married for a few years now but my wife does my head in by racking up debts and her family is a nightmare. given this is it ok for to sleep with other women? is it wrong that i want to? am i an asshole?
2006-07-26 01:38:34 · 31 answers · asked by jonny_nowhere 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It is perfectly normal for you to be attracted to and want to sleep with other women. It is human nature to be attracted to people other than your mate, especially if there are problems in the relationship. Youre not an asshole for having those thoughts, but acting on them is something comepletely different. If things are really that bad in your marriage maybe you should consider counseling or even divorce. DONT CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE!! It will be a HUGE mistake!! And no matter how bad the marriage is, you will feel horrible and totally regret it. You should talk to your wife and tell her how you are feeling and try to repair your marriage before making any rash decisions. Once you have put your best efforts into fixing the problems and loving your wife again, if things dont change you should seperate and then start dating or sleeping with other women. Cheating is NEVER a good idea no matter what youre going through. Trust me, it will only hurt even if it feels great while its happening. In the end you will regret it. Please, please dont cheat! I hope things get better for you and you can repair your relationship with your wife!! Good luck hun!! :-)
2006-07-26 01:57:47 · answer #1 · answered by Ex-Blondie 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
While it is normal to desire other women, acting upon those desires after one commits to one woman is not in your best interests. Temporary relief from the daily stresses we all encounter would certainly accrue, but the unfavorable consequences that are unavoidable make it a short-sighted and self-destructive behavior.
Work on the problems in your marriage. Determine not who is to blame but how the two of you, together, can resolve them. If that proves impossible - and it may - then you have to decide whether or not to remain in the marriage. Only after the marriage has been declared over by the legal system in your principality is it acceptable to seek out new relationships. Good luck, buddy, it is not an easy road to travel.
2006-07-26 01:46:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If U want some1 2 tell U 2 go off & B happy what R U waiting 4?
But U want my advice, get divorced first, huh?
No UR not an a55hole, just UR not having much fun with UR nightmare of a wife.
Change the situation, but not by sleeping around.
Get a divorce & do what U wanna do.
2006-07-26 01:44:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
--No it is perfectly normal for you to want to meander through the pastures once more. However, this does not mean I advocate doing it. It will cost you a lot more in divorce court than the meager debts your Wife is racking up. If you have money issues with her, stop her if she won't stop, divorce her sighting her financial strain that is hurting your mental well being. As soon as your seperated go nail it all.
2006-07-26 01:43:55 · answer #4 · answered by raiderking69 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is monogamous. If you want o sleep with other women how is that solving the issues you have with the debt and the family being a nightmare. I would check out some marriage counselors first.
2006-07-26 01:43:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
NO. It is not ok. Did you think marriage was going to be a walk in the park? And do you think you're perfect? It would be very interesting to see what your wife has to say about you.
Grow up. Stop making up stupid excuses, be a man and be responsible for your actions. If you want to destroy your marriage, then be honest about it, destroy it upfront and spare your wife the suffering of your cheating on her.
But think about this first: are you going to give up on your marriage because some problems appear? If so, you're a coward, you're not a man.
2006-07-26 01:51:51 · answer #6 · answered by Patricia V 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey, Johnny, well, I think everyone at times (even in average or decent relationships) still at times feels the urge to stray. Temptation is common to mankind, and it's okay to be tempted.
As far as actually giving in, well, that's a different matter.
Sounds like you're finding it difficult to pursue a relationship with your wife. She's frustrating you by her lack of financial discipline, and her family only adds to the stress.
What's interesting to me is that you describe emotional stresses with your wife, but you're talking about physically straying in order to make yourself feel better. They seem to be two different things... (or maybe not, for guys).
You're definitely in a hard spot, and it's where the rubber meets the road in this relationship. Your wife isn't meeting your felt needs. What are you going to do? Is there anything in you that still loves and wants your wife, but you don't know how? Would you make it work if you could, but you're just upset, angry, and frustrated with the situation and don't know how to resolve it, so you're looking for something to make you feel better for just a little bit?
I can't tell you what to do, but having sex outside your relationship will (1) only make you feel good temporarily, and you'll have to do it time and again until your marriage problem is addressed, and (2) drive even more emotional distance between yourself and your wife. In other words, the marriage will probably tank after awhile, or you'll simply live two separate lives in a loveless relationship.
So make a decision: Do/Will you love your wife, and are you willing to commit to whatever that would entail? It's not going to be easy to enter that chaos, I know that much, but you're getting into the real meat of what it means to be married. (I have been there and done that, and yes, I know it's no picnic.)
Meanwhile, if you commit to sticking with your wife, you need to find some practical solutions to deal with her spending problems, family relationships, and whatever other issues you might have. That's a little beyond the scope of the details provided with the question, but you need some emotional support (since you probably feel sort of alone in all this mess) as well as good workable advice on how to cope.
Is there anyone you know who's been through this sort of garbage who you trust enough to accept help from with this?
[P.S. Don't label yourself as an *sshole for wanting an "easy out." You're under stress, and anyone would want out. It's what we actually do and the attitudes that we foster in ourselves that change our character for good or bad. Again, don't worry about condemning yourself; worry about what you are going to choose to do.]
2006-07-26 01:59:50 · answer #7 · answered by Jennywocky 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its not okay. Would you accept it if ur wife did the same thing to u giving u the reasons that u gave us now? Either try to change her or if you think you can't adjust with her try to get a divorce. sleeping around when u r married is not acceptable.
2006-07-26 01:45:39 · answer #8 · answered by gotbolder 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its ok to want to sleep with other women..
It's not ok to do it as long as you are married.
Either work it out or end the marriage. Any woman who wants to sleep with a married man is not worth your time and risk.
2006-07-26 01:41:46 · answer #9 · answered by Funnyaccountant 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sleeping with another woman is not your solution.the problem is that you have already conceived a desire for another woman but your conscience wouldn't let you and you want to hear something that will back you up into committing adultery and this desire will not let you see the good parts of your wife.try to make a note of the good characters of your wife and compare with the bad ones(which is what you have just said)be sincere and you will discover that you are one of the luckiest man on earth.you must lean to disconnect her family's interference with you both
2006-07-26 02:04:41 · answer #10 · answered by kkshanana 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋