confronting family members...?

Question

a few months ago i siggested to my cousin,who i thought i was really close to,that she get a myspace page-she refused saying that she thought she was too old for one( she's 28),and that she thought it was boring

well the other night i typed her email address into the search for members page and her profile popped right up!!!
but it was full of lies-like her age(she put 24),her marital status(she's engaged,she put single),her children(she has a 9 yr old,she put that she didnt want kids),and her job.

i never thought that she would do something like this-should i ask her about it or let it go???

Answer 1

I would ask very nicely. Not to make her feel bad, but just in case someone else sees it, she maybe able to save face.

Answer 2

You really can't let it go because her relationship with you is too important. You are right to be confused, but maybe she has a reason for withholding the entire truth about her life. So prepare how you want to talk to her about it. Remember it is always to use "I feel" and "I need . . . " statements.

So if you feel confused or frustrated by her response, then just say that.

If you feel like you need her to be more open with you about her activity on the internet, or for her to be more honest on the internet, explain to her why you need that.

She may not be able to give you the assurance that you need, but at least she will understand you better, and you will understand why she did what she did.

Then, try to erase all the "she should have done this, or she should have done that" Try to keep your expectations consistent with what she is willing and able to do.

Answer 3

Sometimes people do stupid things. I think you should talk to her, but be careful not to embnarss her. Somethging like Hey girl I saw your myspace page, Then, as you talk,you can ask her, as a friend, why she lied so much. Maybe your cousin need help, and maybe you can help.

What she did seems childish, but not bad. Just try to find out why someone at her age, with kids, needs to do something so childish.

Good luck

Answer 4

i comprehend the way you sense. Im a sufferer of both molestation and a rape. My father acted as if I deserved both one in all them. It turned right into a demanding time for me. It nevertheless is. yet your family individuals is contained in the denial level of issues, this happens alot at the same time as the guy has continuously been in sturdy standings with the family individuals and has shown no indications of being unusual round children. there is unfortunatley not something you may do to regulate your households innovations. i'm satisfied that your neice is getting counseling. that's the great element for her, yet i imagine you besides could because no individual could could carry that interior. continuously comprehend you'll continuously sense like a sufferer yet in case you do not seem contained in the rearview reflect you are able to stay a good existence. sturdy luck and message me in case you ever favor something.

Answer 5

let it go. Some people come to the internet and create profiles as alter-egos. They use it as a way to escape and sometimes to make them feel better. I would say hey I saw you on my-space and laugh. Let her tell you if she wants too or contact her through my-space and see what she says before you do. She might just tell you. Its not like she has done anytihing wrong.

Answer 6

Just let it go. Watch her make a fool of herself for the world to see. What is it about MySpace that people will put blatant lies about themselves?

Answer 7

You don't have to be confrontational about it, just sometime bring the conversation around to computers, myspace, etc, and in a joking way bring it up. See what she says. Hopefully she's not suckering somebody into her web!

Answer 8

Let it go. If you want to, you could casually mention it to her. It really isn't worth fighting about. It's just a Myspace page.

Answer 9

I personally would let it go. No one but her knows why she did what she did, and she's the one that's going to have to answer for it if her fiancee finds out. Maybe she just wants a little adventure before she gets married, who knows but it really is her business and no one elses.

Answer 10

If you are still interested in her friendship, you could ask her but not in a confronting or accusing way. I guess she is in good company if it comes to lying about personal details on the internet!