Mother in law question.?

Question

What can I do about a loud and boisterous mother in law?
Every time I see her, she is overly enthusiastic and I don't know how to react. It seems unsincere and fake to me. I really don't have much to say to her most of the time, and when I do It's mostly filled in with uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh's from her, between every word I say. So, I usually don't feel like being talkative. She seems to speak down to me. I don't want to tell my man any of this, his last woman had a problem with her. I've tried to meet her enthusiasm, but it's just not me. The thing is, we see her ALOT more than my parents. He used to talk with her 10+ times a day on the phone when we got together, it's dwindled some now. He's asked me how I feel about her. I said, she's nice ( she is ) but can be a little overbearing for me. Now, it's a little too over bearing, I don't think I'll be able to break through her facade, seems like there's a wall there.
How do I handle this when they are so close? - Laid back

Shellee, That is Hilarious! Even though I think you're serious......

We actually did watch Monster In Law together, her idea, and she laughed the hardest when there were the scenes of violence. I thought the movie was slapstick humor, waste of film. The mother was given an excuse to be crazy after a nervous breakdown, not just because her son found a woman. Makes no sense to me. And made me wonder if she thought there was a reason we had to see this film together. There are remarks on here of #1 and #2 and competition, being the third wheel, making him choose between the two women he loves most. I know she's #1 in his eyes always will be. I wouldn't make him choose anything. I didn't sign up for a race,why would I have to compete? But if it does start feeling like I'm in a race I didn't sign up for, Shellee, I'm considering.

Answer 1

just grin and bear it, it will make your life easier to just go with it

Answer 2

Y dont u take it at face value. Let her talk. Just be yr sweet self and smile at what she says. Have u thought that she may be nervous u will not accept her that is y she is acting this way.He is close 2 his son so she wants u 2 love her as a mother also,she does not know u that well, so she is afraid u will not accept her and may lose her son. That is why she is acting this way.By yr actions not words show her that u accept her 4 whatever she is and u will stand by her. Solve this by yr self. Do not make yr husband choose bet the 2 women he loves best. U may end up the loser.

Answer 3

Oh, pumpkin, you are in a tough situation. I feel for you. My poor sister in law had a similar sitch to deal with. She is very quiet and reserved. We on the other hand yell to hear ourselves talk! I gotta tell you though, we love her so very much. It took a long time to get to know her. Matter of fact, I had to learn to shut up, so that I could hear her and get to know her. I am so glad I did. It has to be hard, but just hang in there. Surely you have common ground, aside from her son...My advice is to continue to be your sweet, laid back self and let things just take their course. She may not know how to talk to you either. Many times we get boisterous because we are uncomfortable with the quiet. We are used to being loud. When she gets over bearing, go to the other room and read, unless youre alone with her, then gently mention that you are getting a head ache. Maybe she will get the hint and lower her tones. I wish you the best. Hang in there honey. He is probably worth it.

Answer 4

i totally understand...i could have written exactly what you wrote. First let me tell you that she probably won't change. I have been with my husband 11 years and it has gotten better but it has never gone away. At first it almost felt like a competition. My husband sees what his mom does to me though, so it's not such a burden, as Im sure it is for you. All I can suggest is that you find a way to endear yourself to her. Maybe do something nice for her, or just kind of find ways to not be around as much...either that or learn to accept her for how and who she is, otherwise you will always be uncomfortable around her....Coming from personal experience...it can get better...I promise. It's just hard to deal with when you feel like her affection for you is fake and your husband is so close to her. Sometimes the best thing to do is just find a nice way to tell her how you feel or talk to your husband about it...but every situation is different. I wish you the best of luck.
(Invite her over for movie nite and rent Monster In Law) LOL

Answer 5

Wow. I'm wondering why you are not asking why he talks to his mother 10+ times a day. If they are that close, you are either going to always be second wheel or pushed from the picture because you can't handle her over-enthusiam. If you want to try to make it work, though, you are going to have to set some boundaries for yourself while allowing him to maintain whatever relationship he wants with her. There is nothing wrong with being "busy" with other engagements sometimes. Maybe it won't be so overwhelming if you are dealing with her in smaller doses. Good luck.

Answer 6

Your husband may be the only one that can approach her with this!!!!
You need to explain to him that you like his Mom but like you said she is a little overbearing for you!! Your husband knows how you are and how his Mom is two totally different personalities and he should approach her nicely and explain to her how you are and ask her to tone it down a little.. Ask him to talk to her in a way that it looks like it is his observation and not coming from you that way there are no hard feelings towards you!!!
You never know if she calms a little and you put fourth effort again ya'll just might have a lot more in common than both of you think!!
Good Luck!!!

Answer 7

It sounds like we have the same mother in law overbearing and loud and hard to talk to I am nver sure if she really likes me or not but 1 thing I know is I love my husband very much so I do everything I can to make him happy and just take it day by day and try to talk and understand her after 3 years it's about the same but I do understand that she is always going to be the way she is and try to accept that. My husband also puts up with the crazy people in my family for me. so sometimes you just do what you half to do. for your better half

Answer 8

Sit down and have a mother/daughter talk with her. She is after all your mother (inlaw). Being honest with her is the best thing you can do. Also invite her to do things with you and the kids (if you have kids) Spend quality time with her and eventually her true feelings about you will emerge. Yall will either become the best of friends or she will stop coming around as often and stop calling so much. Also when she comes around make it a family day where your husband is around to help you deal with her.

Answer 9

Try being as silent as possible..
try doing some work or the other when she s around..
don't mention this to ur hubby...they can be quite sensitive about this...
just don't worry about this s long as she doesn't interfere between you and ur hubby

Answer 10

12 Gauge.

Sorry....

I've had a few........


A suppressed .22 Ruger would be much more conscientious to the neighbors.....


Remember...leave the gun...take the Cannolis

Answer 11

I know it would be hard but maybe you could talk to her... and if she gets mad then you know you tried and your husband will just have to know that its not "everybody else "