Here's the thing, I became a father for the first time about a year ago. My relationship has never been quite good with my wife since we got married. When my boy was five months I recieved a phonne call from a former girlfriend and i said, hey why not. We had the time of our lives, she had a 4 year old daughter already. we saw eachother about once a month. Yesterday we met at a shopping mall and she told me that she has cancer and she's dying, and she told me that I am the father of the 4 year old girl. She told me that she tried to find me, but her mother went to have some liver treatment at Houston and she lost contact, she just arrive back in town, her mother died a little ago. How do I tell my wife that I have a daughter?
2006-07-26 00:46:11 · 21 answers · asked by Rodanz 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
First of all you need to get a paternity test! This is no joke. I am not saying that she is lying to you... but just to be clear about it! It all doesnt make sense to me because how couldnt she tell you that before and what made her all of a sudden in contact!
If she's your daughter, you MUST take full responsibility of her. Tell your wife, there is nothing wrong here since it was all in the PAST! You cannot go back in time and change things. If she really loves you, she will support you and will not make a big deal out of it.
Make her feel that she is important and you have no one else to trust to take care of your daughter but her because she is your other half. Make her feel important and needed, and that she can do it with you, even better make her feel that you are asking her for help!
When a woman feels that her man needs her, she will do anything to help!
Good luck
2006-07-26 00:54:26 · answer #1 · answered by SAM 5 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Well first it isn't like you cheated on her and got someone else pregnant, you and this woman had a child BEFORE your wife came along. Second you and your wife have a son together and I am sure she can respect the fact that she wants him to have a father in his life. Third this is your daughter and she is loosing her mother the only caregiver she has ever known. Your wife might not be happy but under the circumstances if she loves you she will treat this child with sensitivity and respect. I am sure she will ask you how do you know it is yours and this you have to decide, you can either take the girls mother at her word or get a dna test, either way the sooner the better. Be honest with your wife though and tell her now rather than later so that you both have time to build a relationship with the little girl before her mother is gone. I would much rather my husband stand up and be a man and accept the responsibilty of his child than to ignore it and I would want my children to know their sister. Good luck to you
2006-07-26 11:12:01 · answer #2 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would sit down and talk with her about it, be completely honest with her. That little girl is going to need someone when her mother passes on. Explain to wife what happen and why you didn't find out until now. Hopefully if she is an understanding person she will except the fact that you have a little girl. Ask her how she would feel if she was in the other women's shoes. I am sure she will understand and except your daughter. Good Luck!
2006-07-26 00:56:50 · answer #3 · answered by awesomemommy05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your wife the truth! The thing is that you started seeing that ex girlfriend...That is kind of bad in a way, but if you all did not have a sexual relationship you might be ok. Now if you and this women were having sex you better pray your wife has a forgiving heart. Besides the baby happened before her, so what is the problem.
2006-07-26 00:53:25 · answer #4 · answered by SUGA_STORMY 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unlike the few responses I read, I wouldn't dispute the parentage of this little girl, consider it a last request from a dying mother. If she feels the biological father is bad for her little girl, raise the girl for her.
I'm assuming you weren't with your wife yet, when this child was conceived... I don't think it's important HOW you tell your wife, I think it's important that you do it SOON. In the long run, she'll be more angry if you tell her at the last minute, than if you just tell her.
2006-07-26 03:00:54 · answer #5 · answered by 42ITUS™ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding me? He loves her as his daughter and he would not could.....do you be attentive to what number bio father do no longer even try this. curiously your daughters would not and you prefer to eliminate the only father determine she has? Come on woman, he took her to Honolulu i think of he's probable an excellent guy if no longer a large guy. So issues did no longer artwork out with you 2, he exchange into of course good sufficient so you might offload your daughter on on a similar time as you ran to China yet now he's dirt. you would be helping their dating and coaching your daughter extra proper values. i'm specific she feels caught interior the middle and hears you communicate unfavourable with regard to the hot gf and her dad, you have an threat here to take the extreme highway and quite teach your daughter a efficient existence lesson, why do no longer you're taking earnings of that. God Bless.
2016-11-03 00:49:43 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as the child is older than your marriage, it should be OK. I cant quite figure that part out! I think she is! My husband had found out he was the father of an 11 year old after we had been married for 9 years. It was a shock, but life is what it is and this is not as uncommon as you think. You werent a virgin when you married her so all things are possible!
2006-07-26 01:57:06 · answer #7 · answered by ♥monamarie♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the bad part is you didn't tell her at the beginning. but since that's over. you have to set her down and tell her slowly but not to slow. say it like this. Honey we need to talk about something. say, a fue days ago i ran in to a old friend and they gave me some bad news, the news is that she Had's a 4 year old girl and its mine, before she can say anything say, what Therese more. tell her that she is dying and what from. now she is going to be up set yes and she is going to want proof its your child unless you really know its your child tell her you will do what ever she wants for her to give you support. even if you don't mean it. now if you were cheating on your wife then you mite as well pack your things then tell her.
2006-07-26 01:15:10 · answer #8 · answered by brandi g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's seen now how do you tell your wife you committed adultery which resulted in the birth of a child? Does Texas still recognize adultery as grounds for divorce? You might want to see a lawyer first.
2006-07-26 01:19:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should fess up right at the beginning so she dosn't think that you are trying to hide something. Tell her that you rec'd a shock and that you need to tell her about it and that you might have a daughter that you never knew about. As long as you are honest then everything should be fine. But you really need to quit cheating on your wife too.
2006-07-26 01:17:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋