what punishment (if she deserves one) should I give my daughter?

Question

My girl turned 12 and is now a B cup. I decided she had to wear a bra. She did'n't like the idea but I was firm - I agree Im a somewhat protective mom. Despite her complaints, I said she would really wear one because she needed one, it was for her best and since she refused and I loved her so much, I had no choice other than to force her. And so I did, though with all my love. Since she needs support and is a bit immature on this point, I chose her bras myself and got her bras that give full coverage. She didnt like them, said she wouldn't wear but, again, I used my motherly authority. She got a bit mad at me, but she's a good girl and ended up obeying. But I got to know she took off her bra when she left home and put it on again before coming back - a childisdid but wrong thing. She ended up telling the truth ith, apologized and said it was cause she doesnt like those bras. I'm not sure if I should punish her, maybe a light lesson just to make her think a bit. She cant disobey

Answer 1

Don't punish her yet. Take her to the mall and let her pick out her own bra, if she finds one that she likes then she will want to wear it and you won't need to force her.

Answer 2

Kids, by their very nature will disobey..

it's how they become independent from parents.. the more a parent 'forces' one way, the more the child will resist..

If you are always authoritarian, your child will find ways, some subtle, some not so subtle, to resist..

The point that you chose the bras for her, means she has absolutely no say in the matter.. and that's a recipe for disaster..

My wife has a neat trick with our three kids.. she gives them choices.. but they are choices tailored to what she ultimately wants to accomplish.. i.e, you're becoming a woman now, let's 'celebrate' it by buying a bra.. do you like 'A' "b" or 'C' kind of thing.. she's been doing it since they were toddlers.. on a winter day, which shirt do you want to wear, and gives them two choices..

Bottom line, is you are being unilateral in your decision making, and by proxy, telling her that her opinion doesn't matter..

Answer 3

Lighten up, Mom. They are her bras and she should feel like becoming a woman is an honor. Tell her why it is important to wear a bra and that there are many different types. Take her to a fancy store and let her pick out some that she likes. Kids are into sports bras, etc. Let her take pride in being a woman and feeling good because of it. Sounds like you have a great girl. Don't let this damage your relationship. She will learn that it is okay for parents to make a mistake.........and admit to it. And that you really care about her feelings and are proud of the fact that she is growing up.

Answer 4

I agree that she should not disobey, and I had to wear a b-cup when I was 10, BUT she should pick her own because just because they look like they offer complete coverage does not mean they are comfortable.

Also, where I can see (theoretically) the value of a middle school kid wearing a bra, research has shown that they are not healthy to wear, ESPECIALLY if they are not comfortable.

Punishment has no value. As far as discipline, something minor. You should let her pick out her own bras to wear, and make her try them on before buying. You can steer her towards "full coverage", but you're not wearing them and they need to be comfortable to her.

Answer 5

It was so much easier 20 years ago. Women wanted to wear bras and men didnt.
Now it is reverse. SHow her pictures of women who have not has support in the boob area or take her to a nursing home where she can get the full effect. As a majority women are not wearing bras now and leave nothing to the imagination. Teach her modesty before all things. It is just a trend we hope will die down soon!!!! What is she doing that she dosent need one?

Answer 6

I think that she's proably embarrased because her friends will know that she's wearing it and at 12, she may still feel like she wants to be a kid, even though she wants to be treated like an adult. There are a lot of cute bras out there that she could wear without feeling like an "old lady" You could also get a sports bra- it may not look as scary to her as the ones that you bought for her. I wouldnt punish her, she told the truth, and not wanting to grow up is a natural part of growing up- but i would make her wear one!

Answer 7

I don't think you should punish her.

I also don't think you should force her so harshly to wear a bra. Is it really necessary? I know WOMEN who don't wear bras because they are uncomfortable. Maybe your daughter will grow out of it. Maybe not. For now, maybe you should either let her choose her own bras, or if she still doesn't want them, buy her fitted camis to wear beneath her regular shirts. Camis are a good alternative so that braless-ness isn't that apparent.

Answer 8

I think that a good punishment would be some type of extra chore. If ya have a garden make her pull out all the weeds while you garden. Something like that. It makes her do something she wouldn't normally do, and it also involves you which makes it less of a harsh punishment

Answer 9

He could be imprissoned for twenty-four years and caught residing in a hallway sized room. I additionally can't think of this subject with the 6-7 infants that have been born from this subject...

Answer 10

don't punish her, at least not alot. she acted out of self conciousness, which isn't a reall wrong thing. just explain why she should wear a bra and make her promise not to take it off in the future.