My daughter is gonna put me in a grave?

Question

My daughter turned 2 on June 3rd, mind you.. Im having to raise her alone as her mom doesnt want her.. anyways shes got to where she is just whining all the time. I put her to bed. and she wakes up crying , screaming, and what not. Any idea of what Im doing wrong? lol

for the guy that wants to comment my name. Yes My name is helluvahangover, that doesnt mean I drink all the time. and that damned sure doesnt mean I dont love my daughter. I have this as a name because I think its different. Yes I do drink on occasion. but that doesnt mean anything really.
For the info. I am a saved man. I do go to church on occasion, and overall. minus my flaws. I aint a bad guy..
so anyways. Ive done forgot what Im mumbling on about

heh. just saw the spanking answer. I wouldnt want to do that. that only worsens stuff..
Her mum has been gone for going on a year. So I dunno if shes still hanging on that or not.

Answer 1

can i say first of all im proud of you any father or mother strong enough to raise a child on there own has my praise. you are doing nothing wrong its a common stage in a childs development its also a learning experiance, i went through the same thing i have a 2 almost 3yr old as well and my husband has been gone for a year now what has worked for me the best is i added a night light i started giving baths (short ones) with lavender scented baby wash (its supposedly relaxing) before bed every night and i started reading short stories to her which not only helps her calm down but has increased her vocabulary immensely sometimes they need the light because they are scared and dont remember where they are which is why its very important to make sure they are awake when you lay them down or they wake up confused (this isnt where i fell asleep) and the bath and the reading helps them know that your there for them and it calms them down also sometimes laying down is painfull to children when i moved her dinner to earlier in the day i found she slept better less gas and less um accidents in her crib but sorry to say sometimes that just wont help and all you can do is check to see that they are ok offer some water and try to comfort them if they cant be comforted and you know that she is ok then you just have to leave her in the room it teaches them how to soothe themselves and not rely completly on another being for comfort also very important the wining might be partially because of the lack of good sleep foods that upset her stomach or just the fact that its very hard to tell someone you need something when you cant use all the words the wining will get a little better when she learns to speak more i really hope this helps and that you get more sleep good luck

Answer 2

Sorry about the judgemental people on this site, after a while, you'll get immune to them.

You're on the right track so far, not spanking, knowing what the 'terrible twos' are and still asking...

How long ago did you and her Mom split? Does she know her Mom? She could miss her Mom, or think you're gonna leave because her Mom did.

If your wife hasn't spent much time with her yet, it could be that your daughter needs to get to know everybody in the household before she feels comfortable.

Maybe she has nightmares, or maybe she just thinks she'll get out of having to go to bed, if you regularly give in to tantrums and whining.

My advice? Don't let it get to you. Two is the age when they're supposed to begin communicating their needs to you.

Be patient, and when she stops crying, she can tell you what is wrong. Is she speaking yet? If not, read books to her, often. Start with Alphabet books. They always communicate better if you give them the tools they need to do it.

Books not only expand their minds, but they're a good activity to do together, to make you a part of their world. It's called bonding.

If she is speaking, get her to tell you what's wrong. Don't accept crying and screaming, and definitely don't let it get to you. That's the quickest way to an ulcer.

She's young and healthy, she'll be here tomorrow, don't let crying be the end of the world for either of you. Kids make noise. Lots of it. Get used to it, and show her patience and smiles when she cries, not worry and stress. Life is too short to sweat the petty things.

Answer 3

Welcome to the terrible twos. The waking up screaming is called night terrors, quite common among two year olds. There isn't much you can do except go in and assure her that everything is ok. Ignore the whining, she is doing it because she knows you don't like it and will give her attention when you may not be able to give it. My suggestion is to first make sure there is nothing in her bedroom that can harm her, then get a child gate and put it in the doorway of her room, when she becomes whiny place her in her room and tell her that when she decides to stop whining you will be willing to listen to her. Then grab a pair of headphones and go on about what you were doing before the whining started, being sure to check on her every few minutes. This will take a bit of time but she will come to realize that she can't get your attention by whining.

Answer 4

Our friends have the same issue. Some ground rules and guidelines that have helped them.

1.)Any times she wines or has a fit, she gets told to stop, and put into a "time-out" in a specific location (the same one everytime) for 2-4 minutes. Then they explain to her what she did and that she needs to stop that.

2.) If she continues to act poorly after being in multiple time-outs she gets a spanking on her bare butt. Things can escalate from there to removing priveleges like nothing to drink but water, toys being taken away etc.

Bedtime:
No drinks with any kind of caffeine in them ever.
No drinks with sugar in them at least 2-3 hours before bed. No chocolate milk, no apple juice only water. She is put into bed the same time every single night rain or shine, happy or sad. Put her in bed, and read a story to her, even though you might think she doesn't understand just do it anyway. I'm sure she probably has a favorite book or she soon will if you read it to her. Get a nightlight and make any other sources of light unavailable or blacked out. Keep the noise in the living room or your room to minimum. Put those things on the door knob so she is trapped in (unless she's already potty trained). Other than that, just ignore her. She'll learn that she is on her own at "night-night" time and that its the time when everyone like daddy is sleeping. She can scream and freak out all she wants, but all that will effectively do is make her more tired if you leave her alone and she'll eventually crawl into bed and go to sleep.

Answer 5

You are not doing anything wrong. She is a normal two year old who is afraid you are going to leave her like the woman who gave birth to her. What I did when my daughter woke up crying was to go to her and pet her hair/head gently until she went back to sleep. Don't get her up or talk with her other than gently whispering to her that you love her, Daddy's here etc. Don't get mad at her she's just a baby. She will only be young for a flash in your lifetime and she'll be out on her own. As for the whining, I try so hard to ignore it. I know it's difficult. Now, my 7 yr old whines and I give her to the count of 3 to stop if I get to three she's out of there. In her room or the "penalty box" (our laundry room) for 7 minutes. It seems to help most days.

Answer 6

Oh Lord. My daughter has the Whinies, too. You just have to take a deep breath. I tell my daughter that "I don't speak Whineese" and make her ask/tell/demand whatever she is whining about to me in English before I will deal with her request/statement. Be persistent, don't let her succeed in her whininess. Take heart, Dad! It won't last forever. (Maybe it will, but we have meds now!!!) :-)
Oh yeah, with the fit...depends if you are up wit corporal punishment. Being a Dad w/o the help of a Mommy, you probably aren't too hip on it. Develop a night time routine, give bath, read a couple of books, then put her to bed. Tell her goodnight then leave. If she has a fit, try Ignoring the fit, but if she gets out of bed, return her right to it. Don't let her get her way, don't speak to her, no eye contact, just put her right back into bed. She'll get the hint, and it might take a few nights. Don't give up or give in, because then SHE WILL NEVER STOP WHINING or THROWING FITS to get her way! SCARY THOUGHT!!!!

Answer 7

Well I hate to spank my daughter too so I put her on time out!! When I say time out I mean find a corner in the house where she is safe and make her sit there and tell her why she is sitting there. Do this consistently... ever heard of "for every reaction is an opposite and equal reaction"!! Well try it!!......With kids you have to be consistent or it won't work!! Make her stay their a good while until you can get your bearings. You will find some relief and she will know that she can't continue to pull this crap with you!! Hope this helps...
Good Luck!!!

Answer 8

LMAO They don't call 'em THE TERRIBLE TWO'S for no reason!!!

You'll all live through it......although I'm sure there's days when you aren't sure if she's gonna see the next sunrise LMAO!!!

Great site for some advice on kids of all ages is posted below....

If she's waking up crying and screaming in the MIDDLE of the night it could be Night Terrors...my son had them....they will grow out of it...eventually....hang in there....the worst is yet to come.......11 more years and she'll be a teenager....appreciate the fact that right now you can put her in her crib at night and KNOW where she's sleeping and with WHO! (Winnie The Pooh at this stage.....)

Answer 9

chances are you are not doing anything wrong. When did her mom leave if it has been recently then chances are she is just dealing with the change. You have to imagine how hard it would be on her. When it happens just console her and make her feel better, she probably just wants to know you are still there. being 2 she doesn't know how to tell you what is wrong maybe she doesn't even know herself what is wrong. Just be patient it will get better I know I am a single mom with 3 boys ages 6 18 months and 3 months. hope this helps a little.

Answer 10

calm down all will be ok. See it something you have to work at, kids just dont go to bed its a process. Treat it like a job if you may... wake up at 6 am feed good breakfast, get some tv entertainment time, maybe a good puzzle or something,.... then some quiet alone playtime before a nice lunch...then a nap...after nap get out and do something, run play go ouside go to a park, anything that will be exhausting, then come home fix dinner, give a nice bath and im sure she go right to sleep!