whenever i hav an argument with my partner, i usually end up doing things to hurt myself to end the arguement, if not he wil go on and on. its only when i have blew my top then he wil "cool down" and ask why am i over reacting and make it as if i'm the one in the wrong. normally i wil juz walk away but he wil not allow. so i tried throwing things, sweeping the food from the table, jumping down from a moving vehicle, knocking my head against the wall. recently i told him if he still so persistent i will jump down from a building. i really felt drained. can anyone help?
2006-07-25 15:21:15 · 9 answers · asked by alfred n 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Heard someone said, we need only 3 second to fall in love, but we need 30 years to learn how to live together with our partner. Its seem that both of you can't handle the emotion of each other....u should give a serious thought, whether both of u are compatiable...
2006-07-25 16:25:29 · answer #1 · answered by Tan D 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Honey, I've been there before. This guy is a class A jerk! And he won't change. That's their MO. They pick fights with you, belittling you into believing you're the terrible one in the relationship (in reality, it's him who's the monster), won't settle until he gets a big reaction from you. And as soon as he does, he makes himself the victim and makes you think that you should be thankful that he puts up with your antics. Sweetie, you don't need this and you deserve better. This is abuse, verbal and emotional. And it'll only get worse the more it goes on. When he isn't there, pack your stuff and leave. Tell him in a note or on the phone that you never want to see or speak to him again. And be true to your word. Cut him off completely. It'll take a while, but he'll get the hint. More importantly, if he tries to pick a fight with you, act like you could care less whether he's ticked or not. He could die tomorrow and you'd be like oh, well. That got mine to shut up for a bit. They want a big reaction out of you. Don't give it to him and let him scream. Eventually, he'll stop. But if you don't leave the situation, it could get worse. Get yourself out and find a better guy. Trust me they are out there. Good luck!
2006-07-25 22:29:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion you need to get out of this particular relationship. He wont allow you to walk away and cool off is a bad thing to do. Anger makes us do all kinds of things that otherwise we would not do. He knows your breaking point but continues to push you to that limit as well as not letting you walk away and chill out. Seems like you both have clashing anger moments and since anger is just part of human emotions that we all deal with from time to time, your partner will not accept the fact you deal with anger differently that you do and vice versa. I feel its in your best interest to look elsewhere for a new partner. If you continued in another relationship and got angry to the point you started hurting yourself again.. I would seek some professional help. Remember.. life is too short to be miserable.. Find out what the problem is.. it might just be the way your partner handles things to you, and it might just be your partner entirely that you cannot deal with. I know I have problems accepting constructive criticism from certain people. and its all the "way " they come across.. not necessarily their intentions or anything personal.. it just the way I have interpreted it or the way they said it. Good Luck
2006-07-25 22:34:42 · answer #3 · answered by Peanut Butter 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out of this relationship. If the only way to end an argument is to injure yourself, this is the breaking point.
Tell your partner that if you can't have reasonable discussions without him egging you into hurting yourself, then you will have to leave. Then back up your words with actions.
2006-07-25 22:25:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that you are giving your partner more power than he can handle. Remember, he can not make you do or feel anything that you do not allow. Your reactions are far too predictable in rewarding him for arguing with you; his secondary gain is in getting a "rise" out of you. Make life more exciting and challenging for him by changing your reaction. Ask yourself: what do I want from my partner, e.g., respect, agreement, praise, sympathy, and what might I be willing to do differently to get it. Be creative. It takes two to argue, and only one can be "right." So, take a different approach. Something like: "Oh, no thanks, Honey...no more bait for me. I'm already stuffed." Whatever approach you take, the road to recovery here begins with your first step toward taking responsibility for your own thoughts, feelings, and choices and not making the mistake of ascribing that responsibility to someone else--especially a loved one!
2006-07-25 22:44:07 · answer #5 · answered by justinteim4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him. If this what you're doing to yourself, it's completely insane. You're doing emotional and physical damge to yourself.
Here. I have an idea:
Write down all the good things on 1 side of paper, then write the bad things on the other side. See which one has more. If the good outweighs the bad, keep him. If not, dump him.
2006-07-25 22:26:37 · answer #6 · answered by Lavina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your arguments go to this extreme it's not a healthy relationship at all. I think you need to sit an think about why you want to be with this person. Do you really want to be with someone that causes you to act this way?
2006-07-25 22:24:48 · answer #7 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This type of behavior can be dangerous. Seek some counseling and perhaps medication.
2006-07-25 22:24:46 · answer #8 · answered by curiousgeorgia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get away while you can it will only get worse
2006-07-25 22:40:33 · answer #9 · answered by beenwiredon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋