Three years ago, I had a serious relationship with this guy. He was, in fact, my first real love (it was quite epic!). We did not leave the relationship in a good way. To keep it short, he completely broke my heart. Since then, I've recovered from the heartbreak and I have moved on successfully. I have a very serious boyfriend now, and I am absolutely in love with him. But just today, that ex-boyfriend called me. We had a short conversation ("Oh, hey!" "How have you been?"). Although, he did ask about my love life, and I told him that I had a serious boyfriend. Not long after hearing that, he told me he had to run, and that he'd call me later so we could "catch up." I just don't know why this is happening.
I am as happy as I have ever been in my life with my current boyfriend. But why would my ex-boyfriend call me after leaving a relationship on very bad terms, and after three years of not speaking to each other? It doesn't feel like he wants to make amends. I don't know what to do.
2006-07-25 19:35:57 · 26 answers · asked by Arabella 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't let him get to you. It's not worth it. He probably just had another bad break-up and started thinking about you: the one who got away. Or he just needed a booty call. I think that if he calls you again, you should just tell him you're busy and blow him off. Or even tell him that you're not interested in talking to him at all. That part of your life is over and you've moved on. Talking to him will only drudge up old memories-good and bad- and make you question yourself and your current relationship. Close that chapter in your life and don't look back. Ever.
2006-07-25 19:40:34 · answer #1 · answered by jocelyn_magee 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
1
2016-12-20 02:27:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
After several years, I doubt it is a booty call like I see people are saying. If it had been 3 months... I would think otherwise.
You never know. Maybe he got to thinking about something, or saw something that reminded him of you, and genuinely wanted to know how you were doing. Otherwise...chalk it up as one of the mysteries of life. Love is so crazy and confusing... I don't think there is ever a good answer when it comes to things like this. :P
Just go with the flow. If he calls again and acts as though he wants to get back with you, tell him thanks but no thanks... you are in a relationship with someone that makes you so very happy. If he just wants to chat, Great! And if you gain a friendship from that, its even better. You can't ever have too many of those.
Hope everything turns out the way you hope.
2006-07-25 19:48:22 · answer #3 · answered by Spacey 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While there is the possibility he is truly sorry and is feeling bad, it sound like your instincts are telling you different; trust those instincts.
Did he perhaps get dumped recently? Has there been a death of a friend or relative that has been close to him? Has he been fired from a job or been in trouble with the law recently? It could be he is looking to bolster his ego and men seem to frequently run back to an old flame to try to re-kindle that flame to make them feel better. Even worse, he could be looking for a booty call. Once "his" needs are met and his ego is bolstered, he drop you like a hot potato, and do it again the next time he gets dumped until you are firm with him that you will not tolerate the situation.
If you didn't part on good term, you do not owe it to him in any way, shape or form to "catch up". You have already told him you are in a relationship and if wants to catch up on old times you can just reitterate that, or offer to bring your new boyfriend with you when you meet up with him to "catch up"...if his motives are pure, he won't mind meeting your new beau.
2006-07-25 19:45:51 · answer #4 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wells its hard to tell but id say that he still has feelings for you deep down inside but if his feelings are so strong now then why would he have hurt you in the first place.. hmm he could just be trying to start trouble with your current boy-friend maybe the word got to him somehow this is a small world ya kno or he could just be wanting to be friends because what yall had was so great and he dont want to lose you as a friend also!
2006-07-25 19:40:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A great way to get your ex back is https://tr.im/IdsI5
They might realize they need you and come crawling back!
If you do get back together, don't let the same issues that destroyed your relationship crop up again. Have a good, long talk about how you're both going to make it right this time.
2015-02-05 22:47:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A great way to get your ex back is https://tr.im/YJivs
They might realize they need you and come crawling back!
If you do get back together, don't let the same issues that destroyed your relationship crop up again. Have a good, long talk about how you're both going to make it right this time.
2015-01-28 11:43:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your messages definitely helped me through my breakup. About a year and a half ago my lover of four years and I broke up and I desperately wanted ex back, and because of some of the advice you had given, I was able to! Time went on and things were back to the way they were, and were not together anymore, and it’s okay. I wouldn’t have been able to go through the realization process had I not read these, as well. Your messages were very beneficial to me, though I don’t need them anymore, they were always appreciated. Thank you so much.
2015-02-09 05:17:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had an ex boyfriend do the same thing except he contacted me on messenger and then when I said I had a boyfriend he ended the conversation and I haven't spoke to him since. Maybe he was thinking you could get back together...who knows
2006-07-25 19:39:18 · answer #9 · answered by Lindsay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe just to say hi and nothing more.I don't think I would give it another thought. Three years is a long time to be out of touch with someone, and to call out of the blue he's needing something and thought maybe you would be still pinning over him. he didn't know what a strong woman you were. He is a fool. do not let him back into your life.
2006-07-25 19:42:42 · answer #10 · answered by basque girl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋