I know I am dating a wonderful man. He never treats me bad, and if he does he's quick to say he is sorry. I know he wants to spend a very long time with me. I care a lot about this man, but sometimes I worry. I don't have a very strong sexual desire for him. Sometimes I don't even want to kiss him. In the past the past it was never a problem for me. I know we can joke, laugh, and share good times. Why don't I feel this attraction for him anymore? What can I do to change? I know that I would be giving up something to good if I do. Help please!
2006-07-26 02:45:40 · 19 answers · asked by starblue716 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You'll be in love when you find the proper one. It's obvious that he is not the right person for you, no matter that hes individual qualities.
Don't destroy your and his life, find the one who you'll love, and let him find someone who'll love him in the way he deserves.
Best regards from Belgrade!
2006-07-26 02:50:34 · answer #1 · answered by Mile 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been in the same boat as you several times. There is no real reason why you do not have a connection with some people and you do with others. I have been told that perhaps on a deeper subconscious level, you two do not get along and are not looking for the same things and that is why there is a discord, but I am not so sure that is the right answer. Unfortunately, the odds of you growing more sexually compatible with him is slim to none. Chemistry is a spark and it is either there or it isn't. There is no real way to invent it. In my own personal experience, I had to walk away even though I knew that I was giving up a wonderful man...but I always thought that if he is so wonderful, then he deserves to be with someone that finds him sexually stimulating...and that was not me. I know that it is a hard thing to do, but you may have to be honest and tell him what is going on. If he is as wonderful as you say he is, he will understand and try to find a solution. But first and foremost, you need to be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you can forego an amazing sexual relationship for an amazing non-sexual one. Keep in this mind...no relationship is perfect and if you are looking for perfection, you will always be left unhappy. You have to learn that there are some sacrifices that you must be willing to make in order to make a future. You just have to know what sacrifices you are and are NOT willing to make.
2006-07-26 09:55:00 · answer #2 · answered by Tytania 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've also been in such a situation - as the unattractive man though. The thing is there is nothing you can do to alter this situation. Its not you that needs to change - its the man.
Being a nice guy (he never treats me bad, and if he does he's quick to say he's sorry) will never, ever be attractive to women. I know this sounds unreasonable but it is nature and we can't change it. I think it will be less painful for him in the end if you let him go and find someone you are in love with. Imagine the pain when he finally figures it out that u are not that into him!!!
Let him go, he'll find someone who loves him!!
2006-07-26 10:27:36 · answer #3 · answered by tha dude 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because a man treats you real good doesn't mean he is the man for you. There must be someone else out there for you. I know there has to be other good men out there. You don't stay with someone just because they are good and you scared you won't find anyone else that will treat you that way. You stay with someone you love and have a bond with. Seeing as you don't want to even kiss him maybe the two of you were just meant to be friends.
2006-07-26 09:53:51 · answer #4 · answered by Coco 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, you can't make yourself fall in love. It's something that just has to happen on it's own. Right now, you may think you're losing somethin good, but later on you'll win something grand when you do fall in love with someone else. Which option would you rather take? Also, if you aren't feelin it with this guy, don't lead him on and make him think you do because that's wrong and very hurtful. He'll be grateful if you just tell him the truth. Plus, your Mr. Right could pass you by if you don't take the initiative and end things with this guy soon. I hope it all works out for you.
2006-07-26 09:51:40 · answer #5 · answered by BamaBelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got married, quite some time ago,,,just to be married....I had a son,,who I do NOT regret having.....I never did FALL in love with my husband and got divorced after 7 years.....27 years later, I am still looking for MR. RIGHT.........but I doubt I will ever find him. There is something inside you that is sending up red flags if you are not feeling attraction anymore..it could be something he said that is nagging in your brain.........as for giving up something good..............most of us have a really hard time just finding something good. It sounds like you want more of a friend at this time..........keep it like that for now..........Share the laughing, the joking and the good times, give thing time to grow...cause maybe you are just afraid, at this time, to get serious, and are pushing him away because of it.......give it time....if time does not help......then you need to give more serious thought to the relationship.....get a paper and write the good thing and the bad down on BOTH you and him.........include ALL feelings, both good or bad..........maybe that will help. and really really listen to your heart..............
2006-07-26 09:59:09 · answer #6 · answered by mom2kats 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in the same situation before. Now me and the guy are best friends. We still joke and laugh and have ALOT of good times together, but its cool cause the tension is gone. Maybe you and this guy should just be friends.
2006-07-26 09:48:33 · answer #7 · answered by shortshit 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this is not the man that you are supposed to be in love with. Maybe he is only in your life to show you how a good man is supposed to treat you. He is a friend. Let him be a friend do not try to force being in love when it is not there you will only get hurt.
2006-07-26 09:52:45 · answer #8 · answered by ~daTexasPrincess~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you are not in love or losing touch of it. If you strongly feel for him, definitely keepi reciting that you love him, love him love him. You will get over the present feeling. If you are not loving the feeling will never change. Unless you dont feel like to share yourself with someone - i dont see any point in loving. Because sexual pleasure also count in the long run.
2006-07-26 09:52:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not your type. Women tend to like what they can't have. Since he has been so nice it seems like you want to have a challange or victory of some sort. Girls and Guys think the same in the end.
What you will realize is that you can't force love.
2006-07-26 09:50:53 · answer #10 · answered by Engineer Adam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋