Long story short, she's still friends with her ex. I told her I was uncomfortable with her talking to him even as friends. Her response was, "please don't force me into choosing you over my friends". I told her I wanted to meet him, she told me she asked him and he's uncomfortable meeting me. She hung out with him a few days later, "I made plans with him today". She tells me that if she wanted to be with him then she wouldn't be with me. We've been dating for 2 years now and I think she should get passed him and move on with us (even if he is a friend) but it doesn't seem like she's willing to let go. I'd hate to loose her, but because of him it doesn't seem like she's as serious about this relationship as I am. Am I wrong to think this way? Any suggestions?
2006-07-26 03:18:56 · 17 answers · asked by mike! 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think you're wrong feeling the way you do (even though jealosy rarely leads to anything except nauseousness) - that would bug me too.
I can't think of any (non-harsh) suggestions at the moment though, except for telling her how you feel about it and deciding what you are willing to tolerate.
2006-07-26 03:23:31 · answer #1 · answered by DizzyG 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not just a friend, he's an ex who is now a "friend". Either way the fact that you cant meet him speaks volumes. Its not something I would EVER put up with. How would she feel if you made plans with your ex gf and she wasn't allowed to meet her ? She is being totally unreasonable and selfish. If I was you I would give this whole relationship another look. You've been with her 2 yrs and she is not taking your feelings into consideration and she is hanging out with an ex you cant meet. What's gonna be next ? And will she care how you feel ? I dont think so.
2006-07-26 03:28:34 · answer #2 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has her ex decided that he is gay? If that is the case you have nothing to worry about, but him not being comfortable with meeting you!!!! He has other thoughts... He is trying to reel her back in and she is allowing him to, to a certain degree.... she loves you but she really enjoys the attention she is getting from him which I am willing to bet, he never gave her while they were together. You asking her to let him go, is natural.... your asking her to choose you or her FRIENDS, you are asking her to let her ex go and to move on with you in your future together. If you break it off with her, she will prob just persue a relationship with him again.... and she will be miserable... there is a reason why the relationship didn't work before and it isn't going to work now... only she don't see that. I would let her go, her hanging onto him is a sign that she is not ready for a real one on one relationship and is in no way ready to take your relationship to the next level.... if you are ready to find the 'ONE', then I would send her packing and the 'ONE' will be waiting around the corner in your life for you. Sorry buddy, she isn't it.
2006-07-26 03:29:51 · answer #3 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy is very tricky~ It does not seem like to me she has anything going on. She is very big about still being friends. U can not tell her to not to speak to him or to see him. A relationship is built on trust. U have to want to be with a person. She tells you she is seeing this person and not hiding anything. I do not blame her boyfriend for not wanting to meet you. Its not like he has too. Why do you want to meet him? Cause he is now hanging with your girl? But its his ex. U just need to chill before you push her away~ And once we are fed up its no turning back~ Let her want to introduce you but if you keep being persistent then it will go the other way, (out the door).
2006-07-26 03:24:15 · answer #4 · answered by HotPucci220 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your GF has been with you for two years, depending on the details of your relationship of course, I think you can be pretty much sure she doesn't want to get back with her ex-BF. Their relationship probably just ended in good terms- that's all. When you ask her to stop seeing her old friend she might just feel you should trust her and that's why she won't stop her contact with him.
2006-07-26 03:24:55 · answer #5 · answered by greatgurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't tell you what she is REALLY doing but honestly i dont hang around my ex's for that perticular reason. Feelings do come back rather the person likes it or not. She should respect you enough to not talk to him if she keeps talking to him and wont respect your wishes i would wonder alot and do alot of research and questioning. Women can be very scandelous...i know i did this to my ex....it's bad i know but believe me.... if she wanted to be with you then she should know how you feel and not talk to him. But that is just my opinion and ive screwed up already trying to make my ex thing i didnt have feelings for another ex boyfriend
2006-07-26 03:23:11 · answer #6 · answered by kkds14 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she still wants to be friends with him, then its possible that she still has feelings for him. I wouldn't trust it. Ask her how would she feel if u hung out with ur ex. If she really cares about u, then she should respect ur feelings, and stop hanging out with him. I guess u can't stop her from being his friend, but hanging out together without u, NO! He is probably trying to get her back. Well good luck!
2006-07-26 03:25:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's getting pissed and the relationship is suffering it's because you are forcing her to choose. Personally I get jealous but if she reassures you time and time again that they're just friends, chances are that they're just friends. I agree with her that if she wanted to be with him, it would've happened by now. I'm assuming she was friends with him before you two started dating 2 years ago. You came into this relationship knowing that he was there. You'll just have to get passed it..
2006-07-26 03:22:57 · answer #8 · answered by stowchick01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a tough one...my best advice is this...does she turn you over for him? what i mean is, does she choose him OVER you, like, if you had plans, would she cancel them to be with him? if this is the way it is, it doesnt look good...what was their relationship like, were they close, or just kinda friends who kissed once in awhile? all things to consider, but just try talking to her, tell her you are uncomfortable with it, and if she loves you, shell understand, and be with you. if not, maybe shes not the best for you, you dont wanna settle. something better could always come around if this doesnt work out.
2006-07-26 03:25:02 · answer #9 · answered by Erin P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are wrong. Even though she is still friends with her ex, don't be insecure and think she messing around or something is going on between them because they are just friends. Just don't worry about it, and when he sees that you are calm nd not worying about them spending innocent time together, then he will eventually feel comfortable meeting you.
2006-07-26 03:26:04 · answer #10 · answered by nooknook92 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋