when should be the breaking point when a child shouldint sleep with there parent?

Question

its kinda hard they have 4 four people in the house hes only six and 3 bedrooms they cant move there paying a mortgage i just dont want it to affect him. hes not abused

ok its the mother daughter son and 6 year old the other son is 28 hes handicapped and needs his whole room for his equipment the girl is 19 and works to help pay mortgage and bills with mother they did have 8 people in the house but the mom got a divorce due to the step father beating her children not the 6 year old im sorry if im confusing

Answer 1

That is a really bad idea to put an infant/child in the bed with you. They get use to it and they will do it for many years.

Answer 2

Once upon a time in a galaxy far far away...

they used to build homes with 2 bedrooms and one bath. There was a room for the parents and a room for the kids. When the kids got older they might add on a room and have a girls room and a boys room.

Typically the parents slept in one bed and the youngest child slept in the room with them. Usually in a crib or bassinet or even in a drawer lined to make it soft. That made it easy for mom to tend to the baby (feed and change it) without having to go so far, especially if the house was cold. The youngest kid would sleep there until there was a newer younger kid or until he was potty-trained and no longer needed special care. Again, by that time there was often another brother or sister to sleep with, too.

So you have 3 bedrooms, and 4 people. You say parent, not parents. Parent / parents should get a bed of their own. That leaves a boys room and a girls room, so the 6 yr old should fit in there somewhere. Are there other adults in the house? Then someone needs to sleep somewhere else--an adult can sleep in a nook off the living room, after everyone else goes to bed, hopefully at a decent hour. All the more reason for them to get a job and a place of their own.

I think a 6 yr old should be sleeping on their own, unless there's some crisis like a death in the family or a short-term crisis like being sick or watching a scary movie. They need to start being independent, and the parent needs some peace and quiet to be on their own, even if their single.

It's very uncomfortable to sleep with a little kid, have you ever tried it! They take the whole bed by pushing you around.

Answer 3

It really depends on the child and on the parent. We have three kids. One of them never slept with us, one to the age of 19 months, and one of them until they were 5. They're all good kids and normal. Anyone who gives you any sort of absolute answer ("never" or "always") isn't being realistic or honest.

Some families and culture are known to use a "family bed" where the whole family sleeps together every night, which has been known to promote a good sense of closeness and cohesiveness.

Opinions on this are pretty much like noses. Everyone has one and nobody's is particularly better than anyone else's. Probably the best answer is if people are uncomfortable then adjustments should be made, but if there's not a lot of room, the boy is relatively well-adjusted and functions normally at school and with friends, and everyone is comfortable, it's probably just fine.

Answer 4

It's never a good idea to have a child share your bed, it becomes very difficult to get them out of your bed as time goes on. Given the circumstances you describe, though, a handicapped young adult who needs a private bedroom due to equipment and such, and a teenage daughter still living at home who may be helping and contributing to the household it becomes a somewhat different situation. Eventually the young woman may leave home which will solve the problem, however, my suggestion to you would be to get a daybed and have it placed in the parent's bedroom or living/family room. Allowing a child to sleep in the same bed with the parent will cause problems for the child. It may become difficult for the child to learn to sleep alone, they may becomed frightened and experience frequent nightmares, in which case they end up back in the parent's bedroom and you're back to square one. Best if you encourage independence at an early age. Sleeping in the bed with a parent can then be saved for a time that a child may feel the need to be protected and or cherished. It can become a special treat. My children always recall the time they were able to sleep in bed with my husband and I as their time in a special cocoon.

Answer 5

Hi there, I don't think it's a good idea to ever start letting your child sleep in the same bed as the parents do and or adults. Kids have a sense of different behavior in that atmosphere. I don't believe it's a healthy habit to get into. It's find to allow your infant to take naps on the bed, but to set patterns of actual sleeping there all the time is not healthy for the child or for the adults. They need their space and private time just as much as an adult. Independence starts as soon as the baby is born. That's just one less thing that you have to wean the child from.
Or another alternative can be to put the baby crib in the room with you if you insists on being near the child during it's sleep hours.
Marseille

Answer 6

I guess I don't understand completely, if there are 3 bedrooms, is there one couple? Which leaves 2 bedrooms for the two people.

If not, well, find a solution: roll-away bed in the living room - something. If it is just 4 people in three rooms, surely there is a way to arrange this where you don't worry about what is going on.

Answer 7

3-4

Answer 8

I think it depends on the child and the parent. If he's not upset with it and mom/dad are ok with it.. Then leave it be!! At some point he will want his own space - or they will. And when that happens, you help find new solutions if its needed.

This sounds like a temporary situation or meant to only be a temporary situation. If your really concerned, see if you can help pay for some sort of bunkbed.

Answer 9

My first son slept with me until he was past two.Now I've got a new one sleeping with me.I would think it's a good idea to at least stop it before they start school.But then again,I don't really think it's a big deal if everyone is happy with it,if it goes beyond that.I would say definitely before junior high,though.The teasing would be awful.They stop doing things when they're ready,and it's usually not too long after they should.I'd be more worried if he had a pacifier at that age than co-sleeping.But,to each his own.

Answer 10

I know a family that has a family bed, their oldest is 10. Personally, I think it's a little weird, but whatever floats their boat. My kids NEVER slept in the room with me, they had their own room and own bed.