i am 24, just had my second girl, should i get my tubes tied?

Question

i am scheduled to get my tubes tied on monday... i am having second thoughts

Answer 1

I don't know you. I'll issue that caveat right now. I don't know your personality. I don't know your wants and desires. I don't know your tolerance levels. Keep that in mind as I answer--what I say to you may not even apply to you.

Personally, I think having your tubes tied is a good idea. You've had two kids. With modern medicine doing such wonders for our longevity, you've helped maintain a positive population growth already.

Each of your children has a sibling, so they will not be lonely growing up (though an only child isn't necessarily a lonely child). You have a good core for a family, and odds are likely both of your children will grow to adulthood. This isn't the 16th century where you try to have as large of a family as possible to cover your bases when babies die off.

These children are your blood. I know that some people prefer having their own children. This is why orphanages are so full. Many parents don't want just someone else's baby; they want to conceive their own. You have done this already.

So, if you get your tubes tied and decide you want another child, you can seek out adoption. So many children have been abandoned out there, and they need parents. Rather than produce a third child, you would make me happy if you took the burden of adopting one of the many unwanted children out there.

And having your tubes tied would mean completely uninhibited sex with your husband (if you're married) with no condom to reduce the sensation and no pills to hijack your hormones. It also means no unexpected pregnancy when you're not ready for a third child.

In the end, it depends on how you feel. Maybe you are financially stable enough to support more children later. Maybe the urge to produce your own child is just too strong for you. Maybe everything I said just plain doesn't apply to you. But if they do, then I would suggest having your tubes tied. You can always make up for it later through adoption.

Side note: I find it troubling in our society that we simultaneously have a waiting list for parents seeking to adopt and a surplus of orphans. These two events should not occur at once.

Edit: I see suggestions that you try a vasectomy first. I had just assumed that you examined this option but deemed it impractical for whatever reason (such as being a single mother or having a stubborn mate). If you haven't pursued this avenue before, I suggest doing this first, especially if he refuses to do it because he doesn't want a knife near his tallywhacker. Tell him to stop being such a baby.

Answer 2

I too was considering having my tubes ties after This baby. ( It is my 4th baby) I spoke with my doctor about it and she told me that because I was so young (25) she would advise my hubby getting snipped. I asked why and she told me, in her experience, that when a women is younger than 28 the chances of still getting pregnant are pretty high due to the high fertility of a young women. She also said she wont do it in the hospital. You have to get it done at your 6 week check up. That means you heal from having your baby then have to heal all over again. My mom had her tubes tied and still hasn't had a hysterectomy. And that was 25 years ago. I would advise that you look into all types of sterilization if that is what you are sure you want to do. It is much easier for the man to get snipped. It is an outpatient thing. For a women it is a major surgery. Besides, like I tell my hubby, I went through all of these pregnancies for you, this is the least you can do. Good luck and I hope you find what will work best for you!

Answer 3

If you have second thoughts about anything you shouldn't do it. Just get on birth control until you are 100% that getting your tubes tied is the right thing for you. Considering you are thining about getting them tied I'm assuming you don't want anymore children. However, I think you should give it time. You are still young and you have 10 more good years to think about having a child and who knows in that time you might change your mind and then it'll be too late.

Answer 4

Do you want more children? Are you sure you can handle more children?
Most women feel the same way. Chances are you've already made an informed decision and are just worried it's the wrong one now. We all go through that.
For me the choice was made for medical reasons. Sometimes I wish it hadn't been so. But there are more times that I am glad that I can't have more children. Financially, having more then two for most people is a nightmare. I would say be happy with what you have. If you change your mind down the road you can always get a reversal. Yes, it costs money. But if you have to pay to get it done, it will have been by design instead of by surprise. For no children are mistakes or accidents.

Answer 5

Absolutely not! What if you decide that you would like another years later? Are you doing this b/c some else thinks you should or is it b/c you really want to? You have to take things like that into consideration. I have 5 children and 1 on the way. My fam suggested that I get my tubes tied after my 3rd. I got married 2yrs later and now have 2 more for my husband. You never know what life has in-store for you. Live life and be merry.

Answer 6

If you are having second thoughts, then don't do it! PERIOD!

Too many people think that this operation can be reversed later. For all practical purposes, it should be considered to be a permanent operation. (More on that bit later, down below.)

In my opinion, mothers should not get their tubes tied UNLESS they are absolutely, positively certain that they will nevereverever want more kids! That means that if one of your kids should meet with a tragedy, you won't change your mind and want a reversal. That means that if you and your husband divorce, and you meet another man, you will not change your mind and want to make a baby with HIM. That means that NO MATTER WHAT tragedies fate hands you, you will not change your mind.

Unless you can absolutely, with complete confidence, say that you will nevereverever change your mind, then don't do it.

Answer 7

if you are having second thoughts don't do it. yo can't turn around and undo it. (well you can but it's really expensive). Try some other type of birth control until you are sure that you don't want more kids in the future. 24 is awful young. you never know what will happen in the next 20 years.

Answer 8

If ur Not sure than Don't do it. get on the pill or the Patch. U are only 24. u may really want more kids someday w/ The man u Love. Would u deprive urselves of That joy?

Answer 9

I would unless you are wanting another little one. I would only want two and that is what I agreed with my husband but yet right now jut being able to have one would be great. I can't have kids so be blessed. I know you are just saying take a deep breath and do what you think is best.

Answer 10

Nopers, you're young. What if 10 years down the line you want a third baby. A vasectomy is a much simpler operation and is less invasive. Also there are lots of other birthcontrol options. This is only my opinion tho. :]