i see this angel crying in my bed
i see her staring at my head
i look at the window and see a dark shadow
i see a shadow with a knife
how come she doesnt like her life
i see her bleeding from her eyes
shes tired of all the fuking lies
the moon seems closer and closer
and the shadow screams louder and louder
how can imake her pain stop
how can i make her eyes shut
i i want her to fall asleep
but she doesnt wanna dream
shes scared of the night
all she wants is to fly
to jump and never land
i beggin to feel afraid
i cry and wake up
with blood in my eyes
2006-07-25 16:54:32 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Performing Arts
It doesn't start off well, but it definitely gets better toward the end. The imagery flows better, and it comes off as a tortured, haunting poem. I think I like it.
2006-07-25 17:00:22 · answer #1 · answered by lotsayorks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it..Its not the best but hey not all writings can be great. Its definitely got good imagery. You had a rhythmical pattern at the begging but then you lost it. If your gonna rhyme, all of it should or it breaks the flow.
2006-07-26 00:17:13 · answer #2 · answered by systematic_rebellion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love it
2006-07-25 23:59:31 · answer #3 · answered by PrincessBule7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kaka
2006-07-25 23:58:13 · answer #4 · answered by apple jacks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please don't ask me to read any more of that
2006-07-25 23:59:40 · answer #5 · answered by Mark 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋