What are these women who go to college and grad school telling thier daughters? That you should do exactly what your mother does, that your just once you get out of college is to clean and cook and take care of kids, to depend solely on a man? I don't understand how any mother can set this sort of example for thier daughters. I think married women should be indepedent not dependent on men, and that parents should be parenting in teams. If you are a stay at home mom, that means that the father hardly gets to spend any time with the kids, you would think a good father would want to spend as much time with the kids as the mom. Even if you tell your daughter she can be whatever she wants, you are her primary example, and if you are a housewife, you are just teaching her to dependent, that the man "Has" to be the breadwinner and that is all a woman is good for.
2006-07-25 16:15:24 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Because they are bad mothers. They thinking that "running" a household requires an advanced degree. I am sorry, but that is BS. Women can run a household on an elementary education. I am so sick of all of these women that were once housewives and now complaining that thier husbands have left them and they have no way of supporting themselves. They need to grow up.
I am so sick of women who think just because they are women they can stay home with the kids while the husband goes to work all day. Any good father would want to spend time raising the kids just as much as the mom. I wish they would stop complaining how much work it is, a good couple is a team and shares the work, and the rearing of the children.
I think it is really selfish of any woman who would expect to be supported by a man who never gets to spend any time with his children because he is always at work.
2006-07-25 16:23:52 · answer #1 · answered by Rose 4 · 2⤊ 8⤋
What they are telling their daughter is they have a choice when they are grown up. They are telling their daughters that there is nothing wrong with being smart and being a stay at home mom. They are telling their daughters that if they want to they can stay with their kids all day. And alot of stay at home moms do work with their husbands as a team. She gets done things during the day while the husband is at work. Also you say that the father will never get to see the kids because of work. Well dont you think if the mother works that will take away from the kids to see her. Lets see dad is already gone 8 plus hours a day now you want the moms to be gone that long to or longer. And finally would it not be the same thing for a women to have a good job and her daughter see her going off to work every day. Thinking moms says i can be whatever i want to be. But she cant be a stay at home mom because her mother works?
2006-07-25 19:18:45 · answer #2 · answered by amber h 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is telling them that they can do anything they want and that education is important.
Being a housewife does not make you less of a person or below anyone.
And because a mom stays home that means dad can't spend time with kids? So mom isn't supposed to spend time with kids either? So who raises the kids???
Feminist fought so women could have the right to choose if they wanted to work or not. Not so that ignorant people could say if you don't work you are teaching your daughter to always rely on a man.
It's all about choice and making your own.
2006-07-25 16:27:34 · answer #3 · answered by turtle43761 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
i suppose that a woman who graduates from high school and college and then becomes a housewife is telling her daughters that no matter what you choose to do with your life, work or no, that it is important to have an education and to be a knowledgeable person. i don't think these women are wasting their opportunities, i only wish i could be a stay at home mom instead of waiting till five to see my son everyday. parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world and being a housewife is not laying on the couch all day eating bon bons. trust me, i was one in the past. a housewife's job doesn't end at five p.m. you don't get to go home from work. as for being dependent on another's income, this is a personal choice. i think if you can make it on one income, this is a wonderful thing. being a room mom at school, getting to chaperone field trips, helping organize school functions, and spending the entire summer with the kids. what a way to be a part of their life! i don't think housewives are teaching their children to be "dependent on a man." maybe they are showing their daughters that there are many choices out there for women nowadays. thankfully some of us have the financial ability to make those choices. i wish i could.
2006-07-25 16:26:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
My mom was a stay-at-home that never got her BA, and here I am in college! Strange, isn't it? Still, with all of the stories I've heard from friends/relatives with kids in daycare, I don't really want to entrust my future children to someone else... but I'll make that choice when the time comes.
What these mothers are telling their daughters is that they are important to them, and that they will have the freedom to choose. These mothers likely worked a while before CHOOSING to stay home with their children. Some women I know who stay home worked for several years first and saved their salary for when they had kids - and their families are still living off of both incomes. Staying at home is no longer forced on women, and yet many women still want to do so. I think it's very healthy to be able to choose.
That said, I think your opinion is a valid one and I guess we know what choice you will make. Just don't badmouth others' decisions - what if the one thing your daughter wants to be is a stay at home mother some day?
2006-07-25 16:24:18 · answer #5 · answered by amarie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the moms are showing their children that being a mom is more important than being an executive for a company. Also just because a man works doesn't mean he doesn't spend time with his children. He can work a 40 hour week and still have time with them. What you are suggesting is that both the mom and dad work so that the children are left home in the afternoons to become latch key kids. Your argument reaches to the highest level of ingnorance.
2006-07-25 16:22:15 · answer #6 · answered by Billy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on the situation. I would tell my children that I love her and wanted to be there for her and raise her because she will be grown up before she knows it. Being a mother is a job and it is a 24 hour job.You do get paid for it, just not with money. The way a mother gets paid is with love and knowing what and where they are. There are so many parents working and not being there with their kids. I don't believe that it would be teaching them that the man should be the breadwinner. It just teaches them that you love them!
2006-07-25 16:27:19 · answer #7 · answered by erica/gabriel 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Here is one thing no one else has mentioned (and there are lots of good answers - none you will like, but still wonderful answers). Generally speaking, men whose wives stay at home earn more money. Why? Because he doesn't have to miss work if the children are sick. He can work late because he doesn't have to pick his children up from a baby sitter (thus he is precieved to be a team player). I support my husband. We are a team.
We chose for me to stay home and I do work! If you have a little one or three at home all day, they can sure make a mess! We do without alot of stuff we enjoyed when I was working. But we are rewarded ten fold. A babysitter didn't see our son's first steps. I don't have to worry that he is being properly cared for. We didn't miss his first word.
They are only little for a moment. I have never, ever heard anyone say,
'I wish I had worked when my children were small". But I have heard lots of mom's comment wistfully that they wished they had stayed at home with their little ones. I talked to a lady just a few days ago that said she didn't know why they hadn't just done without a few things and she could have stayed home with the children.
2006-07-25 16:58:32 · answer #8 · answered by Mustang Gal 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
That man that ""Has" to be the breadwinner" is my daughter's father. My husband is a very hardworking man who supports his whole family. He is showing all of us love when he works hard and he when he gets home from work he doesn't need to do hours of shared housework or groceries because I've looked after that already. If he wishes, he can spend that time with the girls.
I do have a college education. My daughters know that. They know that I did well in school and worked before they were born. They look up to me and think that I know everything. It makes me smile when the look to me with admiration. My girls know I love them and that they come first now. They respect me and I think I am a good role model for them. We tell our children that we wish for them to continue their education after highschool if they so wish. We will also be very happy if they so decide to stay home with their children some day.
2006-07-25 16:29:12 · answer #9 · answered by Momasita 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
well, maybe all she means is that going to college is important, which it is. but if you ever get married and things don't work out, you have something to fall back on. I also see your point about the dad spending time with the kids too, that is equally important to the kid and the father. so what your saying is dad wouldn't have to work as hard if mom worked also. TRUE! but i think that your kids" parents" has obviously talked about it and decided that it was best for the kids. i wish i could be a stay at home mom. my house would be alot cleaner than it is, and i could make a 3 course dinner everynight for my family. But NOOO WE BOTH HAVE TO WORK,we own our own business and its alot of work and our youngest sure hates it because we dont have that tight family bond. i would love to spend more time with my girls.
2006-07-25 16:28:00 · answer #10 · answered by jan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from experience, I can say that having one parent at home all the time is better than having NO parent home at all! Also, having been college-educated, I can say that I have some of the smartest kiddos around because of it! Just because you get a degree and don't get a job in the field doesn't mean you aren't using the knowledge.
Besides, you are the only Mommy your kids will ever have!! Why send them to daycare to have someone else raise them?
Much Love!!
2006-07-25 16:21:03 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋