I really care for my man but sometimes he can be so selfish and inconsiderate. He says he cares for me but his actions speaks louder than his words. I dont know what to do or how to feel anymore.
2006-07-25 15:08:55 · 47 answers · asked by trinity 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well, he prolly really does care for ya...but doesn't really realize how his actions affect you...best thing to do is sit down n tell him how u feel n such, ya kno...heart to heart talk. But if it continues after that, what more can u do then to move on. Some guys don't pick up on things right away, n plus it can be hard to adjust n change....but as long as they're willin to for ya then maybe u have sumthin worth holdin on to....good luck with wutever ya do....but heart to heart talk sounds like your best move.
2006-07-25 15:13:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you be bitchy and whiny at times? I suppose you can. Should he get on this website and post about your bitchiness or whining? If he did I'm sure most of the women would bust his balls like they already have.
Men are different than women..that's why he's the way he is. It's not a news flash, women have just been trying to change men for the past 40 years in this country. Boys are put on Ritilin and told to be "more sensative" if they don't they get a label. When they become men they watch girls fall for the jerks because all women want the "badboy" then they complain about him acting like a badboy.
The men on this forum who tell you to dump the guy because you deserve better are the men who are still trying to be sensative 90's guys. These are the men you can date, marry and take all of their money. These are the men who if you are confronted in a parking lot at night by a thug will piss their pants at the thought of a confrontation.
Sometimes men don't give a rats *** about what you bought at the mall, or what you are feeling after watching something on LIFETIME, anymore than you care that the Chiefs just kicked the Raiders' asses again.
Sounds like you might have a real man. He isn't insensative all the time or you wouldn't be with him.
My wife has the same complaints about me at times, but when she needs back up she counts on me. When she's being too emotional about a family issue ( teenage daughter's smartmouthing) she defers to me. When a man at her job threatened her..she didn't want a sensative 90's guy, she wanted me. I can be sensative, but I don't exude it. If you cry all the time it has no meaning. Crying is for important things like the Chiefs losing in the first round of the playoffs.
2006-07-25 18:01:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men have a certain role that society has placed on them that they feel they need to portray. There taught to provide, work, and keep emotions in. But it seems like ( no offense ) that your guy just might be an as*. Sitt down and let him know how you feel, make sure your telling EVERYTHING, write it down if you have to. The worst thing that can happen is for you to forget to tell him something during a heart to heart. And you answered your own question. "He says he cares for me but his actions speaks louder than his words." Then he needs to be out of your life. There isnt a person on this earth who has the right to make you feel bad about yourself, or make you feel your not worth anything. You have a right to be with someone who will treat you right, let him know this and tell him see ya when i see ya. Of course its not that simple, especially if you care for the person but that could be the general guide line.
2006-07-25 15:17:09 · answer #3 · answered by Gemini85 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My experience, and conversations that I have had with my husband tell me that men just think differently than women do (for the most part). Women tend to think with their heart and their feelings. They tend to make things complex. Which, personally, I think can be a good and a bad thing depending on the situation. Men on the other hand, think more concretely and/or logically. Not to say that us women are not logical. Men tend to think of what's best for them. They're subconsciencely thinking of their own satisfaction and self preservation. This doesn't mean that they don't care. It simply means that they are not on the same wave length. Try telling your guy EXACTLY what you want from him. Chances are, if he knows exactly he stands, he will do his best to make you feel that he cares. You just need to give him the definition of what you need from him. he may not even realize that his actions come across as insensitive to you.
2006-07-25 15:20:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you "really care" then stop complaining and take him for what it's worth -- the good with the bad. OR... perhaps this is a sign you should end the relationship and try to find someone who better fits your needs and understands your feelings and stuff. It's not easy to find the perfect mate, but it's certainly worth trying to do so. Life is short... if you're not happy, and there are no kids involved who would be hurt by it, then move on and enjoy life. Good luck.
2006-07-25 15:13:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, I've said this quite often but men are hunters and protecters. We don't know how to deal with womens feelings. Never have and for the most part never will. That's just the way it is. If you want a sensitive man then find one before you dump the guy you're with. They are out there but even they don't completely understand womans feelings. DEAL WITH IT!!!
2006-07-25 15:13:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most humans ...male and female...are insensitive or inconsiderate at some time in their lives. Think about how you behave...is it possible that you were insensitive and didn't realize it and just maybe he thinks that is the nature of your relationship. You may need to keep reminding him what makes you upset with him for the rest of your relationship...or just accept that it is part of his nature or upbringing. You can' t change him but you can demand common courtesy. You have to decide what you are prepared to live with. It sound like you are unhappy with him...regardless of how much you 'love' him.
2006-07-25 15:13:47 · answer #7 · answered by toe poe gee gee oh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't dump him for that reason cause guys are just not like us, I have been married for almost 9 years and my husband can be very insensitive when it comes to my issues as well it seems to me that he is that way because he doesn't understand and in my case he doesn't want to take the time to understand either I don't think it makes him a bad person just one who deals with issues differently, if he seems like he is worth it then just try to work with him on it.
best of luck to ya
2006-07-25 15:15:18 · answer #8 · answered by unhappyinin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need prozac. Well every woman should be on prozac. What the hell is this crap. If your man cares for you then shut up and believe him. I can't stand when woman moan and complain all the time, I need you to pay more attention to me, Dam women we allready waist our lives for you. Maybe yall should pay more attention to us and gives us some space, instead of constintly trying to control and change us. Accept us as we come or become lizbo's thank you.
2006-07-25 15:16:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys have a different way on looking at things. We obsess over BIG emotional issues, they actually get more pissed off at little things. I've known guys to break up with a girl who accidentally ruin their shirts than to break up with them if they have different religious backgrounds.... I think that maybe you need to have a talk with your honey... Just tell him he needs to listen and act right. Try not to argue, because the louder you speak, the less they hear. Just tell him how you feel.
2006-07-25 15:11:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋