my husband and I have been married for 10 years and have a 9 year old daughter. he is black and i am hispanic. when we started out my parents were against the relationship and even more so on the marriage. they disowned me. about 4 years into the marriage, I guess they realized if might actually work. and wanted to start a relationship with there grandaughter and with us. well now my husband has never been able to forgive them for them thinking that he wasn't good enough for me. he has a good job and we both work and he takes care of his resposibilities.I think they had this bias opinion about black people. should he let it go or should my parents apoligize to him formally. he doesn't even go to there house with me for visitations or hanging out . he only goes at christmas or a special occasion( like a birthday party or graduation.) they come to our house and he's civil to them and they are to him to, but that's as far as it goes. should I talk to them about apologizing to him?
2006-07-25 18:24:05 · 10 answers · asked by pd 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
By the sound of your story, your parents were very bias against your relationship and you are lucky that he is even civil to them. Let it go....he is not going to change and the more you dwell on it, the more he will resist. Be happy that your parents want to have a relationship with their granddaughter and let it be.
2006-07-25 18:29:20 · answer #1 · answered by fourcolor4u2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think time heals everything. It helps to make the pain bearable, but doesn't always make everything better or fix everything.
Your parents owe your husband (for allowing thier preconceptions of him/his race to make thier opinion instead of getting to know him like they would anyone else) and you (for not trusting in you to make the right decsion) a big apology. But even if they do, don't expect your husband to change his feelings towards them. Just be happy he's as hospitable as he has been. That is something he has to decide on. There is an act of trust there that is missing and by now might always be missing for him.
2006-07-26 02:06:48 · answer #2 · answered by myshira 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope. Time does not heal all wounds. Some wounds are too deep.
You made your choice because you had to right to make a choice. You have to live with that choice. You would be wrong to deny any one else their right to make a choice too. Just because they differ from you doesn't make their choice wrong for them.
If you and your husband are waiting for an apology, you may be waiting a long time. You should accept your parents and take what relationship they offer and move on with your life, or you should stop seeing them totally.
The ball is in your court.
TX Guy
2006-07-26 01:41:24 · answer #3 · answered by txguy8800 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They really hurt him by disowning you and not thinking he was good enough for you. You need to tell your parents how you feel and how he feels. I believe they owe him a HUGE appology, he has his priotities staight and has always faced up to responsibilty from what you say. You're parents need to respect him for being there for you for 10 years, and there for your daughter. They need to realize also, that it is your life and your decisions...It wasn't theirs. They owe you an apolgy as well you made the decision to marry him and they disowned you for it. There is never a valid reason for disowning someone. And just think, if you didn't have a child would they be in your life now? Probably not. They are not right for what they did, and you need to tell them.
2006-07-26 01:34:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents were wrong in how they judged him and thought it wouldn't work..but you have shown them it can...But you have to remember that they were only looking out for you..Your husband should be the bigger man and just let it go ...It's all in the past so why not just be one happy family...
2006-07-26 01:51:36 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ALL need to sit down and talk this over NOW.
If you do not get it all in the open then this wound will never heal.
Both sides should be honest.
If they want a relationship with him now, they should ask his (and your) forgiveness.
You MUST all talk for this to work.
Good Luck!
2006-07-26 01:36:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should and they should apologize. Yes he should let it go and be the bigger person, he proved his point by proving them wrong, he definitely deserves and apology though. Holding on to hatred does nobody any good so if they are willing to apologize and admit they are wrong he should be willing to accept it, although I wouldn't really blame him or make a fuss about it if he didn't. Good luck and congrats on your success!
2006-07-26 01:41:26 · answer #7 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be nice if your parents apologized. They were wrong about him, it may mend that fence.
2006-07-26 01:33:58 · answer #8 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They need to be told how your husband really feels and how much they hurt him.
2006-07-26 01:31:03 · answer #9 · answered by fayem7 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make them say it to him not him say it to them that would b crazy and just not right that is bin racist it is not cool every one is practically the same just different color or race or religion it is not fare
2006-07-26 01:47:36 · answer #10 · answered by KitKat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋