My 2 y.o. daughter's father is not involved and mine wasn't either when I was younger (we now have a GREAT relationship). I fear what her perception of men may be in the future. I also wonder if she will be equipped to make good relationship decisions having not seen one for herself. (I have not dated in a year and plan not to). I feel like I can intelligently counsel her on self-esteem, valuing her body and how a man should treat her but is it enough? What's your take on this??? BTW, I don't men bash nor do I hate her father or men in general.
2006-07-26 03:11:28 · 8 answers · asked by treasures320 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It will affect her, childhood environment play a very important part of each adult life. As long as you're supportive, show unconditional love and teach self-esteem and good principles she would be okay.
If you are able to guide her well (and it sounds like you can) your daughter may not need a man in her life to succeed. And I don't mean she does not need men at all (just to succeed).
She has a real chance of growing up independent, self sufficient and responsible. This can be intimidating to men so at some point she has learn how to make them feel comfortable. You may want to enlist the help of a male friend or relative to help in that area.
I know this because I was raised without a father in the home and my daughter was raised the same way for a part of her childhood (I was divorced after 10 years of marriage).
I do not think the absence of my father is responsible for major issues in my life. Neither do I dwell on negative instances in my childhood. I did/do very well without him. I'm pretty much a laid-back, content person.
2006-07-26 03:29:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would say it affected me a lot. But my mother had a big part in that too. She was the kind of person that would destroy your self esteem rater than build you up. So that didn't help. She also was a BIG man hater and that had some negative effects.
Sounds like your on the right track and I think a positive influence will make a world of difference. If she sees that you except to be treated well than she'll grow up expecting that for her self.
I'm a single mom of girls and even though there father is a very big part of their life I feel I've set a bad example for them by dating men that don't treat me well. Their father also obsesses about his girl friends and that sets a bad example as well.
It sounds like your on the right track a heck of a lot earlier than I was. Just keep of the good work and do what you can. That's all you can do at the end of the day.
2006-07-26 03:33:07 · answer #2 · answered by Dizz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I grew up with a father and I wish I hadn't. My father was very abusive to my mom and us. My mother also bashed my father and all other men. Saying that all men just want sex no matter if it was mold growing from it. Which in alot of cases that is too true. I went through several guys trying to find a good one. I thought that there was no one out there that was good. I met my husband and everything changed. He showed me what a real man was. They are only a few good men out there. So this perception of men is easily taken in, especially when they act like jerks, without you having to bash them. My feelings have not changed about other men. 99.9% are DOGS. My husband even says so. I do think you are doing right. Give her self-esteem, teach her she doesn't have to rely on a man for anything, and when she has guy problems, help her through it. I think everything will turn out okay at the end. Good luck.
2006-07-26 03:26:58 · answer #3 · answered by Xena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My situation was a little different. I'm a firm believer of a child doesn't really need anything as long as it has one loving parent. Growing up my parents were together and still are. I had a horrible childhood all because of my father. He was abusive physically and verbally.
I remember always saying it would have been much better without him. There were times when some of my friends complained that their fathers weren't around and I would tell them to consider them selves lucky.
Truth is, I know ANY child would rather not have a father around then to have one around that was anything like mine. If you teach your child values, respect and to be open-minded then you have nothing to worry about.
Would you rather your child wonder how it would be with a father or wonder why the he!! you let an evil man raise her? As I became an adult I hated men. I never got attached and could care less about men because of the way my father was. It took a long, long time to get over those feelings and finally I met my husband and he changed everything.
But believe me, if my husband changed for the worse, he would be gone. My kids would be happier without someone bringing us down.
2006-07-26 03:20:28 · answer #4 · answered by s_sill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is all in how you raise your daughter. For me, it was no good and I have a bad perception of men, but that is for other reasons as well, not just because my dad wasnt around. But I believe if you teach your daughter the way you want her to think, like to have a good perception of men, then I think it should work out, at least better than having to hear how bad men are all her life.
2006-07-26 03:34:00 · answer #5 · answered by Tragic Remedy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I grew up without a father in the house because mine was in jail. We went to see him twice a month but that was never a whole lot. I really feel that for me it was really hard to get started in my life and to be able to talk to guys. I was always shy and stuff. but I believe that if your daughter is around men and maybe uncles or grandpa's or something like that then she should have no problems.
2006-07-26 03:18:49 · answer #6 · answered by just me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i imagine starting to be up and not using a father can be a good ingredient, if you're making it so. My toddlers 6, 5, and three do no longer have their father of their existence, and they are purely nice. i imagine that the youngster will value you extra and having the flexibility to address issues as he/she receives older will be a ordinary job as seeing you do issues on your own with none help. the purely ingredient that I hardship about is my toddlers searching for a older guy to take their fathers position. besides the undeniable fact that, that is extra ideal to have that worry after chatting with them about it contained in the destiny. do not sweat that stuff now.
2016-10-15 05:38:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well thats up to the father but life with out my dad was ok but know with him its better but i dont take no dawght in him for the past but he has been taken responsabilliitty for the ffuture
2006-07-26 03:16:22 · answer #8 · answered by poohpooh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋