five o'clock in the evening
Windsor Hyatt
address

or something like:
Mr. and Mrs. Charles Brown
and Mr. Harvey Linder
and Ms. Teresa Chapone
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their children
Karen Marie
and
Jacob Michael Linder
etc.
Personally, I prefer the first example. The second seems too wordy. I hope this has helped.
Cheryl Kennedy
Presidential Party Planners
www.prespartyplanners.twoffice.com

Answer 2

It's not a family tree or pedigree. It's an invitation to an event.

The people who belong on the invitation are the bride, groom, and anyone serving as HOSTS for the wedding. It sounds like in your case the parents of the groom are not part of the "hosting team." This is, by the way, the most traditional way to do invitations-- parents of the groom are very often not on invitation because parents of bride normally are the wedding hosts. What she did is perfectly acceptable.

Answer 3

Both sets of parent's names should be on the invitation and if parents are divorced their names as well as the names of their current spouse should be on the invitations. It doesn't matter who is paying for the wedding. You should have a serious chat with her because that just sounds lowdown and dirty to me. Does she have a problem with your parents? If she doesn't fix this then I'm sure your parents are going to be very hurt and it can cause a long term problem for all of you. I'm sorry but what she did is not right.

Answer 4

It's supposed to be the names of the people hosting the wedding, which would be her parents since they're paying for it. But, it would have been nice of her to include your parents. Mine are divorced and it didn't take up any more lines than if they were together. It went something like this:

Jane Doe, daughter of John Doe and Jane Jones, and Jack Smith, son of Jim and Ruth Smith, would like to invite you to share in their joy....blah blah blah

It doesn't take up any more room to do it that way. It is a nice way to show respect to both parents, and step parents don't need to be included. But, if you've all ready received the invitations, they are probably not going to fix that for free. Your fiance should have showed you the invitation wording before she okayed it.

Answer 5

Nowadays, the wording on the invitations can include or not include a lot of things. Our invitations only listed my parents on it as that's how I wanted it and my fiance agreed. However, it wouldn't have taken that much more space to put your parents' names on it. What's two more teeny lines anyway? Your bride-to-be should have been more thoughtful and considerate towards your opinion. After all, it is your wedding, too! Regardless of who's paying for it.

Answer 6

I hope that if nothing else this showed you to be more involved in the planning because I assume it's too late to change things anyway! It depends on the couple, a lot of couples are different, but traditionally only the bride's parents are on the invitation because they are the "hosts" - because they're paying. However, that is not to say that you should automatically leave your parents off. It's the kind of decision a couple should make together. Good luck!

Answer 7

Parent's names don't neccessarily have to be on the invite. But if her parent's names are on it, it's only polite to include your parent's names too.

My fiance and I had a similar problem. Though our parent's aren't helping pay for our wedding, we still wanted to acknowledge them. His parents are divorced so if we were to put everyone's names on there it would have taken up too much space. Our solution was to have our invites say:

"Together with their parents,
Miss. Jane Doe
&
Mr. John Q. Public
Request the honor of your presence."

It mentions our parents, though not by names, and it only takes a line. If you really feel strongly about having your parents mentioned on the wedding invitation, you should talk to your bride-to-be and have the invitations reprinted. It's not about who's parents are paying for it.

Answer 8

It makes sense to have either both sets of parents or none listed on the invitation. However, it shouldn't be too big of an issue to put divorced parents on the invitation. I did, both mine and my husband's. If you are not using any parents, that is acceptable, just not traditional. Happy wedding.

Answer 9

With so many different types of families now a days, you have the option to not have your parents names on it. We had a small wedding and we were paying for it so we did not have our parents names on it. It's our wedding.

Answer 10

Not necessarily. Traditionally, if the bride's parents are paying, it is technically them throwing the wedding and reception and therefore inviting the people to attend, so only their names would be on it. However, it is a nice gesture to include both sets of parents.