When he gets mad he cries and says pick me up. I can't always pick him up and hold him for hours. I have tried sending him to his bedroom, the nuaghty chair and he always just comes out or gets down. I am trying not to loose control but I need help!
2006-07-25 16:23:27 · 18 answers · asked by weight watchers 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
you really need to do a few things. the first is to never ever reward a tantrum. If he throws a tantrum (actually if you can catch him right before he throws the tantrum it's better) tell him calmly and quietly (he'll have to hush a bit to hear you) "I can't understand you when you are whining (or crying or screaming or whatever). When you can ask me nicely I'll pick you up." If he can't ask nicely then you have a few options
Spanking - this is tricky. I'm not opposed to spanking, but some kids who are looking for attention would rather be spanked and yelled at than left alone. So you may need to look at another choice.
Walk away- this works well for willful children who are really trying to control you. Keep in mind that if you stomp off angry he will know he's got you. Keep calm
Talking- Explaining why you can't take the time to hold him at that moment works well for some kids. This works best if you give them a time when you can hold him ie "Honey, I have to put dinner in the oven, but I can hold you after I'm done. Give me 15 minutes". The problem with this one is that you have to really mean it.
Quick hugs - Some kids will be satisfied with a quick hug (leave his feet on the floor) saying "I love you sweetie" while hugging him. Then give him something to do to help you "Could you set these plates on the table for me?"
Secondly, you need to schedule a specific time to read and cuddle with him. First thing in the morning and before bed seem to be good for most kids.
Lastly, get some time alone. You need a break, even if it's only enough time to take a hot bath without the kids knocking on the door.
Good luck
2006-07-25 17:11:54 · answer #1 · answered by iahp_mom 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You need to get firmer discipline for the kid. Of course the "naughty chair" isn't working because kids sit all day and putting them in a chair isn't going to work as discipline. The kid needs to be spanked. He'll never expect it which is why it'll work. It should always be a last resort though. As for the wanting to be held when he's mad it sounds to me like he just wants your support. Don't pick him up, ignore his tantrums. Walk away until he can calm down and then ask him what he wants.
2006-07-25 23:28:48 · answer #2 · answered by BeeFree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you cant hold him 24/7. But.. does he get mad 24/7? If so, then you have a very sad little boy. Whats the big deal...just pick him up and hug him. he is telling you what he needs, so why not just do it. Sounds like he needs you to soothe himself. meanwhile, you can think of other ways to teach him to soothe hisself...maybe a certain toy, or a song. Why would you punish him for wanting to be held by you?
2006-07-25 23:30:26 · answer #3 · answered by batsey99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd let him continue to have his tantrum until he stops and realizes that you aren't going to give into it. Then...pick him up and let him know that you will hold him "not all the time" but ONLY when he is NOT having a tantrum. If this doesn't work, just ignore his tantrums altogether each time he has one...I had to do this to break my now six year old of her tantrums when she was that age.
2006-07-26 00:51:49 · answer #4 · answered by sbhb090896 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that you should be very firm with your punishment and discipline. Make sure you never back down from what you say you're going to do if he misbehaves. If you give in or back down just a little he will learn your weakness. I feel that the secret is to never ever back down. I don't know the source of the tantrums but if its from telling him to behave you should stand firm and not pick him up. Of course these are my opinions.
2006-07-25 23:44:25 · answer #5 · answered by Lane B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Allocate some time 4 him alone picking him up and cuddling him then return to your chores.He want attention from u and not the naughty chair hold him for a bit each day at different times that's unexpected then return him to his regular routine.
2006-07-25 23:30:05 · answer #6 · answered by mf mf mf mf mf fmf mf mfmfmfmfmf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this always works at the daycare i work at: when the child has a fit tell him "I do not talk to you like that, you do not talk to me like that. when u are ready to be a big boy then we will talk about why your upset." then ignore him until he calms down. but do remember to go back and actually talk to him about whats bothering him. Also..do not pick him up at all. Its not needed..set aside a certain time of day everyday called cuddle time. You are not being a bad parent by teaching him how to be a little more indapendant.
2006-07-25 23:51:12 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh the thrashing "3s" I do remember them. Now I have grandchild who tried that and from experience I found that when they want to throw a tantrum.. put them in front of a mirror in a room by themselves , let them watch themselves have there fit and tell them ...when your done you can come out .however if they come out crying ...send them right back to the mirror and be firm about telling them to watch themselves and only when they are done can they come out of the room ...peace...:)
2006-07-26 03:29:23 · answer #8 · answered by Kristy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds yo me like he needs to be ignored until he realizes that tantrum throwing is not the way to get attention. It's hard to do, but that's what it takes.
2006-07-25 23:28:16 · answer #9 · answered by Blues Man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he's convinced that he has authority over you, versus they other way around. My suggestion is, while not being too harsh, don't be afraid to show him some backbone. Start taking away privilages or something that he likes- just make sure you tell him that you are not his personal slave.
2006-07-25 23:29:03 · answer #10 · answered by Michael G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋