i recently got a protection order against my husband who has been abusive. how do i explain sudden disappearance of his father to my son? my son is so close to his dad since he is unemployed and stays home most of the time.
the protection order inhibits my husband from being in contact with me and my son.
2006-07-26 03:22:49 · 29 answers · asked by travlin soul 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He is 7 - is is smart enough to be told the truth! Keep out all the details but don't lie to him, explain to him that this is not something that you had hoped for and that sometimes people that fight do things they will later regret and your helping his father to not be able to do things he will later regret. Never under estimate a child - they are VERY smart and pick up lies and subtle changes. Good luck!
2006-07-26 03:26:36 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How mature is your son? has he ever witnessed the abuse? has your son been abused by your husband? if he is mature, and knows about the abusive behavior, then maybe you should think about talking with him straight forward.
if your son isn't mature enough,. and doesn't have any idea about what has been happening,.. then leave it as daddy had to go away for a bit,.. no benefit to telling your son this if he's not aware of it,..
Whatever you do,.. don not talk negatively about his father,. that will do nothing but create hostility one way or another here!
this is a good time to get into Church if you are not already. Prayer and faith are two very powerful tools you have at your disposal!!
Hope this helps!
2006-07-26 10:36:08 · answer #2 · answered by pjtrptpjt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would imagine your son has witnessed the abusive behavior...and to let it continue without corrective consequences would be wrong....just let your son know that Dad can't be mean the way he is and has to learn to be a nicer person before he can be with both of you again...he probably will ask why...so tell him the truth...your tired of being abused...be specific, so he understands what he has seen is the wrong thing to do...that way he himself will learn not to do that and if your husband should return to the home and continue such behavior it won't be much of a shock that you and your son leave him all together.
2006-07-26 10:31:21 · answer #3 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to be as honest and as open as you can be, explain things, and then answer whatever questions your son might raise.
The main thing is to ensure that he understands violence and abuse are wrong and that for your protection the courts made this decision.
Try not to portray his dad as the bad guy, but at the same time make sure your son is aware that this is for his protection too, and that in this type of situation there are never any clear 'winners'.
2006-07-26 10:29:43 · answer #4 · answered by Eden* 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth as could be understood by a 7 yr old......
daddy wasn't very nice to mommy, so daddy needs to stay away for awhile, and daddy needs to get some help for his anger issues.
If your son asks more questions, just answer them in simple terms without bad mouthing dad (courts look down on that).
2006-07-26 10:29:30 · answer #5 · answered by vw4meee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You tell him the truth no matter how much you think he won't understand you tell him in a way that your not lying to him because in the future he will find out the truth and he will get mad at you for not telling him so to save yourself from that you tell your son the truth in a way that he can understand.He may deny it and get mad at you but you is all he has so he will eventually come running to you with open arms that are full of love and joy.That will last a life time.
2006-07-26 10:28:41 · answer #6 · answered by Dawn Jeniy M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him the truth or at least a sanitised version tell him his father still loves him but is being bad and your worried its a crap situation same sort of thing happened to me, one thing though (&sorry i dont mean to offend but just in case you would) try not to bad mouth the dad in front of your son hes already heard a lot and probably knows there is something not right good luck its going to be a rough ride for a while but will get better (my kids were both younger )
2006-07-26 10:34:47 · answer #7 · answered by corinna g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you tell him truth but also explain that he is not the cause for any of the problems and that it is not because his father doesn't love him. Encourage other forms of communication between him and his dad. They even have parentally controlled cell phones that can be used for this type of situation. I'm sure this is a very difficult scenario for you and I wish you the best of luck!
2006-07-26 10:30:55 · answer #8 · answered by Pamela S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son should understand disciipline. He should know when he misbehaves he won't be rewarded. Tell him it is the same with adults, they do not get rewarded if the act badly. It's a tough situation. You're not the villian but your husband would like to make you one. Show your son how much you love him and that it is not your fault or his fault that his father misbehaves. counseling might help.
2006-07-26 10:28:25 · answer #9 · answered by doktordbel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I'm sorry for both you & your son for having to be in this situation. I think I would say that Daddy is taking a short break so that he can learn to control his temper and then when he is done, you'll be able to see him and have more fun than ever? Good luck to you all.
2006-07-26 10:26:30 · answer #10 · answered by savagescorpio 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋