On one hand I don't want to marry him just because of the benefits if he dies in the Iraq and everything else involved. On the other I want to take my time on this wedding for I have never been married yet I think it would kill me if I did'nt marry him and he died. I love this man very much and want to be his wife.
2006-07-26 02:40:53 · 27 answers · asked by earthmothermoon 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My husband and I are both military and here is my opinion on it. I think that you should marry him if you really love him. The money benefits and issues shouldn't even be a problem. Nine out of ten times nothing will happen to him while he is deployed unless it is his time to go. Just think about the future and if he wants to marry you marry him. Do what your heart tells you to do. But PLEASE remember this......if he is over there doing his tour over seas don't go around and cheat on him and do things to break his heart. It IS hard to be married to someone in the military. You don't always get to see them and they are not always there for you to be able to talk to. As long as he devotes his time to you and you are both in love it WILL work out. It just takes time and patients. But if you dont think you can be faithful then dont marry him. I wouldnt worry about the benefits thing. They take tax out of that anyways so you wouldnt get the full money. The money should be the last thing on your mind. Good luck and i wish you the best!! Everything will work out like planned....
2006-07-26 02:47:09 · answer #1 · answered by kkds14 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all what does your fiance think? Has he left the decision completely up to you? It just seems like this is the kind of decision that is so very personal and should be between the two people involved. Talk to him about what he thinks and see what he has to say about it.
I think that if you really love and want to marry him before he leaves you should. Think about it this way - you can always have a big reception after he gets back. I know that a big wedding is important to some people - it was very important to me - but at the same time I also know that the vows you take to each other are the most important part. And if you are worried or it would make you feel better to be married to him while he's over there, you should marry him. And I don't think you would just do it for the benefits. There is something about being married to someone that you can't really understand until you're married. It's almost like...well for one thing it's very comforting to know that this person is your husband and that's so very different from a fiance!
In the end though I'm sure the two of you will make the right decision. Good luck!
2006-07-26 03:35:55 · answer #2 · answered by ykokorocks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, you should wait and not hurry up with this marriage step. It is for sure not a good moment for getting involved in such an important thing as marriage is, because a wedding is something that needs to be done properly and organized and calmy, and not on the edge, stressed and with ''Damocle's sword'' over your head .
It is surely a sad thing that he has to go to Iraq. But it would be even sader if he died there and you'd be a widow and your entire life would be ruined...I really hope for you two that everything will turn OK in the end, that in one year he will come home safe and sound and you two will get married and be happy toghether!
2006-07-26 03:03:10 · answer #3 · answered by creation 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him, I think you should go ahead & marry him. If you don't have a lot of time for planning, don't worry. It'll be special. & you could do something unique, like get married on the beach. My wedding was cheap & quick. We decided to finally get married. We picked a date (within a few weeks.) We had it in our living room at home & there were a total of 9 people there, including me & Robert & the preacher. My dress was $25 from Rose's. I love my husband very much & anytime I start to regret getting married so fast, the feeling doesn't last long! Good luck!!! You're both in my thoughts & prayers!
2006-07-26 02:48:27 · answer #4 · answered by ~*Lady Beth*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to make this decision together.
When he comes back, you might be two very different people than who you are right now, and you don't want to chance a divorce.
I personally would wait, but it is up to you.
As for having one civil ceremony and a lavish wedding later, I find that option very diasteful, and that many who choose that option are doing a re-run wedding for gifts and for the bride's vanity. If you have a small wedding now, then send out announcements right after, you can have a big anniversary party some time later, but not a re-enactment wedding-- that would be tacky.
2006-07-26 12:22:43 · answer #5 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a hard one. First off all, tell your fiance thank you for going to Iraq for us! That right there is a big accomplishment! I am very proud of our men and women who are over there!
I think you should marry him before if that is what you want. How soon is he leaving??
You could always get married by the justice of the peace before he leaves and when he comes home (think positive hun...it will help you through it!) have a big wedding that you want!
good luck!
2006-07-26 02:47:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you marry him before he goes, you are going to be kept more in the loop if something happens. Should he get hurt, they will notify you as his next of kin, rather than his parents. You can have more contact with him (not much more, but more) than if you are just his fiancee. So have a very nice very small wedding or elopement with just parents and siblings present and then when he comes back have a big bash or wedding with bash.
2006-07-26 03:31:57 · answer #7 · answered by mom of girls 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you have thought of this, but you could do a civil ceremony at a court house, with just a few family members and you two. Then when he returns plan the lavish wedding. I know that you don't want to marry him for the benifits...but if...god forbid...anything did happen to the man that you plan to marry anyways, wouldn't he like to know that you would be somewhat taken care of? Good luck with your choice, be happy!!
2006-07-26 04:02:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marry him privately before he goes off just incase anything happen to him at least you got the chance to be his wife for even an hour. Then when he comes back you can plan your big elegant wedding for all you friends and family to attend.
When he goes off to war he may never come back so enjoy the time with him to the fulless. Enjoy it like it's the last day you havve with him.
2006-07-26 02:54:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no point in marrying him, then he leaves you back...
Look, 3 options for you:
1. To marry him and go with him to Iraq... (I guess you won't)
2. Not to marry him and wait for him.... (difficult but for your own good)
3. To marry him and he should find another place to work, where you can travel with him or he stays with you....
Listen, marriage is a big thing and not just 2 rings to exchange... He should feel responsible of this step and take the good decision with you....
2006-07-26 02:46:37 · answer #10 · answered by toon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋