My wifes mom hates my wife! She has tormented my wife all her life. What can I do to put a stop to this? hubby

Question

My wife is 39 years old and we have 4 kids.

Answer 1

Erase her from your life. Change phone numbers, etc. etc. Whatever it takes to prohibit her from making contact with your wife

Answer 2

The first thing I would suggest is talking to your wife to see what she wants done. If she wants her mom to stay away because you have to remember that you would be taking the kids grandmother away as well. If you both can talk to her or even go to a family counselor to get things squared away. If you have tried to talk to her give her a choice if the way she acts does not stop then she will be cut from the whole family's lives. See if she bites and if not then you and your wife must take action and not answer her calls or when she comes to the house not answer the door, that kind of thing. I wouldn't suggest changing numbers or moving because there is no reason why you should run from her. You must confront the situation head on. Hope everything works out okay.

Answer 3

What do you mean by torment? A 39 year old woman should not have to deal with parental abuse considering your wife has more than reached adulthood. I suspect your wife probably proclaims a love and affection for her mother, but wishes she'd stop tormenting. I would suggest that YOU talk to the mother and tell her that, as her husband, the behavior won't be tolerated anymore. If she gets hostile, cut her out of your life completely. If she responds, stay firm about it and try to find out why she torments.

Answer 4

Sorry to have to do this, but it's how things were cut out of the cloth. This ball is in your court because you are the head of your household.

As the head of your home, and since your wife will, for as long as she lives, grieve the mother she wished she had, and not the mother she has--you need to set the boundaries for your home and your wife. And those boundaries must be respected or your wife's mother will not be allowed to your house, your chlidren will not be allowed to her house, and your mother-in-law's phone calls will not be taken, nor returned.

You, as the husband and father in your home, have to step in and protect your family. Yes, this is harassment and indimidation, manipulation and psychological abuse. Stand up for your family and take charge. See this woman as nothing more than a threat to the safety, wellbeing, and happiness of your home. Deal with it as such.

If your mother-in-law cannot learn that that is yours and your wife's home and that she must abide by yours and you wife's rules, then she should not be allowed to participate in anything dealing with you and your wife----and that, especially, includes the children. She can psychologically torment and abuse her grandchildren if they are left in her care.

Sorry to have to do this to you---but this one is your responsibility. Pray about it. Take it and protect you family.

Being a husband is hard work and holds a great deal of responsibility. But if God had not wanted the husband to be the head of the house, the protector, and the provider---he would have made men much much smaller!

You do what you already know you must do!

Answer 5

Point out to your wife that you see how her mother treats her and it really bothers you. My hubby did the same for me. He saw how I would act when around or after seeing my mother. I then had to set firm boundries....

When I was pregnant I added some firm boundries. She would go on about my brother, my brother and I have had "issues" since I was a young child. He now is a womenizer and won't take accountability for his childrent. I didn't want to hear any family gossip. I have a sister that totally abandoned her kids. I was a kid myself or I would have raised them.

Anyway, I haven't seen my mother in over a year because she could not handle she is not the center of my world.

If you point things out to your wife and you see how she is treated. She needs to set some boundires or stop communication with her mother.

Answer 6

Apparently, this pattern of abuse was in place long before
you came on the scene. Your wife may be psychologically scarred from such a toxic relationship. Luckily, now she has
you, a supportive husband and her own family.
She might write a letter to her mom, expressing her "take" on
the dysfunctional relationship, and announce to her mom that "she will no longer be engaging in an unloving relationship...and if
her mom continues to be abusive, "mother" will be cut out of her life."
She should then limit her contact with her mother. The ball will
be in mom's court then, to change her "wicked" ways.

Answer 7

get her away from her mother.Cut her mother out of her l ife if shes tormenting her and your wife wants nothing to do with her.Sounds like her mother has serious emotional issues tht ur wife dosent need to deal with.If you live near the mother change your phone number if she shows up at the house either dont answer door or call cops and put a restraining order against her.

Answer 8

talk to your wife about this. let her know and feel that you are on her side and will be until the end. your wife must be awfully miserable over this mom of hers. but i can feel she doesn't want to hurt her feelings. i thought so, because you would ask other people's help if it's ok for her to part from her mother's life.
the only thing for you and your wife to do about this dilemma is move out of your mom-in-law's life. don't let your children see your wife suffer from this... they will feel the suffering too! and that would not be fair for your children. they need to have a happy, peaceful family life.
i tip my hat for you man... very few would have the courage to ask for help with his problem with his parents-in-law.
you really love your wife and your kids... you're a great husband and a great father!
Good luck and God bless!

Answer 9

i truly feel for you, because i am somewhat in the same situation, only it is my mom and her mother. my grandmother has verbally abused my mother and treated her like dirt all her life. you should probably seek counseling for your wife to help her recognize the detrimental effect her mother is having on her. your wife has to make the decision to cut her out of her life. i can't imagine why wouldn't have done this already! if necessary you can let her mother know that you all are cutting off all contact through changing phone number (probably have to make it unlisted, depending on how wiley and determined your MIL is) and that she is not to contact your wife. but if a person does nothing but hurt, then you need to remove yourself from that person.

Answer 10

Where is the rest of this family? They have let this happen all these years? Tell your wife you love her so much that you are not letting this happen to her any more. Either talk to that witch or never let her near your wife agian. What kind of person doe's this to their own child? Good wishes to you and your wife.

Answer 11

That's a matter that needs to be resolved between your wife and her mom. Stay out of it but be supportive of your wife.