At what point is one committing fornication (or adultery)?

Question

I have a friend whose wife cheated on him (made out with other guys, since being married to him)... They've been separated for over two years, because of this...

...The thing is -while she admits to 'fooling around' and 'making out' with other guys- she refuses to admit that she 'went all the way' and had intercourse...

He's very spiritual (Jehovah's Witness, to be exact), and so he is remaining married to this woman, since he doesn't have proof that she committed adultery, and he doesn't want to break his vows by divorcing her without the proper spiritual grounds...

...So, my question is, does he already have enough proof; given that she admitted to doing other things with dudes since they've been married?

...If possible, answers from actual Jehovah's Witnesses would be best, since that is the specific religion this is all dealing with, and it's what he will listen to most...

Thanks for any help given; I appreciate it! ...Help me free this guy!

Wow, hot topic, I guess... First question I've asked that blew up like this...

...Just to be clear, if just thinking about sex with someone else is enough, does that mean he should be free to divorce this chick and marry someone else, without considering it a sin? ...Thanks for all the great answers, btw! :)

Answer 1

Everyone defines the cheating "event horizon" in their own way. For some, it's the thought that counts, for others, penetration has to happen. For some, they firmly believe in the "500 mile" rule (if you're more than 500 miles away, you're not married). Everyone's marriage is different.

In my marriage, I consider sexually oriented touching to be adultery and so does my guy. For example, holding a woman's hand to help her cross a grate because she's in high heels is okay. Holding her hand because there's attraction is wrong. Making out crosses the boundary to us and would be proper spiritual grounds. You just don't make out with someone and call it non-sexual. Apparently, that's not the case with your friend or he's unsure whether or not he can consider this adultery.

If you want to help your friend, encourage him to speak with his clergyman. If he feels like he's been cheated on, but isn't sure if it's enough to satisfy the church he believes in, then he should be able to speak with an elder of his church to have his question answered. If nothing else, many people find peace from counseling sessions with their clergy.

I don't think that you, personally, can help him any more than you already have been--by being supportive and a friend. Just keep looking out for him and remember that even if you think she's a total skank, he loved her enough to marry her and if you can't respect her, at least respect his love. Not that I think you don't already, but it's a helpful caveat, right?

Answer 2

Well, I"m not a Jehovah's Witness, nor do I study the Bible, but I'm pretty sure that, in the more orthodox circles, even thinking about other men while married is considered adultery. So if that's the way it is for J's Witnesses, then this guy should be free, free as the wind. Some people believe that any kind of sexual activity (which includes making out) is adultery. Bottom line, this guy can most definitely find something to back up his claim of adultery. Wish him luck for me! Or...I don't know if he believes in luck...tell him he's got people on his side. :D

Answer 3

I am going with the other answers if it is in your heart it is already a sin and you are guilty. To me on a personal note is why would someone that is so into church me making out with a bunch of guys that is adultery, and she should be the one filing for divorce cause she has some problems in her marriage and if she is not a God fearing woman and he is then he has grounds for divorce simply because she is doing ungodly things and making him feel feeling and going through pain and making him angry which is against the word. She is not worthy of his love and if he stays he will have a lot of trust issues and he will need to totally forgive her

Answer 4

Ok, do you remember how Jesus talked about that under the laws of Moses it is written that you should not commit adultery, but then goes on to say that even lusting in your heart toward another is the same as actually doing it? Then He follows with the verses saying if your eye offends you, better to pluck it out than burn in hell, or something like that.

What He is saying is that adultery is first committed in the heart. The definition of lust according to Jesus is that if your friend's wife sees a man and knows in her heart that if that man approached her for sex, she'd do it. That's lust, and your friend's wife has already committed it.

Answer 5

Jehovah's Witness?

http://www.christiancourier.com/articles/read/matthew_2541_jehovahs_witnesses_and_hell

Answer 6

first off, just to say i am not a jehovah witness, but am of the religion it broke off from, im a catholic. lets explain it like this, when we are born, we are born with half of a soul. this half of a soul only becomes connected through the act of marriage. then the man and wife are now one.from there on out this "one" soul should not commit any intimate relations. one can love thyself, and thy neighbor. but coveting thy neighbors wife is unpermisable. this friend of yours has a wife who has commited against one of the great commandments. she has commited it on the grounds that she has coveted other men above her husband. this is adultery for she has had intimate relations with another, even if she didnt go all the way, it doesn't matter. marriage is a unification. sin is a seperator. therefore he is no longer married to her on a spirtual level, so he has no need to be on a legal level.

Answer 7

Jehovah's Witnesses correctly consider the Scriptural definition of "fornication" as the only grounds for a divorce allowing remarriage (there are several other grounds the religion accepts for a legal divorce that do not allow remarriage).

"Fornication" technically includes any interaction of non-spouses (or a person and an animal) involving stimulation of the sex organs intended for the sexual pleasure of one or both participants. The broadness of 'mutual masturbation' or 'genital manipulation' is felt to be too subjective to permit its use as a justification for Scriptural divorce allowing remarriage, however.

So-called "penetrative sex", such as oral, anal, or vaginal sex is generally understood to allow an "innocent" Jehovah's Witness Scripturally divorce his sinful spouse with the possibility of remarriage.

Answer 8

God did not say how far is far - Fooling around is going all the way.

She does not believe in God - he should have been more careful in whom he married.

But none of this helps - God knows the Truth - If she is fooling around - then she has committed adultery - the woman is supposed to keep herself only for her husband - and the husband is supposed to do the same.

Check out http://www.johnfourteen.com
Look at "Studies in the Bible"
many answers to everyday life
can be found there.

Answer 9

Fornication=Any sex before marriage

Adultery=Sex outside of Marriage with anyone other than your mate.
Jesus said that if you looked at someone with lust you have
committed adultery.Mat 5:27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
Mat 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
In Christ in Love,
TJ57

Answer 10

That is what Jesus fullfilled in the law, the law was not changed but now we can sin with our mind.
Mt 5:27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
Mt 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.