We've been together for years and I'm on birth control so I accused him off cheating or atleast planning to, and cut up everything he owned accept for the clothes he had on that day. We moved out for 2 weeks and he came back. Even though he came back, the relationship was really rocky for 5 months after the "Edward Scissorhands" incident and during those 5 months he cheated because he was hurt and unsure about whether he wanted to continue our relationship. Is his cheating justifyable because of what I did? Should I forgive him for cheating and just be happy that he still wants to be with me after destroying about 2,000 dollars worth of clothes and shoes? Honest nonjudgmental answers appreciated. Thanks.
2006-07-25 18:51:14 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
As the old saying goes "two wrongs don't make a right". You did stoop pretty low but not as low as he did. I personally think cutting up his clothes is a bit too much. The best thing you could have done was dump him and not take him back. Then go on with your life and be happy. I think that would've been the best revenge.You really can't complain now.You are still with him so I guess you will put up with almost anything. Be strong. Good luck!
2006-07-25 19:01:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys stray for a number of reasons. My guess is that he did cheat at some point prior to your discovery of the condoms in his car. Most often, if a man looks for sex outside of a relationship the relationship is already over in his mind. It doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you, or with the relationship per se. It's just that he has decided to explore what else is out there, or has made a break from you subconsciously.
What you did was childish. I understand that you were angry, but destroying his things exposed the fact that you either can't handle confrontation or the relationship itself. I realize that you felt that you were the injured party, but you failed to deal with the situation responsibly and as an adult.
His cheating is not justifiable for any reason. What you did was wrong, but his cheating is wrong too. Do not sell yourself short. The reason he's cheating now is because you let him come back after you caught him. Put your foot down. If he cheats again, kick his butt to the curb.
2006-07-26 02:08:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think it makes it justifyable, because cheating is with the heart and cutting his clothes was in a heated moment, I think that you both need to work on the trust issue, with you trusting him again with your heart, and him leaving clothes around you, I think you already know the answer since you've already gotten back together, it just sucks when the going gets rough and the work kicks in and you actually have to work at it, because just think if you make it and are still together in years and years, and move past all this, when you think of this in the future you'll laugh your butt off, because youve both moved on from it. Best of Luck to you two.
2006-07-26 01:59:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is never a good reason to cheat, he probably was really cheating before you got scissor crazy. Once a cheater, always a cheater. If you want to continue getting hurt (his cheating) stay with him. But if you want a healthy relationship, get out of your current one and find someone who will treat you right. You deserve better
2006-07-26 02:00:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you know what the answer is. I mean he cheated on you twice...theres no reason to cheat, he just felt that cutting clothes gave him another excuse to do that. Please. I would leave him, if a man drove me to the point to cut up his clothes...I probably wouldnt want to be with him, and I dont think you really want to, or deserve to. Good Luck :o)
2006-07-26 01:56:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonstar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to step outside of the box (relationship) and see how you view your own relationship. Weigh in the pros and cons...Think about everything that has happened, think about the cheating and think about all the good and bad in your relationship.
The only person that can determine if your relationship is over or if it is worth saving is you. You need to be the one to think about what you want to do and talk talk to him and tell him what you're feeling.
Good Luck!
2006-07-26 02:07:44 · answer #6 · answered by BbyGrl80 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a life, get out be on yr own. he will do it again and it is not justified for what he did. good on you for the damage you did i would have done worse lol. guys tend to put the blame back on us making us feel like we are the ones that did wrong. so find someone that will be honest and trustworthy.
2006-07-26 01:58:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he could have been cheating... but i dont think that what would give you reason to destroy his property... and after that, he had no reason to go cheat on you... i say you dump him and forget about that cheater... but he might sue you for destroying all that stuff so be careful and good luck
2006-07-26 01:57:13 · answer #8 · answered by baby bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybee they have been there from b4 or maybee u should be suspicious ya never kno but good luck gurl
2006-07-26 01:53:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey dear i think ki he used them to do masterbating . because i use these for mbate many times
2006-07-26 02:02:35 · answer #10 · answered by siddhulucknow214 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋