My 2 year old daughter is biting other kids at daycare, what should I do?

Question

My daughter is going to a really good daycare. I got a phone call from them yesterday that she bit other children 3 times. What should I do about it? She is at the age where it is hard for her to understand. I took some of her toys away. Does anyone have any ideas? PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

I know this is gonna sound awful but this works, My niece was biting kids her her daycare alot. My sister's mother in law told her to bite her on her arm and explain to her, See this hurts right, you dont like how this feels, you should'nt do it to anybody else. I thought the idea was stupid but it worked. I guess if she feels the pain of the bite then she knows how it feels when she's doing it to other kids and wont do it anymore. Needless to say my niece isn't biting anymore. Hope this helps. I have a 3 yr old he hasn't started biting yet, I guess I'll have to wait and see if I have to do this to him.

Answer 2

I think it's funny that some people are advising NOT to bite back but telling you to spank her, it is still trying to solve the problem with pain. Makes no sense.

A two year old lacks the verbal skills to say what is bothering them. This is what they do. Did you ask WHY she bit the other kids? Was it because someone took a toy away? Was it because someone was bugging her? There must be a reason, generally kids don't bit for fun.

In all my years of working with kids, which is alot, I would use language that is appropriate for the age group. You can't reason with a two year old, they don't understand. But saying "OUCH! That hurts." is a pretty clear message. Also giving her something else to bite when she is frustrated is always a good idea, that way she will learn what is okay to bite and what is not.

My son is now eight and only bit a few times, out of frusration. He was very articulate at a young age, but in the heat of the moment they aren't going to rationalize. I told him teeth were for biting food, not people :)

Bottom line, talk to the daycare and find out the cause and then together a solution can be found.

Answer 3

I recently had this problem with my 18mth old. The way I dealt with it was by firmly saying 'no' and then fussing the other child, if it was over a toy then giving the toy to the other kid, 'time out' on a chair for a few minutes....basically giving no reward at all to the behaviour.

This could be a little difficult if you are not there though. Do you know why she's biting? My son used to bite as a reaction to bigger older kids trying to take his toy, push him around etc. It was his way of saying 'back-off'. How are the carers at daycare responding to it? Are they making a huge fuss? If they are it could be an attention thing? I think if it's only something that is going on at daycare then maybe they need to look for the cause. It's something that she should grow out of though...once you know the reason for it you can help her to react better.

BTW my son seems to have stopped biting now....he only does it when he is REALLY wound-up. Good luck.

Answer 4

You are going to have to be firm in addressing the issue right away. Visiting her at daycare definitely helps. Giving her a very firm no and VERY stern eye contact is key in letting her know at this age that her behavior is very unacceptable. Make sure you give a time out removing her from the area were the offense is committed Also after the incident has had time to cool down make sure you address the issue again in a nurturing way that she has to change the behavior.
If you don't nip this in the bud right now you can expect her to face hepatitis testing and or rabies testing depending on the daycare, suspension until those results come in, expulsion from daycare for a second offense, and possible lawsuits from the parents or payments of their child's medical expenses! GOD LUCK!

Answer 5

Don't bite her back or take away a toy! These are not logical or natural consequence. They will not work! Go and observe her at daycare if you can. When you see her bite, rush to that person and empathize. "Ouch! That must have hurt! I'm so sorry that happened to you. Let's get some ice to put on that sore!" Shut your daughter completely out. She will not like the feeling. Have the "victim" say to her "I don't like when you bite me! I'm not going to play with you if you are going to bite." It is a very powerful message coming from another child. If you cannot go to the daycare, invite another child home and do this there.

Try and be on call with the daycare staff. As soon as she bites a child have them call you and get her right away. Tell her "If you are going to bite you cannot be at daycare." Have a really boring rest of the day. You may want to keep her out another day to enforce the message. Tell her "You can't go to daycare if you are going to bite." If she likes going, she will learn to stop biting.

When you daughter is calm, talk with her about the incident. "You must have been really (mad, angry, upset, frustrated, hurt) when you bit (Emma). What can you do next time instead of biting?" She will soon learn to better express herself rather than bite. Good luck!

Answer 6

My 16 month old daughter hit me after going to daycare for a few days. She understands it is wrong.
You have to admonish the biting and model good behaviour.
Get the daycre setting to do the same.
Most children do it for a little while, just another way of testing the boundries.

No point in taking her toys away, she's too young for that, you need a cross face/voice and pause and then lots of love


DO NOT HIT or BITE HER! I could list you book after book, study after study, expert afeter expert that will tell you that hitting a child will only show them that violence is an exceptible means of communication. This is the opposite of what you want to achieve.

To add further, It seems obvious that to stop her biting making sure you do not use violence or agression around her is the way to go. (I am sure you don't anyway.)
To further this, children can have their empathy modelled too, if you want her to be kind to others make a point of teaching it, we did this with our daughter, we used the dogs, dolls, toy cars, anything.
We would hold the dolly and srtoke it saying 'good dolly, love the dolly' We helped her feed dolly and dress dolly, now she strokes other children on the head or pats them lovingly, she gives toys to other children instead of taking them.

Teach her to be nice, you do not help empathy develop by bniting her like some fool suggested

Answer 7

biting is a way to communicate anger and frustration. Toddlers express their anger by biting rather than by verbal communication.

Stop the child with a firm NO! Then place her in a crib, playpen or chair for a determined amount of time. Do not let her out no matter how much crying and screaming she does. After a couple of these experiences she will get the message. What is critical however, is that parents are consistent in that they punish the child everytime they bite.

The child will learn from the Time-Out method as long as you are firm and consistant. She will learn that biting is unacceptable and that it will not go unpunished. Parents will also be a good role model by not biting their child back.

Answer 8

At her age taking her toys away when she gets home wont make any difference because she wont know why its happening, at 2 it needs to be an immediate response and a consistent one, have the day care center suggested anything? You could suggest that if she does it again that they say no firmly and sit her on a chair for 2 minutes (have you seen super nanny?) its an idea if they are willing to do this then you need to do the same at home if she bites there she will soon get the message and remember its quite natural for little kids to bite.

Answer 9

this is common for kids at daycare. They seem to learn bad habits from other kids easily. Discipline and be consistant. At 3 she can understand that biting is wrong. Hopefully the teacher is using time out or another acceptable form of discipline at the time it happens. Discuss this with the daycare worker and try to work together for a solution.

Answer 10

Ive read alot of the answers that others are gining you and the "biting back", as harsh as it might seem, is the best solution. I have 4 kids, two of them went to daycare and I had to deal with my children being the victim of the bites. I told them that if the other child bit them again they were to bite the child back. It didn't happen but one or two more times. I told the daycare workers that if they couldn't take care of it, that my children were not going to keep being biten!!! I told them that I would wait there and meet the parents of the other child (he was biting alot of the children) but they acked me not to cause any conflict, so I told them that was the way my kids were going to handle it!!!

Answer 11

As a preschool teacher for 20 years...I would first talk to her about how things hurt and that she needs to use her words when she wants something. If she is biting then she is probably using other forms of physically getting her way...I'm assuming this is about the "mine" thing that age is obsessed with. Use every opportunity to have her show compassion for someone that is hurt. Use ever opportunity that she is hurt to point out that it probably hurts like it hurt her friend when she bit them. If all else fails....unfortunately...you may have to do something unethical like bite her to show her how it feels. And ya didn't hear that from me. But first please try as many avenues as you can. Also, the daycare can refuse to allow the child to be there if she gets too out of hand. Do what you can as soon as you can. Just use common sense.