Our 17 year old stormed out of the house, says she moved in with her grandma over a week ago. We have kept tabs on her, but left her alone. She stormed in tonight blaming us, yelling at us that we don't care nor love her. How do we deal with this?
2006-07-25 16:20:15 · 24 answers · asked by softtail1967sam 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
my sister ran away to her friend's house when she was 17 (2 years ago) my parents figured if they tried making her move back in, she'd just fight it, so they let her stay with her friends. She had to pay rent there, but she managed just fine (for about a month) My parents invited her over for dinner a few days a week and some nights she did come home for supper. They didnt put any pressure on her, and eventually they were able to talk and figure out the reasons why she felt that she couldnt live with them. They made a list of "rules" that both my sister and my parents could live with and she is now living back at home and the whole family is getting along great. You have to understand that 17 year old girls think they hate their parents (i did at one point too) but they don't, they just think they do. I think she needs your support now more than ever. Just be glad that she's with someone you can trust and you know where she is.
2006-07-25 16:27:13 · answer #1 · answered by Mandy 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, coming from someone who was once an aweful teenager, the first thing you have to do is, NOT LET HER BLAME YOU. You see... being a teen is a very hard time for most youth, and even harder now than when you or I were children. There is A LOT more things influencing the way a child behaves.
A good guilt trip from a teenager is sometimes their only weapon, and believe me I used tons... What is up to you now is if you believe it is your fault that she is a hormone struck teen... It happens.
The best thing I can tell you is, sometimes they need space, and others they guidence and being watched over. The best thing to do is give a good balance of both. You did great with keeping tabs but leaving her alone. She came back didn't she? You see maybe to her, she was nervous about coming home at all, knowing she screwed up, so in order for her to feel better, she blamed YOU.
Hope this helps! Good luck to you!
2006-07-25 16:28:31 · answer #2 · answered by Cutelilminxy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you love her so much that you will not allow her to hurt herself or put herself in danger. WE all make mistakes and running away doesn't do any good. The problem is still there and it only makes things worse. Tell her that if it happens again, because of your love and responsibility, you will be forced to report her as a runaway to the police and that will stay on her record until she is eighteen. The consequences for this are if she is unaccompanied without an adult at any time she will still be listed as a runaway, even if she is at the mall with her friends. The police can pick her up and hold her until you are able to get her. Or, they can take her to juvenile hall.
Ofcourse, tell her with tears that you never want that to happen, but, legally as a parent you must protect her.
2006-07-26 00:40:07 · answer #3 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
counseling,dr phil, something because this girl obviously doesnt respect you enough to stick around and talk about things. and you are diffenitly letting (yes letting) her get away with anything and everything at this point. she is controling you when you should be controlling her. she's got a lot to learn and from the looks of the way your handling things..(letting her blame and yell at you) it looks like you need to learn a lot too.you need to see somebody. set boundries for her. be consistant. and tighten up rules and if you dont have any rules...make some. oh and consequences. not exactly in that order but the more this uncontrolable teenage girl storms about is completely unacceptable and should not be tolorated. she must be delt with because the older she gets..the worse things will become. trust me on that one. and i no shes already seventeen but you dont want her to go out into the world without ..(not sure how to put it) the proper upbringing. its obvious she wants your attention...so..give it to her. you . her and some sort of couseler..watever. give it the works. not to work against her but to work with her and figure out wat to do..together. well..i hope what i said gives you an idea or two about what to do next. and i hope everything works out for the best. and good luck. shes a teenager. so its gunna be a wild ride.
2006-07-25 16:40:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 3 girls 21 15 12 and first of all at 17 i would drag her right back home!Then whatever it is or was going on can be dealt with not with her living with grandma either.And all the yelling tell her to simmer down with all that.your the parent show her you love her by going to get her or she will never forget you didnt care enough to bring her home.
2006-07-25 16:31:56 · answer #5 · answered by mrs.answer all 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off you need to voice the fact that she is showing no respect. She needs to remember you guys are the parents. You call the shots, not her. If you wants to go off on her own, you need to make sure her grandma is willing to take her in and that your daughter doesn't take advantage of her. You guys need to sit down with her and talk about the situation. Arguing,yelling,and storming out does NO good.
2006-07-25 16:25:36 · answer #6 · answered by Noah's Mommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you love her and you want her to come home. Tell her you want want to hear about what she's going through and you want to help her the best you can. Tell her the only way you can do that is if she comes home. When she's 18 she can leave and never see you again. So do everything you can. Listen to her, and don't yell back because you're angry. Hug her and tell her everything will be all right. Wish you luck.
2006-07-25 16:28:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whats with grandma? I would pack the rest of her things and send her on down the road and tell her when she can act like a lady and not an immature brat, she can come back and talk.
2006-07-25 17:03:11 · answer #8 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy, cut her off. Dont buy her cloths food or anything. Cut off the power in her room and make her get a job. Make her help pay the bills since she is acting like she doesn't need you. If she wants to act like an adult treat her how the real world would. If not just send her to juvie. P.s. get tough dont let her walk all over you.
2006-07-25 16:26:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Have you thought about sitting down with her and asking her why she feels this way? What you both can do to rectify this situation? Get HER to talk instead of telling her she should do this and she should do that. Ask her what she wants and if its reasonable let her have it, dont yell at her though, she will get worse and you could lose her.. And im sure you dont want that..
Jen
2006-07-25 16:27:24 · answer #10 · answered by nichols5072@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋