What can i do to stop my 16 month old from trying to hurt my 4 month old? anyone know ?

Answer 1

Make sure to spend one-on-one time with the older child.

Show him how to do "gentle touches" with the baby and praise him when he is gentle. Stress how much the baby LIKES the gentle touches.

Don't leave them alone together.

trijoy726 -
What a double standard. Don't *EVER* let the big kid hurt the baby but sure, it's OK for the parent to wack the big kid. Yeah.....that won't confuse the kid AT ALL.

Answer 2

Well that is called discipline. Your 16 month old must be feeling like you aren't paying him enough attention so he is doing stuff to the 4 month old so he can get some kind of attention. Spend more alone time with your 16 month old. Even if it is 20 mins a day alone do it. Watch it will make a world of difference if not then take him to a specialist and see if something is really wrong but I doubt it. Try that and I'm sure it will work. Good luck to you and the kids.

Answer 3

This is one of those times that you have to make sure that he understands it is a very serious thing to hurt a baby. When you see him hit or otherwise, you grab his hand (calmly) and look at him on his level and tell him "NO, we don't hurt the baby." And then say "be nice to the baby" and show him how to pat him on the head or face.

The next time you see him hurting in some way, you spank him without warning. He will get the point. Kids this young lash out sometimes because they don't understand their feelings or because they just want to see what the baby will do if they pinch something. But you have to break this while you can before it becomes a serious issue. And he has to know that there will be immediate consquences if he hurts the baby again. Good luck!

Answer 4

First, make sure you supervise the chidren at all times. And second, pay equal attention to both children. I know that seems impossible, but your 16 month old was the only one before. Now the 16 month old has to share you with their sibling. Jealousy is most likely the cause here. Provide as much love and attention to both children as you possible can. Gently remind the 16 month old to be careful and gentle with the baby. Eventually baby will be old enough to take care of itself.... then the 16 month old will have to watch out!
http://www.mamashealth.com/child/sibling.asp
http://www.nncc.org/Guidance/cc45_new.sibling.html
Check out these sites. There might be something there to help you.

Answer 5

I had a similiar problem with my older child when the second one came along. We tried to make sure that we spent one on one time with her, and we started having mommy daughter days. Just us, and no brother, since he was a bottle fed baby it wasn't a problem, if you breastfeed you could pump. Anyway, after I was done feeding the baby and he was asleep, and sometimes during feeding the bottle, I would take time right away to maybe read a book to my daughter, that way she felt they were getting the same amount of mommy, and she wasn't getting pushed away. Now that they are 6 and 4, they are best friends and really watch out for each other.
Good luck, don't give up, I know this is a hard time, you love both of them but when one is acting up, it makes it difficult sometimes.
Children get jealous just like we do.

Answer 6

can you add details? what kind of hurt? like hitting and biting? I am sure he is just jealous beyond belief and trying to win your attention whether its negative or not. I would advise spending alone time with your older child without interruptions at least once a day so he/she knows that your still there for her/him. And get on her level to tell her to be nice to the baby, let her join in and be a part of the day with the baby, like letting her hold the wipes when your changing diapers or let her shake the bottle if you formula feed etc...

Answer 7

your 16 month old is still not responsible for his actions. all he knows is that this thing is taking up to much of moms time. but he is developing into a person and must be taught respect for the other baby and for others in general. never leave them un attended. never! make sure that every thing you do for the new baby you get the older one involved in. ever changing the diaper the feeding. bathing.. ever thing! let him know his op ion is expected. let him get you the diaper, let him run the wash rag over the baby. let him throw the diaper away. let him help with the bottle. make him a part of all the care for the baby. it is hard work tending to two that young.. i know! but make the oldest know he is part of it. it will truly help!

Answer 8

I would spend special time with my son, once his brother was asleep and in the afternoons we nap together, much needed time for him and rest for me. It was something that we could do because the "BABY" could fall off the bed. So it was our special time Plus it's amazing how much he has opened up to me and tells me all different kind of things that he is thinking about. He is now 3 and his little brother 8 months and he is now wanting to feed burp(although we are past that stage his way of hitting with out hurting or getting in trouble) Good luck they will end up being the best of friends

Answer 9

You need to teach the 16 month old how to be gentle

Answer 10

when i lived with my aunt and her kids were about the age of yours we used to put the baby in the older ones arms and let her hold her sometimes she needed to learn that this is a baby not something to playwith .........we also used to make sure the baby was out of her reach if we were busy
she later accepted that the baby was special and she used to want to hold her more
I hope this helps