should i say something to my mother about her actions?

Question

i have serious mom issues i guess-heres my latest problem...

yesterday was birthday-all my friends,cousins im close to,my borther,and other misc family members called/sent cards... my MOTHER sent me an email-that simply stated 'happy birthday'
who here would be pissed/hurt/angry/depressed/livid etc????

would you say something or let it go????

also it brought up other issues-like how when i lived my father between the ages of 13 and 17 she never once called,wrote,sent a gift or anything for my birthdays or for christmas...my husband thinks i should say something !!!!!

very hurt and depressed over this!!!any real advice would be helpful!!

Answer 1

Hi Hun,
Im sorry that you are going through all this, ive been there myself.. If you have yahoo instant mess. message me there, we can chat.. I dont want to let the world know my life story lol.. But trust me ive been there done that and let go..
my im is : [e-mail]
or try : southernfrieddumplin

Hope to hear from you soon,
Jen

Answer 2

Hello IM. I am sorry to here about your issues with your mom. Unfortunately we can pick our friends but we can't pick our family. From what you have written I gather that your mom is just an insensitive and uncaring peson. You can talk to her. She may even go out and buy you a birthday card. However, what you really want from her is her love, not a birthday card. Would you really want a card from her knowing that it didn't come from her heart. Love is something that is unconditional. You either give it our you don't. It is not something that can be bought and it is not something that can be taught. As far as your mom is concerned all you can do is pray for her and move on with your life. I realize that it may be hard, but it sounds to me like you have a husband and a lot of other relatives and friends who both love and care a great deal about you. Whenever you are down I want you to focus on that. If that doesn't give you the inner peace you seek and deserve, you can always turn to God. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer. It has worked for me on many occasions and I know it will work for you. I will be praying for both you and your mom. Peace and God bless.

Answer 3

Well thank god i come from an issue free family. I think you have to respect your mom even though sometI'mes you may not feel she cares, im sure she does.. But if it really is bothering you if would approach her in a nice way, without causing a fight.. cause that could cause you even more hurt depression. My mom only sent me an ecard for my birthday... It seems like this goes back quite far and maybe your just resentful towards her cause she may not have been there for you. But If it bothers you that much, yeah id have a nice chat with her... but don't do it cause your husbands wants you to, do it because you want to...

Answer 4

You should make a time for you and your mom only to sit down and have a really long talk. Don't do it at your home and not at hers either. Make it neutral ground. Tell her whats bothering you and why. If she is any kind of mother she will listen and answer. Just don't put her on the defensive right off the bat. Take it slow and tell her this is really important to you and you have to have some answers before moving on with your life. If she can't/won't answer you and she just walks out then you may never get your answers but you will know you tried and she was the one that refused not you.

Answer 5

Well, I'm not sure about your family dynamic or how close you are to your mom, but could you call her up / sit down with her and just say, "I was a little bummed that I didn't get to see you for my birthday, mom. But thank you for thinking of me like you did, it made me feel good just hearing from you. Next weekend, maybe we could do something, just me and you. You know, have our own girls day?" Just say it as sincerely as possible. You won't get anywhere starting out angry. That might make her realize that you really did want to see her, but that it wasn't JUST about not getting a present or anything like that. Obviously you can edit it to better fit your needs, but maybe it will help you two become closer if you can just communicate!

Answer 6

You love your mother, you should talk to her. If you don't tell her what is on your mind she will never know. You may want to write her a letter on an email... if you try to talk to her in person, you may cry or yell. Just try to write a letter to say that you are hurt and depressed because you don't feel like she loves/cares for you. Just open the lines of communication between the two of you.

good luck.

Answer 7

You should say something. Ask her why she didn't send you a card or call when you were living with your dad. Maybe she just didn't like him after whatever happened happened. If she was my mother, I would ask her if she still loves me for who I am today. Since she didn't say love you or how've you been after she sent the email. Best of Luck!

Answer 8

i comprehend she is your mom, in spite of the shown fact that it is your condominium so regardless of if it quite is making you unhappy you're able to desire to guard it. you're able to desire to have some floor policies. i think of your mom and her b/f are taking you for a holiday. If she is residing on your condominium, then she might desire to pay a million/2 the applying costs and nutrition. you're basically 23 so i don't think of it quite is honest to you what is going on. in case you think of you would be happier not having her around, you're able to desire to tell her in a tactful way. it quite is completely organic so which you will sense this way - i does not desire my mom residing with me and that i'm 39! in case you like the hire, i might get your mum to circulate out and get a lodger - yet in the previous you do - be sure you have some floor policies - that way, each and every thing is clean. whilst it quite is family, it quite is greater sturdy to have those as you have found out. stable success

Answer 9

yes, you should say something and get it off your chest. additionally you should do some self esteem and self respect work so the actions of others won't get to you so much. also, look into codependency becaues that's what is keeping you reacting badly to your mom's bad behavior.

Answer 10

looks like she may be having lots of issues of her own that she badly needs to solve, she even seems numb for what you tell.

talk to her, go sit down and talk for a while... she may be even more troubled and in more suffering about her situation.