I recently moved close to my older sister. She has 4 children: a daughter age 10, a 5 year old set of twins (boy and girl) and a 10 month old son. She asked me to watch them and I agreed. I love my sister and my neices and nephews very much and babysitting gave me a way to get closer to them. A few minor problems came up, such as not her not having infant formula for the baby when she dropped him off, or not returning when she said she would. But I let these go. The real problem began when she asked me to come to her home to babysit. Everything was fine until I went to check on her oldest daughter. She was alone in her parents room with the computer. She was looking up adult material online. I told her that she was not allowed online while I was there. I informed her parents and they decided not to allow her Internet access at all for a while. Ever since then babysitting has become a nightmare! She dose things like hide the baby's diapers, and tell the twins they don't have to listen.
2006-07-25 14:54:34 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
tell her just what you have told us!
2006-07-25 14:58:39 · answer #1 · answered by Selena Jade's Mommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, your sisters' kids are HER responsibily--Not Yours..
Many women use family members as their personal babysitters. When your sister decided to start having all those babies, she should have thought about the responsibilty.
Your sister might become aggresive & angry when you tell her you cant babysit anymore. Now that she's used to having you, I bet you 100 dollars that she'll keep calling you up, giving you sob stories about how she has to run errands and needs your help desperately....But here's what you do: Call her this week or next week, and put her on notice. Tell her that starting in September, she'll have to find a regular babysitter. Give her a date, and also give her time to find someone. And, tell her that you'll help her find someone. Its only fair to give her notice and time..Ask around in your area--maybe theres an old woman who wouldnt mind being a babysitter.Do you know anyone? But your sister might also have to PAY someone--and babysitters can be expensive..Some states have something called "Programs for Parents" through the Division of Children & Family Servies, where they will pay a local woman in your neighborhood to babysit your sisters kids. Call 411 tomorrow for Division of Family Services in your area, and ask them if they have any services like that.
But be firm with your Sister. Just know that she's going to be pissed, but if she starts getting angry--be silent and keep saying No. She'll probably ask you "why?!", and dont tell her about how she hides the pampers and stuff because she'll just tell you that she'll change. Tell her that you want your free time back, and you are tired of kids right now, even though your love your nieces and nephews..You have a right to have peace in your life--you're not the one who laid down and had all those babies!!...About 10 years ago, some female family members started getting pregnant and asked me to babysit--and I told them all "I Do Not BabySit"..They all thought I was a selfish bit%@, but I could care less. I dont have kids, and I didnt lay down and make those babies--they did. You're gonna have to toughen up and reclaim your life...And, its ok to babysit them Sometimes--every now & then, but that 24 hour job has got to stop..And make sure that she doesn't hire some crazy person with crazy people living with them. Check the new babysitter out thoroughly, and if you get any bad vibes, dont put your nieces and nephews in that home.
Good Luck and Peace be With You.
2006-07-25 15:31:14 · answer #2 · answered by Plus-Sized &Proud 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everything you have mentioned is grounds for divorcing the neices and nephews. For you sister to understand why you don't want to do this, you have to tell her what is going on. I was babysitting my neice and nephews until one episode where my daughter was offended by one of them, leaving her in a panick attack trying to breath. I told my sister that I will not put my daughter through that anymore, so no more babysitting.
You just has to be honest and up front with her. It seems to me that your sister is taking advantage of the fact that you are around, and it shouldn't be that way. Talk to her.
2006-07-25 15:08:45 · answer #3 · answered by miss piggy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she is taking full advantage of you. Tell her you are a better aunt then babysitter and you feel it could cause problems in your relationship if she continues to ask this of you. She may get defensive but if her daughter it looking at porn, she tells her kids not to listen and hides diapers, then she has some issues she needs to work on. I am sure she doesn't even pay you. I have two kids, I cannot even imagine imposing on family in that way with two, four kids is way too much!!! Good luck...hang in there, honesty with tact is the best way to go.
2006-07-25 14:59:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her parents that until she is disciplined for her rude behavior, you have decided not to put yourself in a position where you have to deal with it. You are babysitting as a nice gesture, and it would be nice of them to ensure their daughter behaves.
You are under no obligation to babysit. If they are really in a pinch, you could offer to take the other children and then make it the funnest night of their lives for them. She will instantly get that "auntie time is fun time, so quit it with the brat behavior so I dont miss out."
2006-07-25 15:01:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oooo. This is a really touchy one. I would just tell her that if she's in a real bind -- a true emergency -- that you will always come through for her, but as for babysitting them regularly, you'd rather not because you value your position as their aunt, who they love, much more than your position as their babysitter, who they are bound to get angry at for being "the enforcer." Tell her in a loving way that it's not worth the risk to you to have them not love you to pieces because they mean the world to you. She will probably understand.
2006-07-25 15:01:09 · answer #6 · answered by Rvn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm learning English yet, so I hope you be able to get my tought.
Well, I believe in truth and sincerity. I think that when we express ourselves trought these feelings the people can understand that we're saying it for their own good. If I were you, I would take a good conversation with your sister and I'd trying to explain this situation without judge our make her feel bad. Try be so strong and true as you were here, look her in her eyes with love and no with fear.
good luck,
2006-07-25 15:16:01 · answer #7 · answered by rodrigo f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, I'd tell her whats up..i mean she's your sister right. She sounds like a batty, take advantage kind of sis. (Ihave 3 sisters of my own) If she freaks , give her a taste of what it's like when she actually has to LOOK and/ or PAY 4 one. She'll be back. Good luck anyway..family can be brutal!
2006-07-25 15:05:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her what you told us but do it very nicely and with a loving tone of voice. My old boss once told me, "If you make it sound nice, you can say absolutely anything. It's all in the delivery of the message".
2006-07-25 15:11:58 · answer #9 · answered by LL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell her that u can`t babysit any more because u have a life to just tell your sister that her daughter is out of control
2006-07-26 12:18:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell your sis what the oldest child does to torcher you and then tell your sis, "i will take care of your kids but if the 10 year old keeps doing what she does you will have to find a diff baby siter for her.
2006-07-25 15:07:09 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋