The guy I'm dating is so special, and I have feelings Ive never had, even for my ex-husband. But I caught myself keep telling him the bad things about my ex, I was trying to let him know how much more of a man he is......but he thinks I'm comparing them. I'm not, there's no comparison, my ex was abusive. I think it's just my way of letting him know what I won't tolerate in a relationship. I apologized, but he's still upset.Any suggestions on how to fix this?
2006-07-25 23:49:59 · 8 answers · asked by dazed.. 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Maybe coming clean with your insight might help. Sometimes it's easier to point to something you don't like and hope that your new guy gets the hint, but guys are so often not good hint takers.
I recommend sitting down, and being very direct with him about your miscommunication, and what you'd like him to know about how you feel about him.
It's OK to set limits in a relationship, and to change them over time. You get to change your mind, your opinion, and your desires.
Of course you compare him to the other men you've known....there's no escaping that, and you don't have to apologize or pretend you don't do that. But you can be sensitive to his feelings in how you present that information to him.
Keep talking, end by all means, celebrate finding someone you feel so special about. Make lots of mistakes....it shows that you're out there and not keeping yourself in a box. Just be sensitive, and admit when you've learned you've hurt someone.
2006-07-25 23:59:26 · answer #1 · answered by dietcokeani 3 · 10⤊ 0⤋
First of all don't talk about your ex anymore. Even if your not comparing them, that's what it's gonna seem like to him anyways. Even if you are just trying to say that he is more of a man then your ex was. Don't talk him. Don't bring him up at all. Aplogize to him again and just let him know why you say the stuff you do. I mean you are comparing him even if you are saying that your boyfriend is doing good. Don't ever compare it's the worst thing you can do. Just try apologizing again and just talk to him. Let him know. Does he know that you used to be in an abusive relationship? I mean he may stay upset but as long as you don't bring it up again I think your ok. Just bite your tongue as much as you want to tell him that he did something that your ex would never do or that he didn't do something that your ex did used to do. Good Luck
2006-07-25 23:56:44 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa&Michael U 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop comparing them cos you should never compare 2 different relationships-it is hard to do, I know. Explain to your new guy that you will never do it again and just tell him how special he is & make him believe you
2006-07-25 23:55:44 · answer #3 · answered by butterfly girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
never ....never mention the ex that makes a guy feel like hes competing with the ex
2006-07-25 23:53:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Ex is past..so better forget everything and stop talking about it.
Find out what the new guy likes and get interested in what he likes..(e.g. movie,picnic)
2006-07-25 23:58:48 · answer #5 · answered by kulkarnidg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you need him, and you want him to be patient with you, because you are still recovering from an abusive relationship.
2006-07-25 23:59:14 · answer #6 · answered by catsclaw 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, convince him and stop comparing I think guys hate that... kinda hurts their ego....
2006-07-25 23:52:45 · answer #7 · answered by yewny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea....stop it!!! its old...like ..fast!!
2006-07-25 23:53:09 · answer #8 · answered by outback 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋