2006-07-26 02:30:54 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
we have been together almost 2 years asked me to move to the uk with him I am here now, and he's pushing me away. he is almost 30 too, do you thing now he is getting commitment phobic???
2006-07-26 02:38:39 · update #1
ask him....
2006-07-26 02:31:41 · answer #1 · answered by dumbass 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he has something on his mind.
Don't always assume it's you. Men, like women, get distracted sometimes thinking about things and forget that maybe their behaviour could be misconstrued or could be upsetting somebody close to them.
Keep a clear, calm head and ask him if everything is okay.
9 times out of 10, it will be a frustration with either not feeling he can communicate his feelings very well (very common) or that maybe he doesn't want to talk about it for fear you will try and give him the answers, when all he wants you to do is listen. It could also be that he is worried about something and feels he can't tell you (or anyone, for that matter), for fear of what reaction he might get e.g. disapproval and/or anger, instead of empathy, love and support for him to feel he isn't being judged as a bad person or a disappointment.
You could broach it gently and just say something like (make sure you say it how it feels comfortable to you to say it - not word for word, what I've put here): "I've noticed you're not yourself recently, is there anything you want to talk about?"
If he says no, and you feel upset - don't worry. Just give him plenty of space and ask again the next day - but say it differently, e.g. "You know I'm if you need me to listen/to talk to me", and again - I wouldn't push it.
Insecurity in a partner, can be unattractive - so don't jump to wild conclusions,.. it's likely to lead to an argument & get you both off on the wrong footing and maybe even potentially blow up something that wasn't an issue to begin with.
It may be worthwhile focusing yourself on finding out what IS the matter, instead of assuming and even just being physically affectionate with him, to show you care, if you feel saying anything will make him defensive. Listen more than you speak, that's the key and I the only thing I think it's worth steering clear of, is using affection as a way to make him feel guilty if the issue does come up that he is wanting to end things. Whatever happens, it's normal to be afraid of things coming to an end - especially if you've been with someone a long time.
Like I say: find out what's wrong first, it could be nothing to do with this and you may be putting yourself through unecessary worry.
Take care
2006-07-26 03:02:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A very good possibility. OR he could just need some space. I've heard people on here talking about "hanging out ALL the time" or "talking on the phone ALL the time" --- everyone needs their space -- like guys hanging out with the guys doing their thing and vice versa. It's real important to have a life other than just your love life.
2006-07-26 02:34:39 · answer #3 · answered by butterfliesRfree 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be his personality, maybe he isn't an emotional guy. But if this behavior is unusual for him, then I'd say ya'll need to do some serious talking. Serious relationships need to be worked on, they don't just happen. So talk to him if this behavior is just not him and ask him gently what's going on and if there's anything you guys need to discuss. He should confide in you if there's nothing to hide and remember, you're on his side so don't get all defensive and don't jump on him if he doesn't feel like talking. Good Luck and God Bless!
2006-07-26 02:38:18 · answer #4 · answered by BamaBelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are picking up the wrong signals from him or you are smothering him so he is trying to push you away to give him some space?
You need to talk to him about your feelings, its the only way to get your feeling out in the open and fix whats bothering both of you.
2006-07-26 02:37:14 · answer #5 · answered by matdevine21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he may be acting distant for a number of reasons: stress at work, being tired, the shock that your actually living together etc. there is probably nothing wrong with your relationship but the only way you will find out is to ask him, otherwise you will never know. be brave, whats the worst that can happen......................if you dont ask you will become paranoid and then if your relationship goes wrong it will be down to you.......................honesty is the best policy-tell him your worried coz he seems distant and you need to know why..........im sure its nothing to worry about sweetie
2006-07-26 03:24:15 · answer #6 · answered by cheeky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way you can find that out is by asking him. He may tell you things you don't want to hear, but if it needs to be said it's better to know now sooner, rather then later.
2006-07-26 02:39:28 · answer #7 · answered by London girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you just think he's being distant..sometimes we just feel like that. Best thing to do is talk to him..ask him to be honest. Atleast then you aren't sitting around wondering about whats going on..Maybe he just has alot on his mind?! Good Luck!
2006-07-26 02:33:55 · answer #8 · answered by justwonderingwhatever 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you are rushing things to quickly? Do you really know what he wants from the relationship, maybe a chat about both your expectations will resolve your problem
2006-07-26 02:36:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. That's a way to break up with someone and try to save their feelings. It doesn't work, is self-centered in reality, and shouldn't be allowed.
Either give him the breakup he wants or just act like you don't notice and make him dump you.
2006-07-26 02:33:20 · answer #10 · answered by Mama R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you ask him? One can be distant for millions of reasons, although the most common one is he might want to end things.
2006-07-26 02:32:19 · answer #11 · answered by jan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋